first gay relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by college195, May 31, 2011.

  1. college195

    college195 New Member

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    Hello All,

    I am recently out to select friends and family members and have been talking to a guy that I like. I think that we will soon be in a relationship. I was wondering if there was any advice for entering my first gay relationship. I know that theoretically it won't be much different than a heterosexual relationship, but any advice would help.

    Thanks
     
  2. cdunstan1

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    Congratulations!
    Tip 1 - Please be safe.
    Tip 2 - Be honest and treat your new boyfriend well.
    Tip 3 - Go slow since this is your first same-sex relationship. If it's also his 1st, very slow.

    Good luck!
     
  3. exwhyzee

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    I can do no better than cdunstan1's great advice. Universal to all relationships I would add: be patient, be kind and respectful, be faithful, and be generous.

    Ah, young love...I hope you guys make each other very happy. :biggrin1:
     
  4. NY4Curious

    NY4Curious New Member

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    The above advice is excellent. And also want to stress how important mutual respect is and how much fun sex can be. Enjoy it and enjoy it often there is nothing to compare to be young and in lust. Give yourself memories that you will warmly carry with you the rest of your life.
     
  5. cdunstan1

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    Oh man, you are too sweet. :love: And the big thick cock and most edible/fuckable ass are a bonus. If I hadn’t just celebrated 10 yrs of monogamy with a great man I’d try to start a relationship with you. :smlove2:

    Back to the topic at hand. One more “sage nugget” of advice. Talk early on about what rules the relationship will have. Are you exclusive? Who pays for shit? Do you get to spend time alone with your friends? Do you keep your old friends or try to merge them? Do you get nights alone? How many a week? Do you have to discuss what you do when you’re not together or is it private time? There aren’t any right or wrong answers and I’m not giving suggestions.I’m saying you’ll probably be happier having the discussion now rather then later. It’s kind of Debbie Downer type of shit. Probably don’t want to bring it up if you’re planning sex. Or pepper him with a shitload of questions all at once.

    Final words. Don’t sweat the small shit. He’s bound to do something gross or annoying like eat his boogers or squeeze the toothpaste the wrong way. Unless it’s worth breaking up with him, get over it.
     
  6. derrick10

    derrick10 New Member

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    I for one agree with everyone here. I would fore all intent a purpose be safe. Just because your in it for the first time dosen't mean he is and a straight relationship is Not The Same. there are many differences. Gay guys get board fast and then it's on to the next.So be true to YOURSELF and don't let your guard down.
     
  7. davidjh7

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    All great advice---one important thing to add is COMMUICATE! Learn to talk about anything and everything and be comfortable about it. Be sensitive in talking with each other, but don't be thin skinned, either. OFten the most important things to talk about are the difficult ones. PRACTICE communicating--it is about the most vital skill you will learn in maintaining a relationship. And don't forget to have FUN with each other. Your partner should be one of your best friends, if not THE best friend. If you are physically attracted to each other, are good friends, and can communicate easily, much of the rest takes care of itself. As mentioned, mutual respect for each other is also vital. Good luck, and I hope you have many happy years together, if it is right for both of you.
     
  8. D_Skid_Marque

    D_Skid_Marque Account Disabled

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    The three rules I have in a gay relationship (myself being in one that has lasted 6 years so far) is to:

    1. Be considerate about their feelings. This goes for emotional, mental, physical. Sex obviously you WONT HAVE ANY FUN if they aren’t having any fun. Mentally and emotionally, not being considerate about their feelings or thoughts or what’s happening around them environmentally will just create fights, and fights don't help anything. It’s all about thinking about whether or not it’s going to hurt them or make them upset before you say anything.

    Which leads me to my second rule, and the biggest rule of any relationship...

    2. Communication. If you don't talk about your problems then nothing gets solved and those problems will only sit and stew over time and the relationship will fail... If you don’t let them know when they're being mean or inconsiderate, then they will never learn and the possibility of it happening again is high and stuff like that can build up and weigh you down... If something important comes up, something they may not necessarily enjoy hearing, you need the trust there in order to tell them and if you don’t have that trust then what do you have?

    3. Have fun and keep things romantic. Make sure you guys have something you both enjoy to do, me and my boyfriend love camping, cars, baseball, movies, video games and eating out. Obviously if you guys like each other its cause you have common ground, so play on that and have a blast. Being romantic can mean any number of things, the broadest term however is just making sure that you do those little things that continue to make them feel like they’re important to you, buying them a flower every now and then, surprising them with a nice meal out, buy some wine and have a quiet night in, text them during the day to say you’re thinking about them (this one here has gotten me through some rough days).
     
  9. D_Skid_Marque

    D_Skid_Marque Account Disabled

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    The three rules I have in a gay relationship (myself being in one that has lasted 6 years so far) is to:

    1. Be considerate about their feelings. This goes for emotional, mental, physical. Sex obviously you WONT HAVE ANY FUN if they aren’t having any fun. Mentally and emotionally, not being considerate about their feelings or thoughts or what’s happening around them environmentally will just create fights, and fights don't help anything. It’s all about thinking about whether or not it’s going to hurt them or make them upset before you say anything.

    Which leads me to my second rule, and the biggest rule of any relationship...

    .......................

    Bloody double post...
     
  10. davidjh7

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    Hey, quit stealing what I said (even if it is common sense and has been stated many times before...) :biggrin1:
     
  11. D_Skid_Marque

    D_Skid_Marque Account Disabled

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    I've actually never ever ever ever had this discussion with my partner, things just naturally happened whether I got along with his friends, if he got along with mine, when we hang out, we never merged them, never felt a reason to. The only thing we decided on were emotional choices dealing exclusively with the relationship, like whether open or closed... Actually that was the only one.
     
  12. D_Skid_Marque

    D_Skid_Marque Account Disabled

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    I just posted a comment :p lol
     
  13. erratic

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    Congratulations! Don't forget to take time every now and again to relish in how hot it is to make out with a dude.
     
  14. GayFrog

    GayFrog Member

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    Love him for the person he is and do not try to change or mold him into someone he is not. Shower him with your love every day, but do not smother him. Never allow the little things to fester into a major problem, nip them in the bud. Nurture him but do not mother him. Share your sadness and your joy. Start a new day, and end the night, with a kiss and "I love you". Be his best friend, his mentor and his lover. . .

    Andre and I have been together for thirty years, we have hit a few pot holes along the way but have always managed to find the tar to make a patch. Above all else we have remained true to each other. Though the years have turned the black hair grey I love him more today than yesterday, and I could not imagine a tomorrow without him by my side.

    I am happy for you and wish you many years of love and happiness.

    Marc.
     
    #14 GayFrog, Jun 1, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2011
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