First Gay Relationship

[charlieS]

I have always known that I was gay/bi. I've dated women in past and had a couple of gay experiences in college and high school.

About 4 months ago, I started dating a guy for the first time. I always told myself that I liked men just for the physical things; I never thought that I would be emotionally available to a man. Boy was I wrong. I'm having the time of my life.

I've just come out to my sister and she told her husband. Both are accepting. I still have to tell my mom and my brother. Wish me luck.

BTW...this guy was a friend that I thought was straight. He's very athletic, an outdoors man and women LOVE him--he's gorgeous. We were just hanging out one night and he kissed me and we've been together having fun since.

I still am an anal virgin. He's big and I'm scared! Turns out I give one hell of a blow job and I can swallow like a champ.

Anyone have advice from the first time they had anal sex?

 

[petewentzlover]

use alot of lube and take it slow

 

[BCH]

Your situation sounds like mine. Why do you HAVE to tell Mom? There isn't a rush until you are ready. I laughed at "it started with a kiss" EXACTLY like my situation. Don't rush into any anal stuff until you are ready and Pete is correct...LUBE Is your BF a top? Has he had anal? Ask him

 

[crescendo69]

First time sex can be clumsy, but something tells me you will be a natural. Use a condom.

 

[penandpencil]

use a condom and make sure it doesn't contain spermicide
use GOOD lube
Nonoxynol 9 Spermicide

 

[Viking_UK]

A lot of lube and patience. Might be easier if you're on top, then you can control how much you take and how quickly. If he's really big, you could try stretching with a dildo first.

 

[B_stanmarsh14]

use a condom and make sure it doesn't contain spermicide
use GOOD lube
Nonoxynol 9 Spermicide

WARNING, though I would deffo recommend using lube for anal, I would NOT advise using any lube that contains a spermiside, especaly Nonoxynol 9.

Reason for this, is that Nonoxynol 9 breaks down the mucus membraine in the anus, and can cause a number of issues.

This is why these days unlike the days of old, most condom manu's have stopped using a spermiside baised lube and now use a plain lube with more couples praticing anal intercorse (same sex / male+female)

 

[bottombuddy]

patience and lots of lube............better include some foreplay first too.

 

[blkpussyboy]

1st time is gonna hurt like shit.......my first was with a 7inch dick couldn't take it for more than 5mns

 

[Kimahri]

Taking it slow will help. Good lube will help. Being turned on like a mother will help. If he's a caring top that knows he's big, he'll be gentle with you. My first time was something.

 

[Lex]

Taking it slow will help. Good lube will help. Being turned on like a mother will help. If he's a caring top that knows he's big, he'll be gentle with you. ...

Exactly.

A good cleaning out before hand is critical as well.

 

[charlieS]

thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate it. I'll keep you guys posted on my situation.

 

[~quicksilver~]

All good advice. I would recommend starting on top. It's less scary and you can control how much goes in and at what speed. Lots of foreplay and kissing and playing. Get your BF to loosen you up with lots of rimming and/or fingering first. It'll make it easier. LOTS of lube, go really slowly, keep eye contact and communicate with each other. Best of luck. Once you get used to it... you will love it.

 

[JoeMN]

Slow will still hurt some. If you do not trust him to try it in this way, you have the wrong guy. When he enters you and you feel uncomfortable, have him withdraw some, pause and you will know when you are ready for more. It is OK to ask him to stop till you are ready for him to really have fun.
-I hope that this helps you.

 

[Novaboy]

Remember, you don't have to "go all the way" the first time or times you try anal. Lots of play with fingers to get used to the sensation of being penetrated will help (and feel really good too!). You can also practise on your own to see what it feels like. Good luck, have fun, be safe.

Novaboy

 

[headbang8]

the last person to give you advice on anal...there are many more qualified than I on this board. But let me just congratulate you on letting yourself become emotionally involved with another man. Often, that's harder than overcoming your physical squeamishness.

 

[Gnashin Teefe]

Anyone have advice from the first time they had anal sex?

My first several attempts at receiving anal were pretty much a disaster (even with lots of lube). I lost my erection, nearly passed out from the pain, lost my erection, even some blood.

Then finally I was with a guy who spent a ton of time teaching me how to relax and open up. When he finally got inside of me, it sent me over the edge almost immediately and I had perhaps the most intense orgasm of my life (without even touching my dick). I have loved anal sex ever since.

Good luck to you.

 

[PaiselyPark]

My first time with a guy (and first sexual experience) was getting right to it over the seat of a car on a first date with a friend who was packing 10". He could only get a little more than half way in. After his first few tentative strokes in me, I came almost immediately, also w/o hands. I was finally able to relax enough to where I felt his hips on my ass. This was the pre-safe sex era so no condom. He came in me shallow, as he was pulling out. Overall, hurt like hell, felt like he was in me for days, and I loved every minute of it!

 

[B_Hung Jon]

the last person to give you advice on anal...there are many more qualified than I on this board. But let me just congratulate you on letting yourself become emotionally involved with another man. Often, that's harder than overcoming your physical squeamishness.

I think this is the best comment. I know if I didn't didn't grow up loving my best male friend I'd have a hard time understanding my relationship with him. Once you can admit that you have feelings for the other person everything else sort of works out. :smile:

 

[EBlend]

I also agree. Even for gay men, it seems like it's often more difficult for a man to open up emotionally to another man than physically. And when you do have reciprocal love between two guys, the physical lovemaking stuff just sorts itself out with some patience. You don't HAVE to do anything except what you both want to do.