First guy on guy hookup

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Slamdunk_dude, Sep 14, 2005.

  1. Slamdunk_dude

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    222
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SoCal
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hey guys,

    As some of you know from my first thread I'm an 18 yr old guy experimenting and learning about his sexuality. Problem is I have never had any kind of sexual contact with a guy, I feel like I'm ready to see what it is like but have no idea how to initiate something. Am I totally clueless? LOL I don't really feel comfortable experimenting with friends but that only leaves strangers.

    What do you all think about meeting dudes on the net and hooking up? or cruising? I can't even believe I'm asking but I feel like I need to know what its like...

    Sorry if I sound crazy

    Slamdunk_Dude
     
  2. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    You don't sound crazy at all.
    Are you simply looking for a "hook up" or a relationship?
     
  3. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,341
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,957
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Well....being 18 is a fun time in a guys life. I would have to aree with you that experimenting with friends can lead to bad things if it doesn't go well between those friends which you "play" with. So..with that stated. I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting guys on the net. I would suggest you get to know something about them first...don't just go looking for someone to have sex with. Chat with them and even email each other till you feel comfortble with them. There is nothing wrong with letting them know that you aren't looking for a relationship..you are much to young for that. Now is the time to play....explore your desires. You can keep it flitatious..and that can lead you to other areas. Just what ever you do....Do not ever go meet anyone in a private place. This is very dangerous...I would be nice is there was something like a date ...then take things from there.....if you feel thats where you want to go, then by all means go out and "play".... I can not stress enough, that if you do decide to get sexual...PLEASE PLEASE...use condoms. If he tells you he doesn't like them..then he doesn't get to play with you...period....got it.
    Just becarefull....there are a lot of creepy guys out there. Stay within you age group. Maybe find someone who is not experinced like yourself. ...That can be fun...learning together.....then you can both laugh if things are strange or feel odd.
    Hope this helps.
    Just be safe...... :hi:
     
  4. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    All good advice, bbb2.5, as usual. Slamdunk, man, this is FAR from crazy. Please don't think it is all so scary and dangerous. Dating is fun -- my only advice is not to take it too seriously. You'll meet some real duds along the way but also some great guys; you'll have mindblowing sex, boring sex, weird sex, stupid sex, fun sex. Take it as it comes.

    I remember being confused when I was a little horny gay tyke starting out. It wasn't difficult to hook up with guys, I suppose, because I grew up in New York City and there were plenty of options for meeting guys. I think it's easier if you're near an urban center.

    Have fun. Relax. You're 100 percent normal.
     
  5. Irvy

    Irvy Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    312
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    N Ireland
    If I can add my 2 cents, I'd really recommend trying to find someone in a similar situation and age to yourself. There are lots of much older guys (some of whom may already have sent you a message becuase of this thread, offering their "help) who like to prey on young guys, confused enough in their sexuality to do whatever they tell them to.

    Take things slow, make up a list of rules about how far you're prepared to go for now, and stick with it. If you're unsure about your sexuality, it won't take very much for you to realise whether or not this is for you, and if you are indeed just straight and curious, you'll have an easier time coming to terms with finding out by having a wank with someone your own age than you will finding out with some 40 year old dripping sweat on your back as he fucks you.

    Take things easy, have fun, but most importantly, look after yourself.
     
  6. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    GREAT advice Irvy.........and funny!
    :rofl:
     
  7. Irvy

    Irvy Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    312
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    N Ireland
    Thanks alleyblu!

    It is true though. I've witnessed in chatrooms the lengths some of these older guys will go to in order to snare an 18 year old out on his first time. They're like cats high on catnip. The curious teen, in their mind, doesn't have the experience to know what to say no to, and I've spoken with guys who told me just what some of these guys told them and assured them of to try to get them into their bed (or rented apartment on the other side of town, well away from their wife and kids).

    General rule of thumb, if some guy tells you the first time recieving anally doesn't hurt, he doesn't give a shit about you finding out about your sexuality, he's only after getting what he wants.
     
  8. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    This reminds me of a conversation I had a while ago. There was a guy I was chatting with online, who related to me that once he was chatting with this "guy" online, and they really hit it off. After a few benign chat sessions with him, they decided to meet up. My friend said he meet with him at a local mall. After waiting 15 minutes or so the "guy" showed up and my friend almost fainted. He said the "guy" had to be around 15 years old. He was shocked because he didn’t look very youthful at all on cam. My friend gave him a really good "talking to" about the dangers of the internet, and hooking up with strangers at such a young age.
     
  9. Slamdunk_dude

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    222
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SoCal
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hey guys,

    Thanks for the sound advice. I think part of the reason that this is driving me so crazy at the moment is that I'm still figuring out where i fit in on the continuum that is sexuality. I have had relationships with girls and loved some, hated some, same with my sexual experience with girls....and now I have to go through it all again with guys, all the time trying to be discreet as most people don't know about my bisexual/gay feelings.

    I feel really happy though that I am able to accept that this is what I want to do, I feel sorry for people who deny themselves experiences because they feel like there is something wrong with them.

    Anyway, thanks for the good advice, I'll try and take things slow and OF COURSE safe. :happy:
     
  10. cjb76

    cjb76 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    hey dude,

    I'll throw in the 2 cents that there's nothing wrong at all... I think just going out and "hooking up" probably isn't going to be the best scenario.... I think finding someone in your own scenario... age, experience is probably a good route... cause gay me definitely like to prey on the young and inexperienced and I've gone the route of being used and abused for my curiousity...

    mostly it's just finding someone you're comfortable with and build some rapport of trust .. doesn't have to be a relationship ... but casually dating someone isn't a boyfriend.... and the sex will be better with someone you can go at a few times to try different things... sex is always better and more fun with the same person and someone you can be yourself.

    It's a rough road and the web is a scary fucked up place... but there are lots of gems out there.. you could always post a profile somewhere stating what you're looking for and see what approaches you... you might be surprised at who will write you stating the same desires and situations... you'll just have to put up with a lot of "you're cute, wanna fuck" e-mails... but the quality 10% will be worth the wait... just never sacrifice your safety, dignity or self -worth to anyone or let someone talk you into something you don't feel comfortable with.

    I've actually had sex with people that wanted to explore.. mostly cause I knew what was out there and wanted to make sure that their first experience was something positive.. usually it was pretty low key or just mutual getting off etc... but I've broken in a few who wanted to bottom.. which lasted like maybe 2 min. mostly cause I knew they were uncomfortable and in a bit of pain and just stopped... but in the end they'd tell me later that it hurt but it wasn't as bad as they thought and can see how it can be fun.... too bad my first times were more the "please god, is it over yet?".

    I guess just be picky, and not let your curiousity get the best of you.


    - Clay
     
  11. CUBE

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2005
    Messages:
    7,332
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,182
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The OC
    I'm wondering if you have a support group of a friend or two that understands what you are going through just to lend an ear. Besides us:) If I have a wish for you it is that you date. Wondering if this right for you is not just had from banging a guy/gal. Certainly you have good advice with the boys above.
     
  12. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Your very welcome Slamdunk_dude. Be sure to report back about how it all went.....there's nothing more that we love to hear then a happy ending :happy:
     
  13. Slamdunk_dude

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    222
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SoCal
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hey CUBE,

    A couple of my buddies do know how i feel, one is straight and one is curious like me but nothing will ever happen there, trust me it would be like fooling around with my brother or something, gross.
    I will ask their advice nonetheless. Thanks for the support Alley Blue, its all pretty new and daunting to me so having support on here makes a big difference
    :yourock:
     
  14. CUBE

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2005
    Messages:
    7,332
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,182
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The OC
    Yeah, I didn't mean "do them" just great that you have some friends so your not trying to fulfill that bonding need through fucking. let us know how things go as it all unfolds. Cheers
     
  15. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    There has been some cool and realistic advice here.
    Hooking up does "depend" on lots of factors.

    I have hooked up with people online that i built a knowledge
    of, even a friendship with over time.
    I have hooked up with total strangers, much as i am not really
    proud of that.
    I've had great times and horrible times.
    No really scary times, though.

    Anyway, if you are ready, go for it.
    But listen to your instincts.
    If you dont feel ok about it, it might not be a totally positive experience.
     
  16. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Hooking up with a guy 101
    1) Protect yourself. Learn all about STDs and how their transmitted. Familiarize yourself with your local health department. Since you are a gay male, you may want to get a Hepatitis combo shot. Plus, all the info about AIDS.
    2) Learn how to wear a condom properly. Some guys bitch about condoms being too tight. But fellas you put your big cock in tighter holes, haven't you? No complaints or excuses.
    3) Make sure that the guy you are getting involved with has great open energy about him. Meaning: he isn't high and/or drunk, has "issues", doesn't have anger mgmt. issues, life problems, sh-tty to be around, a downer, unable to listen and abide by your boundaries, and anything else you can think of that would be prohibitive of you having a good experience.
    4) You will have to do the same things in Rule 3 for him as well.
    5) Agree that at any time you want to STOP. STOP means STOP. NO means NO.
    6) Read up on everything related to sex. Check out some books at the library about sex, love, and relationships. If you are a little scared about that, take you a pen and a notebook to the library. Study those books there and take notes.
    7) Date teenagers in your own age group. No older men yet. When you become an older guy, you can date older. There are a lot of people out there that do prey upon guys your age. Follow this rule, you will be thankful--trust me.
    8) Don't ever drink, drug, or smoke. Don't you even start and/or think about it! See Rule 3 and 4. You will thank me for this.
    9) Don't ever devalue someone or bring anger into the sexual space. If you guys do you've killed any chances of having good sex.
    10) Know that the characters on Queer As Folk or Oz do not represent all of gay society.
    11) It is OK to change your mind.
    12) Be able to talk about anything and everything that you and the interested party want to do before anything gets started. Always express what you're wanting to do and know what you aren't willing to do. If there is any disagreements, you can postpone sex and/ or find a willing partner who is agreeable.
    13) If it is your first time doing anything, don't be afraid to let your partner know your inexperience.
    14) Always have money for a cab, bus, or train home. Have cab numbers on hand.
    15) Always have high-quality condoms and premium lube (designed for condoms) for sex on hand at all times. Better to have and not need them than to Not have and need it. Have a goody bag for them.
    16) Remember that all of these rules apply to your partner as well.
    17) Don't ever trivialize sex. Just when you do, you'll find you have more to learn.
    18) To enjoy life, you have appreciate and respect life. Appreciate yours and respect it. Appreciate your partner's and respect it. In love, you have to make sure that both are always on the page at all times. You can marry in love today and find out tomorrow divorced and hating on each other. Sexual attraction and desire isn't love. Love has many definitions make sure that you both are on the same definitions. People evolve. Always have a breakup strategy. Talk about it before it happens. Think very deep before you leap.
    19) Remember there will be mistakes made in sex. Nothing is ever perfect. Have a sense of humor. Funny is sexy sometimes.
    20) Always let someone (preferably your guardian and a great close friend of the family) know where you are going and go where you say. No deviations.
    21) A relationship is a learning exercise. Study and take notes.
    22) Consider rejections as blessings in disguise and as stepping stones to greater people.
    23) Always learn some hobbies. Enjoy your life. There's other things in life besides sex, you know.
    24) No hookups on the internet! Are you crazy? You figure the reasons on that one.
    25) Masturbation is great. Remember that hot guy that rubbed his big old dick in the mall rest room and he's totally straight and married. Yeah, bummer. Go home to your room and masturbate. Fantasize about him fucking you with his big dick and going home to his wife. Or whatever twisted scenario.
    26) It is okay to admire the handsomeness and beauty around us all. Fantasies are so better than actual sex. All men regardless of orientation are indeed sexy to gay men. Appreciate that. Never ever think that because you are sexually attracted to that person that that person wants to have sex with you. You can't get what you want. It is better to wait get what comes to you naturally. Always ask permission. Courtesy is a virtue. It is a form of respect and admiration.
    27) Please do exercise proper hygiene habits. Be clean and fresh-smelling. A little cologne goes a long way. Anti-perspirant. Dental hygiene: Brushing and flossing.
    28) Be yourselves.
    29) If you don't expect, then you'll never be disappointed. Be open-minded.
    This is my hook up 101 guide. I have met lots of guys with this guide including ex-BF (LTR of six years). Invisibleman. :beer: :yourock:
     
  17. dfox7.3x5

    dfox7.3x5 New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Hey, Invisible, your advice is right-on and beautifully stated. I hope many guys, not just Slamdunk, take what you said to heart. You are very cool.
     
  18. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Let's just say I've learned my fair share of knocks and learned from other's mistakes. Thanks for the comments. Invisibleman :yourock: :beer:
     
  19. Slamdunk_dude

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    222
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SoCal
    Verified:
    Photo
    Wow! Invisibleman thanks for the advice! Very helpful... :yourock:
     
  20. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    You're welcome. Just be careful and have some fun. Pay attention and study those words. Print it out. Copy some and give to your partners. And with these rules, there is always room for additional rules. Because I may have forgotten them doesn't mean they aren't important. You may have more to add to this. Add your own. Be safe and take care. Invisibleman. :beer:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted