I had many 3somes (or moresomes) with my 1st and 3rd boyfriends. My 1st boyfriend and I would head over to the adult bookstore (this place was a very popular place at the time) after we left the bar and would pick up a 3rd. We had a few bad 3somes but we also had some great 3somes. I don't think we ever sat and talked with the 3rd before we had sex. Pretty sure we just jumped into it each time.
I met my 3rd boyfriend at an adult bookstore and we would usually go to an adult bookstore or bathhouse once or twice a week. In those cases, I don't think there was very much chat before hand. In the cases were we would go online and find a 3rd, I think most of the chat was done online before they came over. When they did arrive, we would get right to the sex part. A few times we would chat with them when the sex was over. But usually they would just leave.
There were a couple of times that I remember we chatted and relaxed before jumping into sex. One of those times was when we invited a couple over for some play time. They were friends from out-of-town and we had hinted about having a 4some next time we got together. When they did come over, we chatted for a while, had a few drinks and then headed down to our "play room". We played around for a few hours and then we went back upstairs and hung out for a while before we had dinner. After dinner, they went back home. We did this a few times with them. And while it was a 4some, it always ended up with me being with the top of that couple and my ex being with the bottom of that couple.
The other times that come to mind were the 2 times we hosted an orgy at our house. The first time there was around 10 guys that showed up. (The second time it was closer to 15 guys.) But as the guys would arrive, we would hang around, have a drink, watch some porn and chat with the guys. After everybody arrived, most of the guys would have another drink and get comfortable being naked (or in their underwear) with the other guys. We would show everybody the different areas we had set up for sex and then we would introduce everybody to each other and made sure everybody was comfortable. And then the fun would begin. I think the chill time and introducing everybody to each other really helped make it a great evening.