yeah, lotsa foreplay, trying fingering and other things, working up your arousal to that point. The more relaxed you are the better it will be for BOTH involved. Also be sure to use plenty of lube (if you think its too wet, you're doing it right) and go slow. It helps if you use a position where the one who's bottoming is in control. Once the top is all the way in, just take a moment to relax and build up once ur used to it. The first time will require patience, but u'll appreciate it in the end, and u'll know ur doing it right