First time at a gay sauna with husband

swimcub

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My husband and I are going to a sauna for the first time this weekend when we visit europe.
Ive always been more in to the idea than him but I can tell he is keen.
Any suggestions for a monogamous couple who want to explore public sex but still keep it vaguely private.
Quite nervous.
 
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OKCLane

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We’ve gone to bath houses around the globe. It’s easy enough to say “we’re not looking for a third” if someone tries to join. You don’t have to be a jerk about it. Never had anyone get pissy about it.
 
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Andrue

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Keep in mind that only you two know that you're actually a couple. The others will think you're two dudes who just met up. So if you are in a place where you can play with your room door open, just tell anyone who wants in that they can look but not touch. I doubt anyone will object to a free fuck show. Having a few guys jacking off while watching you two could be a super turn on.
 

gohara

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Are you both interested in the idea of having people watch you or possibly join in? I had a threesome in a hot tub with a backyard full of guys once. Everyone watched us fucking each other and swallowing each other’s cocks. It was a huge turn on and excitement for us to be watched. A couple walked over and stood by the hot tub, they were making out and feeling up and down each other. Then they started taking turns sucking each other off. I noticed and swam over to the corner of the hot tub and grab the guys dick who was standing getting his dick blown by his husband. They told me they just like to watch but thank you. I kindly went back to the two guys in the jacuzzi and let the two guys watch. So just be mindful that everyone has their own way and it should be respected.
 

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I wanted to add that I think when we met we were both quite inexperienced and never visited saunas as they were quite intimidating prospects, but now we are at a stage where we would like to check one out, even its just once.
In my mind its much better to explore it together than let it niggle away for years and then become a bigger issue.
 
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Andrue

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Thanks for your replies everyone.

I assumed that it would be the case that we just have to make it clear with people that we aren't interested in sexual contact with anyone else.

It should be no issue if you do it politely, with a smile and acknowledge that they just paid you a compliment while you're saying "No, thanks though!"
Throw in that it's your first time and you might get a few tips from the regulars on when to visit, when to avoid it, what nights are really good or special events to try and attend, etc..

Steam baths can be quite social places, particularly for the local gay crowd that go there regularly and start making friends. They're not all just about finding someone to fuck or play with then dash out the door. Friday or Saturday nights might be, when it's super packed but other less crazy busy times it can be very relaxed and casual but still sexy as fuck.

Have fun and let us know how it goes when you do attend.
 

swimcub

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It should be no issue if you do it politely, with a smile and acknowledge that they just paid you a compliment while you're saying "No, thanks though!"
Throw in that it's your first time and you might get a few tips from the regulars on when to visit, when to avoid it, what nights are really good or special events to try and attend, etc..

Steam baths can be quite social places, particularly for the local gay crowd that go there regularly and start making friends. They're not all just about finding someone to fuck or play with then dash out the door. Friday or Saturday nights might be, when it's super packed but other less crazy busy times it can be very relaxed and casual but still sexy as fuck.

Have fun and let us know how it goes when you do attend.

Thanks, we are heading on a Saturday afternoon/early eve. I think more than anything the thought of being able to have a spa/sauna/steam with other men, not in a hetrosexual space is the most appealing part of it, the sex part is an added bonus/extra really.
 

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My husband and I are going to a sauna for the first time this weekend when we visit europe.
Ive always been more in to the idea than him but I can tell he is keen.
Any suggestions for a monogamous couple who want to explore public sex but still keep it vaguely private.
Quite nervous.
My partner and I were in much the same position. We were never uncomfortable at a sauna and over time have progressed from watch and be watched - both which can be stimulating to some safe group play. Take your time and ensure you are always in the same page. Looking forward to your update. Pm if it is helpful
 

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Thanks for your replies everyone.

I assumed that it would be the case that we just have to make it clear with people that we aren't interested in sexual contact with anyone else.



Out of interest are you gay TNMAN?
Well I hate the label thing, let me just say I can swing both ways
 
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swimcub

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My partner and I were in much the same position. We were never uncomfortable at a sauna and over time have progressed from watch and be watched - both which can be stimulating to some safe group play. Take your time and ensure you are always in the same page. Looking forward to your update. Pm if it is helpful
Thanks so much for letting me know. Will let you know how it goes!
 
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Are you both interested in the idea of having people watch you or possibly join in? I had a threesome in a hot tub with a backyard full of guys once. Everyone watched us fucking each other and swallowing each other’s cocks. It was a huge turn on and excitement for us to be watched. A couple walked over and stood by the hot tub, they were making out and feeling up and down each other. Then they started taking turns sucking each other off. I noticed and swam over to the corner of the hot tub and grab the guys dick who was standing getting his dick blown by his husband. They told me they just like to watch but thank you. I kindly went back to the two guys in the jacuzzi and let the two guys watch. So just be mindful that everyone has their own way and it should be respected.
I’d love to be at that party!!
 

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My partner and I occasionally go to a bathhouse. We go our separate ways for the most part. Neither of us gets a room or goes back to anyone's room. No fucking for sure. We both enjoy the sexual atmosphere and a grope here and there is fun as we have permission. He likes other so suck him and I like a bit of both. We are secure enough to know that a bit of fun won't hurt us. He has a big dick and knows I like them big. He'll tell me "you should check out that guy" type of thing. For the most part we just watch and enjoy the freedom and sexual atmosphere. Went to one in Brussels but we were the only people there!
 
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Be prepared to shut guys down in very clear, no-nonsense language if you are playing in a public space and don't want any other participants. There is an unwritten rule with saunas that if you play in public you are giving implied consent for people to join in or at least try their luck at joining in. The polite guys will ask first but some of them won't so you need to be vigilant. Don't go in the dark room and if you're in one of the public areas try and find a corner where you can be on show but see anyone approaching so there's no surprises.

A better option for you might be if you can find a place that has rooms with holes or glass walls, a lot of them do for this very purpose - allows you to play in a private cabin without anyone directly interacting, but guys can still see you and you can get the turn on of being seen. The rooms with holes may allow guys to put their cocks through but once they realise you're not going to be sucking them they will lose interest.

Good luck, have fun and let us know how it goes!
 
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swimcub

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We finally got round to doing this! It was a great experience, very relaxed, we took it at our own pace and never felt pressured by anyone. At one point we went in to the darkened steam room and made out whilst a few guys massaged us and jerked us off. We both came with the help of other guys. Was really hot. What was nice was that we both did it together and it was clearly communicated and the overwhelming feeling was that it was nice to be in a place where we could be amongst other gay men and explore our sexuality. I don't think it will become a super regular thing but its we will definitely do it again at some point and its been great for our sex life since.
 

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in this day and age, i think this is one of the reasons that bath houses should exist. If you had wanted to explore, like you did, while at home the invitation list would have to be very exclusive and then that takes away from the spontaneity. Glad that you had a good time and are thinking of doing it again.
more reasons for gay baths in the roaring 2020's!