First time blues...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by MotorPT, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. MotorPT

    MotorPT Member

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    Just an hour ago I had sex with a guy all the way for the first time. (I'm bi and hadnt gone all the way with either) We had been talking for a couple of weeks and we decided to go all the way tonight. I topped and had him cum without touching homself while I was inside of him, I didn't even get to cum while fucking... Asked if I could just jerk off or give me head to finish off.... Got a text 10 minutes ago saying "it was great but not gonna happen again, sorry dude" his words. Now I don't know if I did something wrong or just a horrible first time experience.

    What's your opinion/advice.
     
    #1 MotorPT, Nov 30, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2010
  2. dangly

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    Don't judge anything in sex from just one experience, especially not your first time ever. Interpersonal chemistry makes a huge difference.

    If you experience the same issues multiple times with different people, then you should start to be concerned. Otherwise, just enjoy it for what it is.
     
  3. 2phredd

    2phredd Member

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    This part makes no sense.

    However, there's no way of knowing what he meant by that unless he tells you himself. It could be a number of things. Was it also his first time? If so, maybe he decided it wasn't for him. Or maybe he's one of those who doesn't don't like to repeat with guys. Or it may very well be that he didn't like what you did or how you did it. It could be anything. I would say chalk it up as an experience and move on to the next. That may be easier said than done, but hopefully your next experience will be better for everyone involved. Again, unless he tells you himself why, there's no way to really know.
     
  4. 8060

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    I think that perhaps your body was more willing than your brain/heart was for this sex that you had. You say you're bisexual. That's a very emotional plane to live on, friend. Then you say you didn't touch him during sex. That's very displaced sex and sounds kind of boring, lonely even. Where's the connection? No cum, no orgasm? That's the proof that people that sleep with us get that we have let the feelings that they are putting on us sexually in us. With us men, it can show that we've been satisfied by the sex that we just had. You didn't give him that either while you didn't touch him during a highly emotional act, sex itself. There is more than one negative point of view looking at the experience through his eyes. I would say those things would be reason enough that he would send you a text message like that.

    I don't think it matters what kind of sex you have. What matters is that it stems from something emotional. It's the emotion that makes sex feel good and be good, not the body. The body feels good from the association that you put to it and that's stemmed from the brain.

    So, reflect on your previous talks with your friend, remember why he is your friend, look at it from his POV, and just be real with him about how you feel and why you did what you did. Show empathy and it should be alright. No blues for you, guy. Insanity is on the verge...you did just sleep with a dude.




    That last part is the punchline...
     
    #4 8060, Nov 30, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2010
  5. MotorPT

    MotorPT Member

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    Sorry, that sentence didn't make sense. There was a lot of touching and kissing and enjoyment. But what I meant to say was... While we had sex, the penetration part, he cam without touching himself. We were making out as he cam. It was emotional on my part, I had liked him, now not so much.

    It wasn't his first time, I'm just pretty sure he is the type of guy to go from one to another now.
     
  6. deano-uk

    deano-uk Active Member

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    You could be right that it just likes to go from one to the other, if he came from not touching himself, it sounds like he was soo worked up he came or you were nicely massaging his prostat with your cock... Perhaps he felt that he let you down in some way by cumming too soon, not letting you have the pleasure of sucking him off, or playing with his cock....

    Who knows, but don't stress on it, he might get back in contact if not, there are plenty of guys who would love to have sex or a relationship with you fella. Its all experience and this one you can't put down to learn by it, cos you don't know what part perhaps did or didn't happen for him

    Take care fella... next time will be hot hot hot i'm sure


     
  7. dad4you

    dad4you Member

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    My opinion.. the guy is a jerk and you should find someone nicer... HE was/is a bad sex partner.. ugh.
     
  8. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    Really thoughtful, honest and kind. Beautiful, in fact.
     
  9. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    Dont take it personal!!!!! dont get discouraged and keep on havin fun. he sounds like one of these guys who id a selfish lover. we've all had one.
     
  10. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    He is selfish and it's good that you know this now. Any partner who does not see to you and your needs is totally worthless. Move on and find someone to share equally with. It's his problem, not yours. Best to leave him to it.
     
  11. helgaleena

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    I would not ask for a bj after you top. Think where it's been. But a hand job and just a bit of encouragement until you come as well means all the world. It means he has some respect for your feelings too. It sounds to me like he got you away from him much too fast after coming himself, which means he wasn't enjoying himself but afraid to tell you for some reason, and then decided you should not enjoy yourself either. Selfish is definitely what he was.

    Live and learn. Don't think anal is the ultimate of anything either if you by any chance didn't like it. Everyone has different turn-ons and you are limiting yourself by calling any sex act 'all the way' compared to others.
     
  12. SpeedoMike

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    he came, he cum, he gone!

    he got off and that's all he needed maybe. some guys only get off mentally when they can demean the other guy or gal.

    bad dude! bad dude! bad bad dude... go sit in the corner!
     
  13. erratic

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    Forget him, man. He's shown his stripes. Regardless of how good or bad things were (and bad sex generally does not involve the bottom cumming hands-free, so it sounds to me you were doing the right things) you never, ever, ever ditch someone via text. That just screams douchebag.

    Who knows why he did it? Maybe he had a little freak-out over going all the way. Maybe he got what he wanted and is moving on. You'll never know unless he's willing to tell, and it doesn't sound that way.

    Move on. There are plenty of nice men out there and you'll find one (or some) for you.
     
  14. killerb

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    your friend sounds like one of those guys who suddenly stops being into guys once he comes...

    regardless of what his deal is, don't take it personally...

    i also don't really believe the whole "not gonna happen again" business...
     
  15. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    If he busted a nut hands free you rocked his world!

    Some guys are weird about meeting up for repeat performances because they just wanna get laid and are not interested in a FB or BF kinda thing.

    Then like the previous poster said there are some guys who suddenly stop beign into dudes once they nut. I was this way for a long time before I came to terms with being gay...after I had sex with a dude I would be thinking to myself "OMG I just let a dude screw me in the ass and I loved it, SHIT!, WTF is wrong with me? Why I am so fucking queer?"
     
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