First Time Sex Late In Life

love2compare

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Anybody else around here who had first time sex late in his life? I had my first time at 28 and it was with my today's wife. Earlieri was insecure about my size but looking back i should have tried it earlier, should have been more pushy and confident like i am today. But ok better be late than never ;-)
 

mtdScott21

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Yes - I am nearing 41 years old and am still a single virgin. I have had pretty serious self-esteem, body image, and mental health issues throughout my life that have caused me extreme difficulty developing relationships (especially sexual) with women.
 
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Yes - I am nearing 41 years old and am still a single virgin. I have had pretty serious self-esteem, body image, and mental health issues throughout my life that have caused me extreme difficulty developing relationships (especially sexual) with women.
I think it’s important to feel good/comfortable in your own skin before connecting with someone else in a sexual way. Realistically this doesn’t usually happen for most people and, I believe, it can cause some issues that can be difficult to work out in the middle of a relationship.
It’s ok to love yourself and accept whatever limitations you may feel that you have. Keep in mind most people have self esteem issues and body issues even when you wouldn’t think they might. Comparing to other people rarely makes us feel better about ourselves. We also put unrealistic expectations on ourself based o what we think is important to other people/society. Nobody is perfect so we can develop insecurities about someone discovering our “faults”. Mental health issues are incredibly common. What may be helpful to consider is that so many people are struggling and it may not show. My point is that you are not alone with any of your issues and the biggest obstacle that you will face is how you feel about yourself, not how someone else feels about you.

Take time to really embrace what is uniquely you and what you do really well. What makes you special. It’s easy to focus on what we think may be wrong with us and lose sight of what is right with us.

As far as sex goes, there is so much information out there now on how to do different techniques and improve skills. Obviously it’s easier when you have a way to actually practice these things on a person but you can educate yourself enough on anatomy and how a person’s body functions so that you can have an idea of what will/may go on when you do have sex. I HIGHLY recommend educating yourself on oral sex techniques. Oral can be a great tool during foreplay and also buy you time if you are getting too excited. So you can slow things down. The biggest part (usually, unless it’s just a purely sexual encounter with no strings attached) is connection. Take your time. Get to know the person and hopefully have some honest conversation about what they may like/enjoy and what you think you may like. Your first time doesn’t have to be traumatic or a disappointment. It’s important to have fun, enjoy yourself and do everything you can to help the other person to enjoy the experience too.
Hope that helps at all.
 

love2compare

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to put things straight:

i was always afraid that one significant other person would find my dick ugly and small and hurt my feelings.
this was holding me back to open up sexually. it took a general practitioner to ask me why i was still single and virgin at 27!

it's quite interesting for me to observe that a large penis doesn't automatically give a lot of confidence to fuck around like crazy!