Flashing a gay friend

[goffer009]

What was the point of doing that?

It's difficult for gay guys to keep straight friends because a lot of straight friends aren't comfortable around them. This was flat out gay. Very, very, gay.

Now he's wondering what the point of that all was and he's probably worried your mutual friend blabbed about him being gay and now he discovers not only are you not straight but you're hitting on him? Or are you gay baiting him so you'd have an excuse to beat the shit out of him or worse in your own home? This is a very real fear of gays because it happens. Often.

Don't think that just because he's gay he think's you're hot too. Contrary to popular belief, gay guys won't have sex with anything that has a dick and having sex with your friends is a really good way to fuck-up a friendship. Most gay guys go way out of their way to remove any trace of sexual attraction to their straight friends if only to prove a gay guy can be, "one of the guys," just like anyone else. It takes effort because he's always working to prove that he's your friend to be a friend, not a sex partner. The last thing he needed was this. It's like waving heroin in a recovering addict's face. Of course, all this assumes he's attracted to you, which he may not be at all.

This was not a good move. He needs an explanation once you've worked out in your own head what it was you wanted. I don't think you realized just what kind of position you've put him in.

Treat your friends better than that.

I agree with you 100%!!! He´s suppose to be a friend why would he treat him like that!! Very bad taste! IMHO.

 

[brieflover69]

Wow! I can't believe this has generated so much controversy questioning everything from my intentions to my sexuality to the real size of my dick.

Also, you guys that take my absence from the site as meaningful ought to know work has been hell lately, and I didn't get scared off -- I simply haven't logged in since that post.

Needless to say, I only skimmed most of your posts, but let me reply to some of your concerns.

1) am I gay?
I said I was straight in my post, and I identify as straight. I have fooled around twice with men before -- and it just didn't do it for me. I wanted to like it, really. And I liked getting my dick sucked by a dude -- a BJ is a BJ afterall. I just didn't like having to reciprocate. (didn't try anal -- it doesn;t appeal) I thought being bi would open the doors up to me for a lot more action (come on, it is easier for a gay guy to just get no strings attached sex if he wants it. Just checkout Craigslist). But, men just don't do it for me. I much prefer chicks. Sorry. I gave it my best shot.

2) why'd I flash this dude?
Well, I think of myself as an exhibitionist. I get off being nude in public -- I frequent nude beaches, hang out naked at home, freeballing in sweats and gym shorts so people can see my cock bounce, etc. Flashing straight guys doesn't do it for me though, since they don't want to see my junk. Flashing women and gay men turn me on.

3) did I fuck up this friendship?
I don't think so. After reading all of your comments, many of you seem to think that my friend will be confused, etc. That wasn't my intention. I get off on flashing, and since I found out he was gay, I figured he'd get off on seeing my dick. No harm, no foul. Guys should be able to hang out without clothes, and this was an instance of that. Did it turn me on? Yes. Did it turn him on? I don't know, but I think so.

If he thinks I came on to him, he can think that....but from his perspective, he doesn;t know I know he's gay. IF he thinks it was an invitation to fuck around, I will simply tell him no, but that it shouldnt affect our friendship. And, honestly, if I have more than a few beers, I just may fool around. The first two times didn't do it for me, but like they say, three times is a charm.

4) Does my willingness to perhaps fool around with a guy (if drunk and desperate) make me gay?
I don't think so; but you might. I think of gay as more of an identity. I don't really identify as a member of the LGBT community, since I can pass for straight, think of myself as straight, and the world treats me as straight. But, hell, if you want to call me gay, you can do so. It doesn't bother me (so long as you don;t do it when I'm making moves on a woman). But the argument of whether a man who has sex with a man on occasion is gay or not is one that has no answer.....


Any more questions?

 

[brieflover69]

PS: what does OP mean?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

PS: what does OP mean?

Opening post.

 

[Matthew]

PS: what does OP mean?

Original poster

 

[notsmallmatt]

wow, well.. that cleared things up.. a bit..

jason(waaay back at the first page) had a good point.. put very well...
but, after reading brieflovers response... its a point that probably only applies to... erm.. people of a.. more... defined... mindset...

i think brieflover and his buddies live in the new laidback world of... open boundaries.. lol

I think of gay as more of an identity. I don't really identify as a member of the LGBT community, since I can pass for straight, think of myself as straight, and the world treats me as straight. But, hell, if you want to call me gay, you can do so. It doesn't bother me (so long as you don;t do it when I'm making moves on a woman). But the argument of whether a man who has sex with a man on occasion is gay or not is one that has no answer.....

i wonder why i feel bad for agreeing with this??
all i know is that my friends inability to accept that im bi has ruined a few opportunities... screaming "hey faggot"(jokingly i should add) across a crowded bar... saying "i thought you were gay?" while im talking intimately to a girl(or attempting to)....

yeah... people create too many obstacles with labels and... yeah now im just rambling.

 

[HotBulge]

I would recommend reading the posts again with greater care, BF69.

• Several people have already stated that human sexuality runs a spectrum. "Gay" may be an LGBT label, but some of your actions show a homoerotic inclination, which is not just a label.
• Exhibitionism is understandable when boundaries are understood. Being nude in the locker room or on a nude beach or even briefly at home is understood. Your situation with your friend Dave (?), however, was sexually ambiguous and teasing. Maybe he liked it, maybe he didn't. Just consider his (im)position.

Wow! I can't believe this has generated so much controversy questioning everything from my intentions to my sexuality to the real size of my dick.


Needless to say, I only skimmed most of your posts, but let me reply to some of your concerns.

1) am I gay?
I said I was straight in my post, and I identify as straight. I have fooled around twice with men before -- and it just didn't do it for me....

2) why'd I flash this dude?
Well, I think of myself as an exhibitionist. ... Flashing women and gay men turn me on.

3) did I fuck up this friendship?
I don't think so. After reading all of your comments, many of you seem to think that my friend will be confused, etc. That wasn't my intention. I get off on flashing, and since I found out he was gay, I figured he'd get off on seeing my dick. No harm, no foul. ...


4) Does my willingness to perhaps fool around with a guy (if drunk and desperate) make me gay?
I don't think so; but you might. I think of gay as more of an identity. I don't really identify as a member of the LGBT community, since I can pass for straight, think of myself as straight, and the world treats me as straight. ....

Any more questions?

 

[curriedeggs]

Wow!

This sheds a whole new light on things. Thank you BL for your very candid response. I, for one, apologise for overlooking the possibiliy that you were simply too busy to get back to us.

Can you understand why this opened such a can of worms, though? The problem was that there was so much room for ambiguity in your original post that we couldn't help speculating on the a myriad of possibilities. If you have more time now. I think you should read the thread you started carefully. I'm sure it will fascinate you.

Wow! I can't believe this has generated so much controversy questioning everything from my intentions to my sexuality to the real size of my dick.

Also, you guys that take my absence from the site as meaningful ought to know work has been hell lately, and I didn't get scared off -- I simply haven't logged in since that post.

Needless to say, I only skimmed most of your posts, but let me reply to some of your concerns.

1) am I gay?
I said I was straight in my post, and I identify as straight. I have fooled around twice with men before -- and it just didn't do it for me. I wanted to like it, really. And I liked getting my dick sucked by a dude -- a BJ is a BJ afterall. I just didn't like having to reciprocate. (didn't try anal -- it doesn;t appeal) I thought being bi would open the doors up to me for a lot more action (come on, it is easier for a gay guy to just get no strings attached sex if he wants it. Just checkout Craigslist). But, men just don't do it for me. I much prefer chicks. Sorry. I gave it my best shot.

2) why'd I flash this dude?
Well, I think of myself as an exhibitionist. I get off being nude in public -- I frequent nude beaches, hang out naked at home, freeballing in sweats and gym shorts so people can see my cock bounce, etc. Flashing straight guys doesn't do it for me though, since they don't want to see my junk. Flashing women and gay men turn me on.

3) did I fuck up this friendship?
I don't think so. After reading all of your comments, many of you seem to think that my friend will be confused, etc. That wasn't my intention. I get off on flashing, and since I found out he was gay, I figured he'd get off on seeing my dick. No harm, no foul. Guys should be able to hang out without clothes, and this was an instance of that. Did it turn me on? Yes. Did it turn him on? I don't know, but I think so.

If he thinks I came on to him, he can think that....but from his perspective, he doesn;t know I know he's gay. IF he thinks it was an invitation to fuck around, I will simply tell him no, but that it shouldnt affect our friendship. And, honestly, if I have more than a few beers, I just may fool around. The first two times didn't do it for me, but like they say, three times is a charm.

4) Does my willingness to perhaps fool around with a guy (if drunk and desperate) make me gay?
I don't think so; but you might. I think of gay as more of an identity. I don't really identify as a member of the LGBT community, since I can pass for straight, think of myself as straight, and the world treats me as straight. But, hell, if you want to call me gay, you can do so. It doesn't bother me (so long as you don;t do it when I'm making moves on a woman). But the argument of whether a man who has sex with a man on occasion is gay or not is one that has no answer.....


Any more questions?

 

[davidjh7]

Since I don't know ALL the circumstances, I am not going to judge you. You seem to indicate your friend enjoyed your show. He may have. He may be confused by it. He may have felt really uncomfortable, and felt you were "baiting" him, trying to get him to come on to you, so you could have an excuse to beat the hell out of him, or kill him, and use the "gay fear" defence. I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but EXACTLY that kind of thing has happened, and many times. IF there had been some flirting or teasing back AND forth beforehand, where he indicated an attraction to you, you gace him a nice show, but raised his hopes. If he wasn;t attracted to you before, he may be now, and may have gotten mixed messages. Ultimately, you opened Pandora's box--it is YOUR responsibility to make good on it. You did this for selfish reasons, whether or not he get off on it, your motivation was selfish. Most motivations are, I know. If his friendship is valuable to you, you owe him an explanation, to clear up any possible confusion. If you don't care about him, you may take a "fuck it" attitude, and not give a damn. I don't know you, or the kind of person, or friend you are. But from your words, you indicate a selfish nature. I am guessing that you have gotten a lot of attention for your loks, or body, or dick, or money, or whatever it is you have going for you, and you have come to think of people's fawning attention as your right--they SHOULD be worshipping your ass. This is just my guess, based on your behavior, and what you have said, and my experience with similar types of people and their behavior. I may be totally wrong. But you caused the situation, and a decent friend would clean it up. You have to make your own choices, of course.

 

[Matthew]

Since you enjoy showing off for gay guys, how bout some pics?

 

[novice_btm]

Since you enjoy showing off for gay guys, how bout some pics?

This post is just one of the many reasons that I love Matthew. :wink:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

This post is just one of the many reasons that I love Matthew. :wink:

awwww I love him for his mind. Frank Burns, "Let me kiss your brain."

 

[2322]

i wonder why i feel bad for agreeing with this??
all i know is that my friends inability to accept that im bi has ruined a few opportunities... screaming "hey faggot"(jokingly i should add) across a crowded bar... saying "i thought you were gay?" while im talking intimately to a girl(or attempting to).

I think you feel bad because part of you thinks it's ok for that kind of behavior to be directed toward you. Sure we're still your friends, we're cool with you being gay, but you're now our gay friend and we will treat you like that. It's a dominance thing. They're the same people who say, ".... not that there's anything wrong with that," after the earlier part of the sentence was spent clearly stating the speaker does have a problem.

I don't believe it's done out of malice, many times it's a form of self-reassurance done, subconciously, as a way to say, "it's ok for you to be gay so long as you know I'm the dominant one here, I'm off limits." It's using humor as a way to release the sexual tension.

Talk to your friends. Tell them you don't appreciate those comments. If that fails, start doing it to them. See how they feel about it. If they're your friends, they'll get it and lay off.

 

[dreamer20]

Dave, is gay. Dave came out to him, but not yet to me.
Since finding out Dave is gay, I been trying to give him opportunities to see my dick. Yesterday I purposely spilled beer on my jeans and shirt. I asked him if it was cool if I just took them off. He seemed nervous, but said yeah.
< brieflover unexpectedly takes everything off>
He nearly choked on his beer when he saw my dick.

We both laughed.

For some reason though, showing off my dick like that to a friend I know now wants to see it got me so pumped. As soon as he left, I jacked off twice!

brieflover you assumed that because your friend is gay that he wanted to see your dick. You made him nervous. Then you disrobed completely and caused him to choke. His laugh quite likely was a nervous one as well. What if he now feels that he has a greenlight to try something sexual with you because of your actions and does? I strongly urge you to talk to him in confidence about your fetish and see if he is OK with indulging it. That way you will clear up any confusion he has regarding your behaviour and he will know if he should get nude too to enjoy the next show.

 

[notsmallmatt]

I think you feel bad because part of you thinks it's ok for that kind of behavior to be directed toward you. Sure we're still your friends, we're cool with you being gay, but you're now our gay friend and we will treat you like that. It's a dominance thing. They're the same people who say, ".... not that there's anything wrong with that," after the earlier part of the sentence was spent clearly stating the speaker does have a problem.

I don't believe it's done out of malice, many times it's a form of self-reassurance done, subconciously, as a way to say, "it's ok for you to be gay so long as you know I'm the dominant one here, I'm off limits." It's using humor as a way to release the sexual tension.

Talk to your friends. Tell them you don't appreciate those comments. If that fails, start doing it to them. See how they feel about it. If they're your friends, they'll get it and lay off.

no.. i feel bad(not really, it was just me being coy) because of the current trend of pc bullshit about what it means to be gay/bi.
im sure what you said may be true for a great many of gay-straight friendships.. but it has absolutely zero relevance to me and mine(for one thing im not freaking gay)... i dont stand for that crap.. i understand motivation and true intentions better than anything... my friends are just oblivious and ignorant... but im ok with that.
and if anyone has dominance.. its me.

well.. actually it would be my friend justin... but only because i allow him to dominate me.. lofl...
he once told me he was actually terrified of me.. LOL!

 

[dreamer20]

Where are you brieflover69? I'm ready to be flashed.:smile:

 

[Duane.Ament]

There was a guy in my dorm freshman year who we all thought was gay (and, indeed, he later came out after graduation). I used to do stuff like the original post. I just enjoyed watching him get hot-and-bothered... I knew he wanted my cock, but he was afraid to do anything. Mean? Maybe...but it was fun when I was 19!

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

Well, i wasn't aware he was gay...

We were talking about size and he asked mine, at the answer he said he did not believe me: i don't know why, but i asked him wether he wanted a proof, and at the positive answer, i showed off.

Afterwards he said me he was gay, and i felt guilty.

 

[bigbadger]

I am glad that I found this post. I agree with many of the things said and shared here. I hope to the OP and his buddy, both of you can work things out and hopefully remain friends. If because of your shortsighted and probably immature actions, then it is probably more your loss than his. While you may think what you did was harmless, it probably was not. I hope you can take your friends view and realize this.
I also want to address another comment the OP made. Someone else stated this very fact, and I could not agree with it more. Just because your friend, or any friend, is gay, does not mean that he automatically wants to see your dick and wants to sleep with you. It almost seems like your the one who wants him to see your dick. I actually now consider myself more gay than strait. But in no way, shape, means, or form do I want to see any of my strait friends naked or see their dicks. I enjoy our friendships and would like to keep them that way. I have no intention or desire of anything ever happening with one of us. I would not want to ruin any perfectly good friendships. To just assume your friend wants to see your dick because he is gay is not only wrong, but pretty darn dumb if you ask me. Sorry to dissappoint any strait guys out there, but just because I am gay/bi does not mean that I am into you or want you. That is as silly as assuming every strait women wants you as well. And I hope you do not assume this, as you do about gay men. And if you learn nothing Breiflover69, please remember this.

Thank you,
Bigbadger

 

[squirt]

I think our friend brieflover69 might be an exhibitionist. It is not the gender or orientation of the voyeur, but the act of being watched that gets him off. I think this is what he needs to explore, and like many have suggested, he can start by posting here. I know I get instantly hard when I read comments on my pics.