Follow up: Son's Curiousity

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Sean O., Jan 2, 2006.

  1. Sean O.

    Sean O. New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2005
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    Hey guys - about a month ago I posted a message about my son's recent habit of staring at me in the showers. A few of you had asked how things were going. It had been status quo over the last few weeks - I basically left the situation alone, let him look and didn't say anything. Plus with the holidays, we only worked out together a few times over the last 4-5 weeks. But a few days ago, I finally got him to open up.

    Todd (my son) has been using an electric razor with the little bit of peach fuzz growing on his face. He had asked me to teach him how to use a razor blade, so I told him we could do that while he was off from school and I was off from work this week. We made plans for him to come in to the master bathroom Wednesday morning, as my wife and daughter would be out of the house and we could have some one on one time. I was debating whether to do the lesson au natural, as it might provide us the opportunity to discuss his curiousity and whatever questions he was having. I was really uncomfortable with the idea as the day approached - it just felt very strange to me - but that morning I was more at ease and it seemed the right thing to do, so what the hell. I toweled off after my shower and hung the towel back up before my shave.

    So I gave him his shaving lesson, and as I expected his attention was split between my instructions and my penis. When I finished up, I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to talk about. He hesitated, and said no. I told him I noticed he was still curious about my penis, and that it's perfectly normal to be curious and want to look at it, and that if he did have questions he could ask me. More hesitation, and then the questions finally started.

    The first thing he wanted to know was how big I was. I started to preface my remarks by saying that size doesn't really matter. His response: "Dad, I think you're the only one who believes that." I had to laugh, which I think cut the tension and put us both at ease. When I told him I was about five inches, he said he thought so. Apparently, while he was looking in the showers, he was measuring my penis against the tiles, then measured his hand against the tiles to figure out how big I was. That gave me a laugh as well - clever young man. He was confused though, because he thought I was big compared to most of the adults he's seen in the locker room, but his friends at school all claim their father's are in the 6"-7" range. I explained that his friends or their father's might be exaggerating because only a small number of men are that size. (Unless the men in our school district are the same guys I've seen in the photo galleries here...) He asked about my erection size (to use his word, "boner") and the obvious questions about whether he would grow to be my size as well.

    We continued to talk, and while we had already had "the talk" a few years ago, he had some follow ups, especially on the topic of masturbation. While he likes to do it, he always feels silly when he does it. So I told him, yes, dad still does it too, and yeah, maybe it is a little silly, but it's fun, so who cares. He laughed at that one.

    Anyway, we had a great talk, probably for close to an hour. When we went to the gym this afternoon, as we undressed by our locker he whispered that he wouldn't look at me today because he saw enough of me naked on Wednesday! It's great to have a son who can make me laugh.

    Thanks to everyone who offered advice on this topic, and Happy New Year!
     
  2. rawbone8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    2,864
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto (ON, CA)
    well handled. sounds like an enviable level of trust and communication between you guys.

    kudos
     
  3. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2005
    Messages:
    736
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Thanks for the update.
    It must be very frustrating trying to be a good parent.
    I think that you've layed a good foundation of trust that should benefit both of you. Nice work.:)
    I had no real relationship with my father even though we lived in the same house.
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    What an awesome story, Sean O. I am glad that you found a way to handle your son's curiosity. Very heartwarming. Thanks for sharing.
     
  5. Likesembig

    Likesembig Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco
    That conversation will be something your son will remember always.

    A+ for you Pops
     
  6. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    He'll not only remember it, he'll very likely use what he's learned with his own son(s).

    Good work, dad. Now keep that door open so he'll feel free to come back when he encounters new things - for he surely will. When appropriate, ask him how things are going. You and Todd are laying the foundation for a long life of respect and love.
     
  7. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1
    good job ... very good job. i hope he continues to learn more things from you.
     
  8. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    60
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    There is usually a reason for curiosity. To come out of the shower and totally be in the buff for an hour with your son satisfied his curisoity. He wanted to know your size and if was going to compare. He now knows a lot of talk is just talk. He is secure in what size he will be and he is secure in masturbating when he needs to which any urologist will tell you guys should do.

    Wonderul ending. I just wish some of the guys who are paranoid beyond measure at seeing or being seen by their father or men of his age would read this wonderful story.

    The penis really isn't evil. Some guys who own one are. That is a different story. LOL

    You played it right. Congrats to you and even more congrats to your son.
     
  9. NorthernStar

    NorthernStar New Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Wisconsin, USA
    You did a great job, I have worked in pediatrics and it's really important that these kids learn the right way and you did a fantastic job. Keep us posted with all that continues.

    -Corey
     
  10. B_Danceswithlamps

    B_Danceswithlamps New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2005
    Messages:
    554
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Traveling!
    Its gret that you are able to communicate with him like that!

    You got brownie points in heaven (no offence if you aren't into religion/or are a different one :D ;) )
     
  11. donnionni

    donnionni New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    1
    Excellent Job! It is great to hear about a father who is paying attention to his growing childs needs. You definetly are laying the foundation to a wonderful relationship in the future.

    I wish my dad was more open like that. The only thing he ever said to me about sex was if I needed condoms he would buy them for me. I guess that was his attempt of being helpful!!!
     
  12. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    Sean, congratulations! Your son is a very lucky guy. Your experience so reminds me of my father, and how much I miss him, still. And I am 51. You are raising what will be, a remarkable man. Don't ever, let anything screw up your relationship.
     
  13. panthera

    panthera New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2005
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Germany
    Sean O, that was great. The world needs more dads like you!
     
  14. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    941
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The big AK
    Well done Sean...and thanks for the update so many ppl never update on what they posted about in the beginging.
     
  15. marklovesportland

    marklovesportland New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Your son's reaction is as it should be. I think that the reason that men (speaking generally) have a penis fixation is because penises are kept hidden, taboo to see or talk about; yet, when after you "see it", the interest quickly fades... as it should be.

     
  16. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    Darn! I should have been so lucky to have had a dad like you. Anyways super job man. You not only noticed what was going on but put your own comfort aside to take care of your son. You are so blessed to have such a relationship. Keep it up.
     
  17. planecrash

    planecrash New Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2006
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    :wtf1:I'm shocked at the response. Am I the only one that thinks this is a bit weird? If my dad did this I would have run from the room, and I'm glad he never did. and I'm definitely not strutting around nude in front of my kid so he can check out my cock, I don't care how curious he is. If he wants to ask me a question I'm ok with that, but this approach is in no way a proper way to deal with whatever problem he is having.

    Did you ask a professional on this, or was your only source of advice the prople here???
     
  18. kurios

    kurios Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2003
    Messages:
    978
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Pls put your puritanical shock on a shelf where it can gather dust!

    It is this kind of tight-assed thinking that results in many of our unecessarily confused younger people. Dealing with issues of obvious concern in a straightforward and practical way is the answer.
    This Dad was as open as he expected his son to be.
    The need wasnt for a theoretical discussion and drawings when the real point of discussion was standing (or more aptly hanging ) right there.
    Bravo for Dad
     
  19. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    Planecrash, would you have rather that he found out from the old pervert on the corner?
     
  20. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1
    I'm sure your not, but different people have different ways of handling these sort of situations. You wouldn't handle it this way - and that's fantastic and all, but Sean O. decided he would, and everything turned out alright.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted