I think I always appreciated men, but I only put a name to it by the time I was 14-15, but looking back, I can 100% tell I've felt this way since I was a child, other kids started calling me gay when I was 10, I didn't even know what that meant, and I didn't feel anything sexual toward them, I just liked looking at them, I just well I was a boy, who fancied boys, a boy who didn't know what was happening.
When I was 13 I remember having the biggest crush on a 16-17 years old random guy from my school, I'd just look at him, and I didn't even know myself as gay, I was so unaware of it, it's like I didn't know sex existed, even thought I had already discovered masturbation, i just felt like looking at him, and I noticed his body...
I think I only woke up to the reality that I was gay when I was 15, before that... I felt gay, but I didn't know that people could be gay, now I don't care about what I am, but if I had to choose, I'd remain gay, I just know I wanna share a life with a fun guy, who has a nice job, like the one I hope to have after I'm done with college, who likes pets, traveling, nice clothes, good food, sex and I want him to tell me he loves me at least 3 times a day, and I wanna take care of him as best as I possible can, for me that's not about being gay or straight or waterer, it's about wanting to be happy and making someone happy, I realized that was more important than a label or wanting sex by the time I was 19, I'm almost 21, and by the time I turn 30, I wanna live like a married man, married or not.
This is amazing man! So awesome and from the heart. I need a guy like that! Props to you!