for gay men: what about age differences?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_thickjohnny, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    2,874
    Likes Received:
    42
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta GA
    Just curious to know how many guys out there are attracted either to older guys (if you're younger) or younger guys, if you're older. I use to go for guys my own age but as I got older my tastes didn't change. I stopped at the 20 somethings and never had an attraction for older guys.

    Am I the only guy with this so called problem? Is it a problem? How do you feel when you see a younger guy with a daddy type? My BF of 3 years is 23 and I'm 52. He chased me until I caved. I was looking more for 25 to 35 until he came along. At first he told me he was older but then I found out he was 20 (he does look about 25ish).

    What about you younger guys?
     
  2. luv2watchdick

    luv2watchdick Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2008
    Messages:
    177
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Orleans (LA, US)
    I've always been attracted to older, just can't help it :) If I can remember the year a guy was born..I wig out lol
     
  3. plumbr

    plumbr Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York, New York
    I do find older men attractive in many ways. Older men are more modest and respectful whereas my peers are all about partying and getting wasted. Though I would take a younger guy any day, I wouldn't rule out older men. A old man who takes care of himself physically and emotionally is a great way to start.
     
  4. meegsatori

    meegsatori New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    Messages:
    22
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham
    When I was younger I loved older guys, My last partner of 3 1/2 years was 10 years older than me, Allthough it was good to begin with it didnt take long for the cracks to begin to show. Being considerably younger can be a problem especially when they have the "Been there, Done that" attitude. I never go out to pull if I'm out with friends then I stay with them and usually stay that way.
    The problem I found with older guys is you get judged by their standards and they expect you will behave the way they did back in the day,
    Now I'm 25 I go for lads my own age but am really not into guys under 20. I prefer guys to have some idea what direction their lives will go in, Allthough saying that even older guys dont always have an idea what they want from life too.

    I still think age doesnt matter if you have the right chemistry and are truly compatable. But I think as I'm getting older I'm starting to understand what I'm ultimately looking for.
     
  5. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    you were early 20's he was early 30's....lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll come back when you hit 40. when i was in my 20's i like them in their 40's and i still like em their 40's i think i need to move on.
     
  6. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I don't have ageism. I like men. Young. Old. I just don't have as much trust in men like I used to. Maybe there will be a man that will restore that trust. I certainly hope so. I would be a bit happier.
     
  7. boomboompow

    boomboompow New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2009
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nc
    i can date guys my age, but i really try to go for a couple years older - at least. they are more mature and know what they want.
     
  8. thadjock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,675
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    271
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA CA USA
    i dont' use age as a guide for anything, becuz you can have two people the same age who are a decade (OR MORE) apart mentally.

    as far as sex goes, i've had great times with partners older and younger, but in relationships i think if there's a HUGE difference, you are adding potential stress points.

    not saying it's doomed, just that you'll inevitably have some other issues to deal with, than 2 guys at basically the same point in their lives, mentally and career path, and physically, experiencing life together. u naturally have more stuff in the common barrel, than a 50 yo and a 20 yo would have.

    to the original question: right now i'm going after a dude who's 3 yrs older. he's hot but doesn't know it, he's smart and a good listener, and his voice makes me hard. :redface:
     
    #8 thadjock, Apr 2, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2009
  9. D_Diesel Oyl

    D_Diesel Oyl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    6
    young and muscled as possible
     
  10. MrToolhung

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I have always went for guys that are older than myself usually about 10 years older than me. My partner is only 2 yrs older than me but we have been together for 17 yrs now. We met when I was still in High School and he was in University. Good times!
     
  11. Torque8

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    572
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SugarLand
    Verified:
    Photo
    Agree, even tho I'm str8 and a strict top....except for me, it's reversed....heavily muscled submissive and younger than me
     
    #11 Torque8, Apr 2, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2009
  12. D_Rod Staffinbone

    D_Rod Staffinbone Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    858
    Likes Received:
    0
    always was mainly attracted to those about my age until a guy 10+ years younger came along a few years back. after 40 i stopped looking to older, though if the right guy came along...

    have been w/ a couple of guys mid to late 20s in the past year, and in both of those cases they initiated it, but i did follow through, and the emotional differences were vast.

    i feel that mid-30s is best for me (and them) right now. i've seen some guys well into their 40s that are still really hot.
     
    #12 D_Rod Staffinbone, Apr 2, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2009
  13. inwait8

    inwait8 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Messages:
    541
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    I tend to go for guys older than myself. Originally I felt it was because of the drama that is normally involved in a young (-22yo) relationship, but having passed that age group I now know that it is just what I am into.

    It's not carved in stone... just what I have experienced.
     
  14. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2006
    Messages:
    2,116
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    The issue of age differences is more a mental issue than a physical one. I was "hatched" in 1953 and my other-half came into this world 11 years later.

    The main problem in vast age differences are the differences in life-experience. I remember where I was when John Kennedy was gunned down in Texas. I remember the landing of Apollo 11 on the moon and Armstrong's walk on the moon. I remember the Watts riots, Stonewall and the killing of Harvey Milk by Dan White.

    My other-half is well educated and a studied person. Our relationship works because he is one who loves learning and never had the mentality of "party animal" in a manner that would create a disagreement. We have endured many hard times together and the harder things have been the more we as partners love and support each other.

    I have seen many relationships with vast age differences work and I have seen many with what should have been by time at least identical life experiences fail.

    There is no one set rule and it will have success or failure depending completely on the individuals involved.
     
  15. midlifebear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    5,908
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nevada, Buenos Aires, and Barçelona
    There's about a 14 year difference in age between The Squeeze and me. I just turned 59 (which I keep posting everywhere, because I'm proud to have made it to 59, healthy, reasonably buffed and muscled, and able to keep up with people much younger than me, especially high-altitude hiking and cross-country skiing). The Squeeze came on to me over 8 years ago (9 years ago?) and he's the first man younger than me with whom I've had a committed relationship. I tend to go for men my own age. Yes, we still exist. But I love The Squeeze and to my continuous surprise, he loves me. Although he's a bit too overprotective of me. Then again, he's Latino.

    Even though we're married, we still have the occasional forays with one, two or more people (always together). And I've had a bunch of 19-22 year-olds so fascinated with my dick they've worked their way into our little group gropes to try me on for size. It's rather obvious they aren't interested in me, just my dick. So, as long as I have The Squeeze close by to play tongue hockey with, I can eventually blast a load up those tender tight asses (actually, they've rarely been tight). Without The Squeeze I tend to lose interest and go limp in search of sexual release with someone in the same meat pile closer to my own age.

    At my age, me fucking a 20 year-old is like me being a chicken queen or pedophile. Not interested.
     
    #15 midlifebear, Apr 2, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2009
  16. morzan

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2009
    Messages:
    17
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Verified:
    Photo
    I love older guys. I am 18 almost 19 and would loove to meet up with guys that are 40+ =)
     
  17. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I have always been the "younger" guy. I have always been more attracted to older men (although a hot muscle cub/pup gets my attention always). I think the maturity has to do with attitude and perspective and is key for me. Age is just a number as long as no laws are broken. My hubby is 10 years older than am I and I know people for whom the span is more like yours. If it works, it works. Period.

    Daddies and DaddyBears ROCK.

    Yup.
     
  18. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    2,874
    Likes Received:
    42
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta GA
    Thanks for all the perspectives. Yes, we have a 30 year difference but he's definitely an old soul, very mature, settled and open to the age difference. He told me that he's always looked at older men since he was a boy. His first experience was when he was 16 with a guy who was 40. He said the guy made him crazy. Just the site of gray hair, a belly, the experiences makes him horny. I can tell you that he gets hard if I rub his back or just cuddle next to him before sleeping. At 52 I'm a bit slower in reaction time but he does it to me as well. Thanks again for the comments! I don't feel like a loner anymore!!
     
  19. B_fullup8

    B_fullup8 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm 20, I have my 'type' I go for. If you fit that type and happen to be in the higher end of the age range, I find you even more sexy than someone my own age.
    I love the silver hair in the stubble and chest hair, etc.
     
  20. MH07

    MH07 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    438
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Houston
    Where are all of you younger guys who like older men? When I go out in Houston, all I find are guys who think 30 is "old".

    I'm like one of the other posters above, I liked 20-something guys when I was one, and I still like 'em now that I'm 52, my hair is silvering, and my chest hair is coming in gray.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted