For The 30 Main Members Here

naughty

Sexy Member
Joined
May 21, 2004
Posts
11,232
Media
0
Likes
38
Points
258
Location
Workin' up a good pot of mad!
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Hi,

I have spent a great deal of energy restraining myself from commenting on this thread. As a result of this firestorm, I went back and read some of Search4BP's posts. Unfortunately, they only confirmed my initial impression. I fully understand what it feels like to try to find one's place in a large online group, it can be daunting to say the least. But I do know that regardless of one's age, religion, race, creed, color, education, etc. there are certain universal no no's. It is always prudent to stand back and take one's time to assess the lay of the land so to speak. Only then and with caution should one jump in with both feet. Search entered the scene with insults , anger, arrogance, elitism, and generalizations and exited the same way. I can remember attempting to say calming things to perhaps stem the tide, but alas they fell on deaf ears.
This is a large board , there are many intelligent, attractive , and witty individuals who interact here. Each one in his or her turn had to make an entrance and find a way to create their own unique niche. Life can be unfair. Everyone is not going to love everyone else. But we do need to at least attempt to interact with a modicum of graciousness. When one enters a room wearing a t-shirt which states clearly " Does not play well with others" then there should be no surprise concerning the outcome.


Naughty
 

Chuck64

Experimental Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Posts
1,578
Media
0
Likes
13
Points
508
Location
Rural Texas
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
naughty said:
When one enters a room wearing a t-shirt which states clearly " Does not play well with others" then there should be no surprise concerning the outcome.

* What about one that says "Eats the red crayons" ??? *
 

D_Herin_Ghan

Account Disabled
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Posts
671
Media
0
Likes
4
Points
163
Sexuality
No Response
While I may not be one of the 30 main members you describe, I know how it works with message boards. You gain your stripes with time and intelligence. I have already exchanged PM's with some very astute and intelligent people here. Maybe it is a bit like a high school, but as the new kid...it takes time to make friends.
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
130
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
naughty said:
Hi,

When one enters a room wearing a t-shirt which states clearly " Does not play well with others" then there should be no surprise concerning the outcome.


Naughty

I entirely agree. But I simply saw a person with t-shirt that said "this is who I am". I think, much as she was not your taste, it was fairer than those who come at another poster wearing no t-shirt simply implying their dismissiveness. Personally, I've always preferred the direct approach. That gives the individual's audience the option of hitting the ignore feature or by-passing her posts.

I think (though she wasn't particularly my "cup of tea" either) it's damned easy to jump on the "don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass.." bandwagon and for my part I'll have none of it. The hew and cry on this thread in that regard is deafening. Yeowtch.

At least in Judith's case we knew what she was about from the outset.


Stronzo
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
130
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
LINittanyLion said:
While I may not be one of the 30 main members you describe, I know how it works with message boards. You gain your stripes with time and intelligence. I have already exchanged PM's with some very astute and intelligent people here. Maybe it is a bit like a high school, but as the new kid...it takes time to make friends.

I'm with you there Lion.

I take sort of a rebel's pride in not being among the referenced thirty. No question, I "ain't" part of that group.:cool:

It does take time to make friends and I am very pleased to tell you I've made at least two good ones with whom I have daily contact both here and in e-mail. For a message board that says good things.

But specifically in reference to the author of this thread, I think there's always room to give someone the benefit of the doubt especially when she's just moved to this school district from another country and (Mexico in Judith's case) and doesn't claim English as her first language.
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
130
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Webster said:
__________________________________

Thanks Stronzo for yet another inciteful and compassionate post.


I feel sorry for the people who struggle to "fit in" or "belong", marveling at the people who make it look so easy.
Judith's snide exit post was an obvious expression of that frustration.

edit: I just went back and read through some of Judith's posts. She does tend to rant....

You are, in my opinion Webster, one of the kindest individuals in here. Truthfully, I didn't much care for her manner either. I just don't like the lynching mentality. Don't like it when I witness in the "real world" and it's no more attractive on a message board.

Thanks for your kind words.

R.
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
130
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
BronxBombshell said:
In fact, most of what I wrote was an answer to Lex's question- the one which prompted you to mention me in the first place.

Oh okay. I hadn't seen you mention Lex, hence my confusion. And yes, his was my point of reference.

Thanks Bronxy.
 

naughty

Sexy Member
Joined
May 21, 2004
Posts
11,232
Media
0
Likes
38
Points
258
Location
Workin' up a good pot of mad!
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Stronzo,

I think everyone needs a champion and I thank you for attempting to help us see Judith from another perspective. I am not jumping on a bandwagon here. I felt the funk. Plain and simple. Because this is a board where we are all entitled to comment it may seem as though there is a bandwagon when more than one person agrees. However, if you look back over the comments you will see that there are a number of very kind, concilliatory individuals who have offered the wisdom of their experience in an attempt to reconcile Judith to the board.

Naughty
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
130
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Naughty,

I was aware of your intent. You and I see things differently in this thing. I never saw anyone reach out to the woman (including me) prior to her rather hysterical departure thread. It's to that end I've addressed my concerns. In the future I'll make a better effort to those who make an effort toward me.

She did and I failed to respond.

Thanks, Stronzo
 

Webster

Just Browsing
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Posts
686
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
161
Sexuality
No Response
Stronzo said:
You are, in my opinion Webster, one of the kindest individuals in here.
_______________________________-

Required reading for all LPSG members./\
___________________________________

Stronzo, dear,
Everybody needs a kind word now and then and you made my day.
Hugs.
 

dolf250

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2005
Posts
769
Media
0
Likes
26
Points
238
Age
34
Location
The Great White North
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Wow, I am now inclined to quote a lesser known member of this community. Of course, not being in the elite 30 it will have no effect and this thread will die. Part of me understands where she is coming from. I know that most people need some type of feedback to feel that their post got the “fair” attention it undoubtedly deserved. I know I have posted a few quirky or thoughtful things that I thought might get a little discussion. But alas, none of the “elite 30” paid attention, so it fell flat. Of course, in retrospect, none of the other thousands of members (including Judith) paid any attention either. Either what I had to say was not provoking enough to elicit a response or people read it, considered responding and chose not to. So, I guess it was a wate of time posting and perhaps I should ask the moderators to delete my account.
***edit: please read the last paragraph with the touch of sarcasim with which it was written***
If you are still floating out there Judith you may notice that your introduction page had 2 pages of replies and welcomes. Your exit page has 5 (probably because the elite have weighted in on the issue- or because it took on it’s own life and you started a topic that has caught people’s attention.) I exist on this board by my own decision. I will post what I feel and do not expect anybody to necessarily agree, disagree, quote it or respond to what I type. I exist in my own little space (as does everybody on the net) and appreciate the other posters weather they pay attention to lowly, little old me or not. If you stuck around you may have found that you got to know a few of us who are not amongst the “elite” a little better, and, unless this is high school all over again, that attention may have sufficed. Judging by your reaction to this board you were not content with the company of other “geeks,” “outcasts,” or “misfits” such as myself and instead chose to sulk because you were not welcome in the company of the “popular elite” of your school. Life will only get rougher unless you chose to claim you space and get flexible enough to travel in any circle be it the “brains,” “jocks,” and yes, even the “popular” group.
 

windtalkerways

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Posts
2,057
Media
0
Likes
12
Points
183
Location
Canada
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Yes, I can see your point entirely Dolf.

People can/do post insightful thoughts
that often do get glossed over at times
in the general melée and hubbub of a busy
posting board but that is one of the very
attractions of this site.

I belong to three different sites that used
to be quite busy but their popularity fell
off for one reason or another. If you go
there once a week it's enough to get caught
up, yet I still do because the people who are
left still hold my interest.

So even though people...and I don't mean
you sweetie, just anyone in general, might
crib that their posts are not responded to,
I think it's the 'energy' of the people that
were being criticized, that keep the site
fresh and moving along.
 

steve2727

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2006
Posts
324
Media
0
Likes
184
Points
263
Location
Galway (Connaught, Ireland)
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
lol, forums never change, I've been on a few and regardless of the subject there are a lot of things that are the same about all of them. In my experience, forums that have a core of very regular posters and then a lot of less regular posters tend to be the best ones.

The only other 2 types I've encountered are ones where you can almost see the tumbleweed blowing between the 2 threads on there - basically a waste of time posting on them, or ones that are huge and everyone is pretty much unknown to each other, these have a tendency to be troll/flame pits, because trolls can actually cause trouble, unlike here where they'll be shot down pretty quickly by one of the regular posters or mods.


'I'm leaving!!' posts are a common theme to all the forums I've spent any time on, this probably counts amongst one of the better ones because at least there was some thought put into it, and it's provoked some real discussion.

A cut above the more common 'Ur all a bunch of sad nerdz and I'm leavin because I'm cool and have a life' followed by 20 'Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!' replies...