For the guys, Would you be an in open relationship?

[FuzzyKen]

Open relationships require a number of compromises that don't work for me personally. I had my time screwing anything that walked for decades. To me that was about as open as one could get. I was taught about this in a way I will never forget watching two friends die of complications from HIV. Their lives toward the end was a living hell as one passed first in 1992 and the second one at the hands of incompetent medicine in 1996. Before that time I would have given this board a very different answer than now. I have my moments that I see something that I would like to "sample" like everyone else, but, love and a declared marriage or relationship has to mean something.

When we were first together the rule was that we could do anything we wanted that was not stupid if we were in a gay bar or at some community event that permitted it. What we could not do was to share a bed with another person with our clothing off. If some dude gave me a kiss with some tongue I did not really consider that out and out sex. If that same person started trying to rip of clothing that was different.

Over time the interest in this kind of activity wained and we simply have settled for each other on every level now for more than a decade. It is just a great deal easier.

 

[Matt37]

I am actually in one now, and we've had our relationship configured that way for most of our 20+ years together. I spend a good bit of time traveling for work, and my wife is bisexual and likes to play with women. So early on we just agreed that so long as we were safe about everything, we could play with other people. We've both been honest with each other about what (who? lol) we're doing, and everything has been fine really.

 

[v32bone]

I've been in 3 simultaneous open relationships, or more precisely polyamorous relationships for the past few years now. One of the women knows the other two personally and has slept with me and each of the other women in threesome format. She also lives full-time in a lesbian relationship. They all obviously know about my relations with each of them and approve. It is just stunning to sleep with two people at the same time who you love and who love you. All three women have primary partners...two are married and their hubbies know about me, in fact one of the women I am one of three partners she has. These are not just sex relationships but sharing, supportive, honest and committed relationships. I am the only one of the four of us who dates outside of our poly circles which they are also cool with, all hoping I will also find a primary relationship as well. It's very odd and I am realistic enough to know that it may be very difficult to find someone willing to accept this lifestyle but if I do and need to be monogamous with a new, very special partner, my relationship with my three partners will no doubt change. My love for them won't nor they for me. I feel very blessed and in the best of all worlds will take these new communication and relationship skills and make the best of whatever new relationships come my way. Hopefully, we will all be partners for a long time.