For The Married Bi Guys...

NautiRogue

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My wife and I are both bi. We're both out to most of our friends because most of our friends are lifestyle. I'm more hesitant to come out to coworkers, family, and vanilla friends because of what I kind of consider to be the next logical step in their assumption regarding us.

If I tell a coworker or a vanilla friend that I'm bi, they know that I'm married. Do they think that I'm bi but not getting any bi sex because I'm married? Do they think that I'm going behind my wife's back to get cock? Or do they correctly assume that my wife and I are consensually non-monogamous and that we have sex with others (both hetero and bi) together and separately with each other's permission? The truth is that we swing bi.

Honestly, it's kind of my thought that it's none of their business, but if I'm out as a bi guy I'd really prefer for others not to be thinking that I'm cheating on my wife. But that then opens up a whole new can of worms. For me, coming out as bi logically and naturally leads to coming out as a swinger. Is it worse in society's opinion these days to be a bi guy or to be a swinger? And is a bi male swinger the worst of all?

Any thoughts? Does anyone else have any experience with this?
 

marriedasian

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i think you need to ask yourself why it matters that other people know about your sexual orientation? what gain will that give you? as you said, it's none of their business and who cares what other may think about you anyways.

unless there is an inherent gain from you letting people in your life know, i would say just keep it to yourself. if you are already enjoying your sexual orientation openly within your own personal life, why broadcast it or make it public?

look at it this way... if you were a millionaire or billionaire... why would you feel the need to tell everyone that you are? not only that but then you would stress over if anyone would look at you differently because you have more money than them... if your life is good as it is then just keep your money in the bank and continue life as normal.
 

KuronoB

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Coming out as bi is perfectly fine. As an out gay guy, I can understand why you'd want to be honest with your coworkers and vanilla friends. However, you don't need to tell them about your non-monogamous swinger lifestyle; that is none of their business, as you correctly wonder. Saying that you're bi is fine; but talking about your sex life is not something you need to (or should do) with your coworkers and friends you aren't close with. Yes, it is possible that they may wonder if you're cheating on your wife, but that's not something you can really control, and if they're not important people to you, their opinions don't matter.