For those women who were on the pill and then stopped using it...

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

What was it like?

My girlfriend was really horney for a little while.

But now because of school, finals, and work she has been totally stressed out and not too interested in sex.

She keeps on thinking she is pregnant. She has nausea. She also seems to get headaches more often now.

She took one of those home pregnancy tests yesterday. And it was negative.

She is 33 by the way, and I guess her clock is ticking.

I think she is really wanting to have kids soon.

Did getting off the pill give you headaches and nausea?

Thanks!

 

[Ethyl]

How long has it been since she stopped taking the pill? Women have to give their bodies anywhere from 3-6 months to adjust to changes after stopping the pill. Small to drastic drops in sexual desire is one of the most common side effects of taking the pill. Not surprising that she would feel a sudden surge of desire after stopping. Again, her body is probably still adjusting to the change. Give her time. I stopped after taking it on and off (mostly on) for years because I felt my body needed an extended break. After 4 months, I had regular menstrual cycles again and was back to "normal". No nausea but my seasonal allergies made for a few rip-roaring headaches. They went away soon enough.

Biological clock ticking? At 33? Unless she's had previous gynecological problems I don't see how 33 is a ripe old age for childbearing? Unless you mean she's bound and determined to have children now...

 

[dolfette]

it's a huge change in her body chemistry.
yeah, it can take months to get back to normal. and the irregular cycle & pukiness can make a girl paranoid.
i took a few months to adjust. hormonal birth control sucks.

ps. stfu with the tick tock stuff. bloody insulting to assume that :smile:

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Ive been on the pill for the better part of 15 years. If i dont take it i have horrible headaches and menstrual issues. I tried not taking it recently when i found out it can contribute to high blood pressure but the headaches were daily and wearing the hell out of me.

As far as sex drive goes, the only thing that makes my sex drive go down is about 20 hours of stress in a day with little sleep. That would be yesterday....

Also if your girlfriend is going off the pill and you have no idea if she wants kids or not right now, i'd be keeping my dick in my pants until i found out what the plan is and if i wanted to be a part of it or not.

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

No, did not have headaches, etc. when I went off the pill - was on it for 12 years.
Had my first baby at 35 and last at 42. Had side effects from menopause though.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Your posting style is hard to read. Please write in paragraphs. Nausea and headaches sound like pregnancy to me.

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

^^^Oh... my apologies. I do try NOT to be verbose when I write. I was in the military, so I am used to writing in what is called a "bullet point" format... just quick little blurbs to get one, singular point across.

mercurialbliss wrote:

Biological clock ticking? At 33? Unless she's had previous gynecological problems I don't see how 33 is a ripe old age for childbearing? Unless you mean she's bound and determined to have children now...

She is currently in school for medical type stuff. I am thinking that the medical/academia community might hype up the having a baby after 35 = Down's Syndrome thing.

Yeah, I had a step brother who got a gal pregnant and I think she gave birth in her early 40's. The baby was perfectly healthy too.

She already had two daughters from a previous marriage. They were both close to 20 years old when their new half-sister was born. Which I think was good for my step-brother and his new wife...free babysitter services. :biggrin1:

Yeah, I think I asked my girlfriend the other day if she has had a regular menstrual cycle yet. She said no. That might bother her, and have her a little worried.

Thanks for all the advice and info. I appreciate it.

 

[dolce_miel]

i was on the pill for about 5-6 years and was sickish for about 2-3 weeks after i stopped.

i'm with mme rouge, though. find out what the deal is asap. good luck!

 

[D_Ellerby Eatsprick]

Going off birth control was a blessing for me. My moods mellowed out. I became less snappy and I lost weight. I didn't have headaches or nausea at all.

 

[hoggindaz]

Best age for childbearing remains 20-35 - Delaying risks heartbreak, say experts

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

Pardon, the Christmas time bump, but....

The girlfriend is still so moody.

One of the things that I did not know at the time when I started this thread was that she also discontinued her Prozac at the same time.



Cold turkey.

Yeah, seriously.

She is ready to argue at the drop of a hat. And frankly it is getting old. Her threats of moving out, which occur at about the 30 second mark in an argument, are getting old too. Just coincidentally, her mood flips like a switch whenever we go out. I am left wondering if she thinks that being out in public at say a restaurant is going to make me want her to NOT make a scene. If that makes sense to you all. I was wondering at one point when she was going to throw a drink in my face.

Now, now, before all you ladies just automatically start taking her side, let me preface the situation with this. I was in the military. I was an Air Force officer. For the first three years of my Air Force career I was something like a drill sergeant. However, I can temper my drill sergeant mentality with all the diplomacy, tact, and grace of an Officer and Gentleman as well. I do not need to raise my voice to have an argument.

I am left wondering....

Do I really need to cut her loose?

I told her the other night after leaving a restaurant on our very quiet drive home, "If this is some sort of who wears the pants in this relationship struggle, I want NO part of it. I am not the boss of you. And you "ain't" the boss of me. I want this to be fifty fifty."

All I got in return was silence.

We have been together for 16 months now. For the first 8, she was on both the Prozac and the Pill. Pardon my crudeness here, but I think and I think she thinks that the 16 month mark, especially at our ages, is the "shit or get off the pot" point. We had been talking about looking at engagement rings. I am not so sure now.

And just another thing to mention while I am here bending your ear...errr...eyes. She has not returned back to a regular menstrual cycle since getting off the Pill. Definitely once and maybe twice she has had her period since March/April 2009.

Thanks in advance for any advice you ladies might have.

 

[dolfette]

if i were you i'd have walked by now, mate.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Is it possible that she needs to see new doctors and come up with a new plan? Is it possible that unmedicated, she's just not a nice person? Is it possible that when you were experiencing life together while she was on the pill and on Prozac that your relationship was still in that "best behavior" phase?

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

For Christmas, I asked her what she wanted. She wrote it all down on a list.

I got her everything on that list, and when she got done opening the last present last night, she got this kinda look on her face: :frown1:

I was like, "What's the matter?"

She replied with something like, "Yeah, you did get me everything on my list, but nothing more. I figured that since we have been together for sixteen months, that you would have known me enough by now to get me something else beside what is on the list."



Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. :redface:

I am not a mind reader.

I got up unplugged the Christmas tree lights and the toy choo-choo train, kissed her on the head, and said "I am going to bed."

At some point, she did come to bed herself, and IIRC while I was still sleeping she apologized to me.

I am thinking that if I do cut her loose it could get very, very ugly. She is supposed to go to some foreign country in the later part of January for her two weeks per year Army reserve training. While she is gone at that, I might just quietly, and sneak-i-ly move all her stuff out of my house and into an apartment.

I am wondering if her inability to be tactful and her inability to engage the inhibition part of her prefrontal cortex before running her mouth could lead to an international incident.

I think one of the reasons she quit the Prozac was for any possible teratogenic effects should we actually get married and her to get pregnant, and give birth to a healthy baby.

You two posters have giving me something to mull over this morning, as I fight the traffic and the crowds to return one of her Christmas gifts. I really do want to give her all the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you!

 

[dolfette]

what a bitch! what a spoilt, selfish, childish bitch!

if she wanted a surprise then she should've passed on giving you a list, smiled and said ''surprise me! i love surprises!''

seriously, DO NOT waste your life trying to please her. there are millions of women out there who would really appreciate a man who who got her everything she asked for.

eurgh

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

She sounds like a giant pain in the arse, in your time together have you had ANY good times at all?

Dump the bitch.

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

It is a little bit past noon here St. Louis, Missouri time. She is still sleeping. I have been up since 7 AM. She usually works nights.

Anywhoo...all that said, I am waiting til she wakes up so I can ask about her apology to me last night while I was still asleep.

My memory is still really foggy about what she said and if she made it come across as heartfelt.

My mom is coming over at about 4 PM, and I have to really go clean house. The girlfriend is supposed to fix dinner for it.

So...hmmn...uhhh...UGG! I might be in for a really interesting afternoon/evening.

I might run out and get some alcoholic egg nog first.

:trink26:

 

[Opalite]

I know that when I stopped using the pill for a while (I was curious how I'd be without all those hormones), It was crazy. I had headaches, nausea, very hormonal at first (can you say temper tantrem?!) but that wasn't even the worst. It took nearly 7 months untill I got my first period again, and boy did it hurt (the reason I used the pill in the first place, I get so sick I'd be bed-bound for almost a week). Overall, I just felt 'blah'.. Hollow, emotionless. On top of that, I completely lost my sexdrive (I know it sounds idiotic, but thats what shocked me most - I had a very high sexdrive before, and this made it seems that was all pill and no me.. Scary, no? Felt like beeing slipped a roofie by the doctor!)

Though, after a little over a year things eventually got back to normal again. But I've heard it can take a lot longer to get it out of your system... It might take a lot of patience and understanding.



But frankly, I'm not sure if this is all pill.. Hormones or not, maybe her personallity doesnt mix with yours... you sound scared, really. I won't go as far as calling her a 'bitch' or the like, but the whole thing doesn't sound like a loving relationship!

 

[Twistbarbie]

I've just started taking a different pill than I used to so I have no idea how it is really affecting me, especially in terms of mood. No physical affects so far. Hope it stays that way.

Also if it is hormone related please dont be too harsh it really can flip us out in to demon mode.

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

Okay...thanks... I am really trying to exhibit the patience of a saint.

For now.