Foreplay?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Love-it, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Love-it

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    My wife has never been interested in foreplay, I asked her the other night if our cuddling and handholding was a substitute for foreplay and she thought that maybe it was the case. Cuddling and handholding in no way gets her wet and when we decide to make love she just wants to get going.

    I feel that foreplay is an important part of our relationship and that it would help her relax and lubricate, which has been a problem. My questions are: are there other women who don't like foreplay? And if not, why?
     
  2. Bill UK

    Bill UK New Member

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    I've come to realise in recent years that a lot of women aren't bothered about foreplay, if they are horny they want a cock inside them asap.

    Chew on that feministas !
     
  3. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    I like the "tease" aspect in foreplay. I can't say I've had longer foreplay with women or men, I enjoy it with both. I've never been one to just fling off my clothes and ram it although it does depend on the mood...crotch rubbing with the clothes still on is hot. Rubbing crotch over the underwear, under the pants is hot. Grinding my cock against my partner's ass or crotch is hot. Full-body writing in bed as the clothes are slowly peeled off is hot. Grinding my hard cock against my partner while biting a little through clothes is hot. Hard kissing is wonderful.
     
  4. ClaireTalon

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    Some foreplay is okay, but there is foreplay in many ways. For me, usually the erotic fantasizing and anticipation is a good foreplay, it gets me ready, meaning it gets me wet and wanting to put my fantasies into action. I know other women need more foreplay, more physical foreplay, to achieve that state, as much as some men need more foreplay to get their cock ready for action.

    Above all, foreplay should be considered as what it is, FOREPLAY. I'm not keen for foreplay with someone who puts foreplay above the sex itself. I know many so-called, self-appointed "advisors" in magazines preach the importance of foreplay to guys, with the effect being that guys take foreplay as more important than the fucking. That's WRONG! For me it is, do some foreplay, and then get to the point... more tenderness can be exchanged afterwards, if I'm in the mood.
     
  5. Matthew

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    What a douchebag
     
  6. Pirate Wench

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    BillUK is right.....

    If I'm really horny and already wet.....I don't want any preliminary stuff.....Just Do It......
    Pin me down....rip off my panties.....raw animal sex......

    Thank You

    :smile:
     
  7. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    sometimes it can go 50/50. If my GF is already sopping wet and hornier than a goat, foreplay's on the back burner, just get down to it, make a land speed record for ripping off each other's clothes and begin the carnalities.
     
  8. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Okay.

    (two minutes later)

    You're welcome.

    *zips up and wanders off*
     
  9. SurferGirlCA

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    Foreplay is such a broad term. She doesn't like any type of stimulation before intercourse? Kissing? Body contact? Massage? Fondling? Going down on you? You going down on her? Try and talk some more about it, or at least make sure she knows you'd love to better understand her perspective on it. Maybe there is something she doesn't like (or isn't comfortable with) and she just discounts all "foreplay" so she doesn't have to deal with that concern... or maybe she just doesn't like foreplay. Personally, I am all for it, and lots of it... although there are those times when a quick hot f*ck would do the trick. :wink:
     
  10. RideRocket

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    Sometimes I like to be selfish, but more than not, it's important to me that my partner enjoys herself. If that means foreplay kissing, massaging, fondling, oral, or just a quickie, then so be it.

    _________
    "a quick hot fuck" sounds so hot when written by SurferGirlCA...
     
  11. madame_zora

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    You're both right. And if I'm really lucky, we'll be at it a while...
     
  12. GoneA

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    perhaps that is a form of "foreplay." as you say, that doesn't lubricate her vagina - at least not immediately. my supposition: perhaps, when she does become "wet" the fact that you've done the cuddling, handholding, etc., helps to make it happen. as it happens, everyone is different, as life has so tragically taught her children. :redface:
     
  13. pdrprst

    pdrprst New Member

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    I actually like more foreplay than a sizable number of women. If I'm coming off of a cold start it takes a lot of fuel to fill up you know?

    Also, I have found that younger women tend to be less patient. That's when you have to make them orgasm by looking at them, and tell them to calm down, like Chuck Norris would. :cool:
     
  14. Love-it

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    Quote from GoneA
    perhaps that is a form of "foreplay." as you say, that doesn't lubricate her vagina - at least not immediately. my supposition: perhaps, when she does become "wet" the fact that you've done the cuddling, handholding, etc., helps to make it happen. as it happens, everyone is different, as life has so tragically taught her children. :redface: end quote

    Finally, two people who get the gist of my question, thank you for responding.

    We hold hands while watching TV every night and she usually lays her head on my shoulder and I have my arm around her, sometimes she will let me cup her breast. If she decides that she is interested in making love we take showers and lie down facing each other, a few kisses and me running my hand over her body, sometimes I can use saliva on my fingers to stimulate her clit. This usually only lasts for 30 seconds to a minute before she wants to proceed. If we are going to try intercourse she is anxious and just wants to proceed, see the notes below, and her body isn't fully aroused and her vagina is not as relaxed as it should be. Everytime I mention that we should have more foreplay in order for her to be fully aroused it becomes a small issue. No, she does not like pain. If I go down on her she has wonderful orgasms but if we proceed to intercourse her body has already gone through the lubrication and relaxation stage of orgasm and is returning to her unrelaxed state. She is willing to blow me to orgasm but I only get a few licks if it is "foreplay". She just wants to get on with it.

    For years the only option was oral sex because intercourse was painful for her, sometimes we went 6 months to a year before we tried missionary style sex again, without success. We recently realized that I am above average in girth, and she has been dilating with dildo's and recently she has started to dilate with a speculum and an inflatable dildo. We aren't there yet, but things are getting better. Still not much for foreplay though.

    I just wonder why she is not into foreplay when it would benefit her, she has on rare occasion enjoyed it. I guess everybody is different but I have always heard that women enjoy and want foreplay. I understand that some women on occasion may not want or need foreplay, but I have never heard of a woman, before my wife, that is never interested in foreplay. I think that the level of intimacy during foreplay is too much for her to handle and is related to her childhood. Is there an answer, I don't know.
     
  15. SurferGirlCA

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    Well, I think that's for sure a possibility. If it's that deep-rooted, she would probably need to seek professional help to attempt to deal with it. I wouldn't take on the pressure of trying to be her therapist, especially if she's uncomfortable talking to you about it beyond saying, "let's get to it." The fact that you care so much about wanting her to experience more pleasure says a lot about you, though - all of it good. :smile:
     
  16. nouveau

    nouveau New Member

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    I really enjoy it. I like the anticipation (and lubrication), and just the closeness. Although there are occasions when you just want to get straight down to it, it would be nice every now and then.
    Actually, not any of my previous boyfriends were into foreplay. Damn :\
     
  17. Love-it

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    Thank you for your reflections, SurferGirl. I have to be careful not to push or try the therapist role.
     
  18. hardboy_fll

    hardboy_fll Member

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    I don't mean to sound indelicate, but it sounds like you wish to be more intimate and she does not. This is clearly a problem, as you have outlined.

    Although I am the doityourself kind of guy who likes to get his hands dirty, perhaps the other poster was right that you might seek some sort of professional guidance, although that in itself might be problematic. The trouble is that she won't know how much it might help the both of you until she agrees to it, and that is the hump to get over.

    If it's any consolation, I find myself in your situation as a single guy. I like to engage in fun foreplay, but the partners that I have been with recently want to jump straight to orgasm, which is like taking the shortcut to avoid candyland. That's like the anti-viagra for me. I don't get it. Or more correctly, I'm not getting it. :-(
     
  19. Love-it

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    Thank you for discussing this, since you say you are 50/50, can I ask if you find this problem in both sexes?

    Re:indelicate; on this site I believe you might be the first person to worry about being indelicate.
     
  20. hardboy_fll

    hardboy_fll Member

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    Yes, although I hesitate to label it a problem as such. It's just that what I want right now at this point in my life doesn't line up with what most of my partners have wanted. Clearly, men are more likely to want to jump straight to action and in the past this has been what I wanted at times, too.

    But lately I am looking for an emotional connection and it's ridiculous to expect that from a chance encounter or one-night stand. That emotional connection really makes for some incredible sex, but I'm not ready for another relationship. This leaves me in no-man's land.

    I have other crap polluting my head right now, so that figures into it, too. I'm probably the worst barometer to go by on these matters.

    In case you're still reading, I have two anecodotes: I was having a great time (I thought) with this cute little Latino when he turned his head up to me and said "Don't talk so much". You would have thought that the temperature dropped 100 degrees my dick shriveled up so fast. What a downer! I was not doing the porno soundtrack, either, I was really letting him know how much I was into him. I mean, other than my cock.

    Then, there was this woman whom I knew for a few years who more or less "raped" me one fine night (can't rape the willing, right?), but I think the foreplay for her was simply having me standing within 50 feet of her so that might be a bad example. There was no way that she faked that orgasm, because I thought she was gonna squeeze my insides out with her legs wrapped around my torso. YOW!

    So, yes, it can work both ways for both sexes. I really don't get excited over these gay/straight shouting matches for these reasons. I have seen gay couples act EXACTLY like straight couples in their spats and lovey-dovey niceties, and sexual matters as well. It's just sex. Do it right and enjoy it.
     
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