Love-it said:
Thank you for discussing this, since you say you are 50/50, can I ask if you find this problem in both sexes?
Yes, although I hesitate to label it a problem as such. It's just that what I want
right now at this point in my life doesn't line up with what most of my partners have wanted. Clearly, men are more likely to want to jump straight to action and in the past this has been what I wanted at times, too.
But lately I am looking for an emotional connection and it's ridiculous to expect that from a chance encounter or one-night stand. That emotional connection really makes for some incredible sex, but I'm not ready for another relationship. This leaves me in no-man's land.
I have other crap polluting my head right now, so that figures into it, too. I'm probably the worst barometer to go by on these matters.
In case you're still reading, I have two anecodotes: I was having a great time (I thought) with this cute little Latino when he turned his head up to me and said "Don't talk so much". You would have thought that the temperature dropped 100 degrees my dick shriveled up so fast. What a downer! I was not doing the porno soundtrack, either, I was really letting him know how much I was into him. I mean, other than my cock.
Then, there was this woman whom I knew for a few years who more or less "raped" me one fine night (can't rape the willing, right?), but I think the foreplay for her was simply having me standing within 50 feet of her so that might be a bad example. There was no way that she faked that orgasm, because I thought she was gonna squeeze my insides out with her legs wrapped around my torso. YOW!
So, yes, it can work both ways for both sexes. I really don't get excited over these gay/straight shouting matches for these reasons. I have seen gay couples act EXACTLY like straight couples in their spats and lovey-dovey niceties, and sexual matters as well. It's just sex. Do it right and enjoy it.