Forget penis size. top 3 male traits that get you hot.

[Trott.lint]

Ladies

1 Which three traits attract you to a guy? What are your three prerequisites for attraction? I'm talking if you've known him at least a few hours, as you can't really evaluate personality or hygiene just by walking past a guy in the street.

2 Have you ever been in a largely happy relationship with a guy who had NONE of those three traits. What eventually ended the relationship, if it's not your current one?

Just to be clear (and to protect myself from being blown apart by incendiary firebombs), this question excludes penis size, but includes other factors a guy can't control such as height.

Just curious.

 

[EllieP]

No.1 factor for me is how he treats people. OK, we've established that I was attracted enough to him to be talking to him. Now, I want to see how he interacts with others. How does he handle the wait staff at a restaurant. Does he acknowledge the existence of other people with a "hello" or a nod. Does he listen???

I've been with three perfect specimens whom each were devoid of these abilities. One guy stiffed the waitress because she didn't refill his water after the meal. Another time we (different guy) were at this Korean BBQ place waiting in line. One of his friends was there with us. An Asian woman walked past us with an armload of to-go food headed out the door. His friend ran and opened the door for her. The guy I was with looked at him with a stern look and called him a pussy. And he was serious.

Personality means absolutely nothing without actions. The way I see a man interact with others is the way he will eventually interact with me.

 

[LaFemme]

Humour, kindness and intelligence. And yes, I've accidentally dated a dumb guy or two. Well, one. He had beautiful '80's hair. And big blue eyes. Skin golden and warm like soft California sand. He was kind, too. Dumb as a rock, though. I didn't realize it until he cut his hair after he lost a bet. Turns out he wasn't all that funny either. But he was kind and had beautiful hair.

 

[Trott.lint]

Ha, that's funny @LaFemme

I'll put 'beautiful hair' down as your number 4, then...

 

[gillandjam]

Intelligence, kindness nice smell too

 

[HiddenLacey]

Kind, generous... Laughs like he doesn't care about what the world thinks. You know full belly, head back, bright smile, laughing eyes... Yeah that guy draws my attention.

I also pay close attention to WHO or WHAT brings out the kind and generous demeanor. I'm the type of person to say f all plans and spend the night in the emergency clinic with an injured stray and I would rather say see you on the flip side to some guy who thought having dinner was more important.

 

[LaFemme]

Ha, that's funny @LaFemme

I'll put 'beautiful hair' down as your number 4, then...

Oh, yeah. Hair. I'm embarrassed to say hair. It's my Achilles heel. So glad it's not the 80's anymore. Too many bad decisions!

 

[Ruth-less]

Openness, interest in the world, quickness of mind and the ability to take the conversation to a new level.
Good energy is a must too - has to be someone you feel excited by and with

 

[Trott.lint]

Damnit, ladies, I'm loving this. I'm filling all the criteria here, well, except maybe 'beautiful hair', I'm not bald but neither do I have that lush bouffant I had in my 20s. Anyway, knew this post would give me a narcissistic ego boost

 

[AlteredEgo]

Physical traits:

• Brown, black, hazel or violet eyes.
• Big, strong-looking, but not too hard body.
• Juicy lips.

The absence of juicy lips is a dealbreaker. I'm oddly prejudiced against thin-lipped people, ESPECIALLY people who just have a line for a mouth. It freaks me out a little. The lipless can be friends, but never lovers.

Personality traits:

• Must be really brilliant in an area where I feel deficient. This is non-negotiable.
• Must be able to recognize humor, and find pleasure in the strange or zany. Preferably is funny himself. While having a good sense of humor is absolutely non-negotiable, I can overlook a man not being funny himself if he is both silly and finds me funny.
• Must be kind to those who are smaller, weaker, defenseless, animals, children, those in service and his mother. There is zero wiggle room. Non-negotiable.
• Must be as gentle as he is powerful.
• Must be generous with himself and his resources with his loved ones. This is flexible because, for instance, he may love some terrible people. I do.
• Creativity is so hot.
• Honesty can be hard, but is invaluable and preferrable.
• Affectionate men only. I'm a huge mush. I gotta get my snuggle on a whole lot.
• A playful nature and spontaneity are very alluring to me.
• The ability to de-escalate, the willingness to stand and fight, and the wisdom to know when it is time for which appeal to me.

 

[pink8611]

1 Which three traits attract you to a guy? What are your three prerequisites for attraction? I'm talking if you've known him at least a few hours, as you can't really evaluate personality or hygiene just by walking past a guy in the street.
Just curious.

Non-physical:

1. How they treat family, people they're not interested in, and hospitality/service industry staff and why
2. Sense of humor (defined as both the ability to make and take a joke)
3. Curiosity

Physical:

1. Legs
2. Lips
3. Forearms

2 Have you ever been in a largely happy relationship with a guy who had NONE of those three traits. What eventually ended the relationship, if it's not your current one?

Romantic relationship: nope. In fact, hell to the nah nah.
Casual, very finite relationship: yes, and even those guys I was less attracted to overall, outside of their dick.

 

[nailz]

non-physical: mostly confidence, intelligence and humor.

physical is just way too many possible factors to pick three. i am attracted to all types of people, but someone with poor hygiene/grooming, a sloppy beer belly or the overly puffed-up bodybuilder type is an instant no.

 

[DaisyDoesIt]

them darned eye brow lickers always get my attention...........

 

[missT44]

Intelligence is my number 1 factor that attracts me to a man... An articulate man is a beautiful thing!

Confidence. Not arrogance but a quiet powerful self assurance that he doesn't need anyone else to validate him... It's a big turn on.

A powerful handshake and strong hands! Always gives me a sense that this man knows what he's doing ....

In addition attitude, manners and how he treats animals also makes me more likely to be attracted to him.

 

[missT44]

Oh, a man who can make me laugh is an instant turn on

 

[Trott.lint]

@missT44 Women often mention a man that can make them laugh is halfway through the door! Would a man who could make you laugh a lot but who didn't meet any of your other criteria (lack of intelligence, confidence, limp handshake, ambivalence to animals) stand a chance?

As an aside, I used to think people who are really funny are also intelligent - that you have to be at least slightly intelligent to be humorous - but I've found in recent friendships that's definitely not the case. Some of my most intelligent friends haven't got a sense of humour, and one of the dumbest friends I've ever had was also the funniest. Go figure!

And as another aside, I absolutely abhor people with limp handshakes. A woman can generally get away with it because you don;t expect a strong handshake, but my gf & I both agree that there is nothing - even remotely - as sexy and confident as a woman with a strong handshake: Add 10 respect points even before she opens her mouth! And as for guys, I feel a shiver of revulsion at someone with a soft handshake. I know that sounds judgmental but I'm a big believer in handshake being a reflection of character.

 

[missT44]

I totally agree about the handshake. It's an instant decider for me... I guess I have a really strong handshake and expect the same.

I guess your point about humour is an interesting one ... However, I have a darker wit and do it takes a switched on person to tap into that sense of humour ... The man who makes me laugh sets me at ease but also stimulates me so that's why I find it so arousing ...

 

[Trott.lint]

@SizeQueen0990 Manly thighs? Do expand...

 

[LaFemme]

@SizeQueen0990 Manly thighs? Do expand...

C'mon now. The opposite of womanly! You know, the kind you see in magazines! Hairless and smooth and cellulite free. So hairy, rough and bumpy?

Edit: Oops! Sizequeen is a MAN! Be gone!

 

[rtg]

Ladies

1 Which three traits attract you to a guy? What are your three prerequisites for attraction? I'm talking if you've known him at least a few hours, as you can't really evaluate personality or hygiene just by walking past a guy in the street.

2 Have you ever been in a largely happy relationship with a guy who had NONE of those three traits. What eventually ended the relationship, if it's not your current one?

Just to be clear (and to protect myself from being blown apart by incendiary firebombs), this question excludes penis size, but includes other factors a guy can't control such as height.

Just curious.

1. Just an all-round nice guy who is respectful of me and others. This includes listening and talking about things and not running for the door at the first sign of conflict.
2. Someone who is ambitious and has a steady career.
3. Obviously I'd need to be physically attracted to him too.

Um I've probably dated guys with none of those traits in the past because I didn't realise that they were a douche at first and jumped into it.