joker said:
Abuse doesnt have to be physical,,, mental abuse is just as much or more difficult to have to deal with....
Found Husband's favorite porn sites...
- Thread starter joker
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Abuse doesnt have to be physical,,, mental abuse is just as much or more difficult to have to deal with....
i'm english,, and i know a highly skilled (f) social worker who's marriage is in complete chaos, people need support sometimes and that's what u seem to have here,it is a support group, and quite a good 1, except u dont have a (lp) . u seem pretty switched on to me and alot of people who are into hardcore bondage etc (not every 1) have some sort of inferiority complex and are obsessive controlling people, i don't know your husband, and so can only generalise, but it seems to me that this is the case. if so the only resolution for a stable relatonship is if he show's some willing toward's changing his way's/behavior. this cannot be acheived quickly or easily, and you would have to stop fantisising about big dick's,, to put it bluntly...(good old brit's) or your other option is to escape this control freak and continue fantisising...to me marriage can go wrong, and can be repared but you have to both join the same team and work as 1. in some case's it cannot be repared and that's up to you to work out... try not to damage yourself on the way.(i am highly opinionated and appogise for any offence)elija, 20 m uk
joker said:
I have one simple question for you. And this is about ALL your life. Are you happier when you are away from him, or around him? I know there are moments where either side is one or the other, but overall. And if you are honest with yourself, then you know. If you are happier with him, despite it, then demand counciling together, and work it out, if possible. If you are happier without him around, then end it now, before any further damage is done. He has issues, you have issues. Part of being human. It's a matter if two peoples issues can be made compatable or not. I wish you the best of luck, and remember, you DO deserve to be happy, with or without him in your life. :smile:
- Ette,
I can understand soem of the issues here. First off he is controlling you mentally and you are enabling him. Its not easy to get out of a relationship like that, but anyone who is in one and realizes what is going on has at least made the first step.
As for the porn. I have seen a lot of men who have become so addicted to porn it affects their normal life. They need the stimulation of the porn so much they cannot have a normal sex life without it. Its a scary addiction. Porn CAN be harmful despite what many people think, they have to realize they have a healthy perspective on it. A porn addict deson't. Their reality is very warped by their addiction, it affects thier relationships, their everyday lives.
What you need to work out is what you want and if you want out of your marriage do it before you get ourself into a corner. It's flattering to get online and find so mnay things you want to experience but remeber this, if yu husband is that jealous you can get into a really bad place fast. If you want out of your marriage do that first and then pick up your life.
As for your lack of attraction to him, it coudl well be you are angry at him for his porn as it has affected your marriage. I can relate to that and I can tell you that you need to try to communicate about your needs and see if he can understand the issues you have with his control/jealousy. It is hard to examine yourself that deeply but you need to find out if your mariage is worth saving to you. Don't stay in a bad marriage just because it is easier or because you are scared he might do something. There are places to get help. You might want to consider fnding them before you take on your husband's attitude upfront. It makes it easier to know where you can go than to have to try to figure it out later when it's too late.
Take care of YOU.
As for the porn. I have seen a lot of men who have become so addicted to porn it affects their normal life. They need the stimulation of the porn so much they cannot have a normal sex life without it. Its a scary addiction. Porn CAN be harmful despite what many people think, they have to realize they have a healthy perspective on it. A porn addict deson't. Their reality is very warped by their addiction, it affects thier relationships, their everyday lives.
What you need to work out is what you want and if you want out of your marriage do it before you get ourself into a corner. It's flattering to get online and find so mnay things you want to experience but remeber this, if yu husband is that jealous you can get into a really bad place fast. If you want out of your marriage do that first and then pick up your life.
As for your lack of attraction to him, it coudl well be you are angry at him for his porn as it has affected your marriage. I can relate to that and I can tell you that you need to try to communicate about your needs and see if he can understand the issues you have with his control/jealousy. It is hard to examine yourself that deeply but you need to find out if your mariage is worth saving to you. Don't stay in a bad marriage just because it is easier or because you are scared he might do something. There are places to get help. You might want to consider fnding them before you take on your husband's attitude upfront. It makes it easier to know where you can go than to have to try to figure it out later when it's too late.
Take care of YOU.
