Four Minutes

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by GayFrog, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. GayFrog

    GayFrog Member

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    In the early morning hours I was awaken by my partner gasping for breath like he was joking. He was conscious but couldn’t speak.
    I called 911 and the fire department arrived about 4 minutes later. By that time Andre was unresponsive to me and his breathing was very shallow. I didn’t know what to do for him I felt so helpless. Those 4 minutes seemed like 4 days. The firemen cared for him until the paramedics arrived. They prepped him for transport and took him to hospital.

    I sat at the hospital for over 10 hours not leaving his side, the nurse urged me go home and try to get some sleep saying there was nothing more I could for him. And they will call if there were any changes in his condition. All I know is the lymph node in his chest is enlarged; the cause the cause is unknown at this time.

    My brother is on his way from Toronto and will be here around 5:30.

    I couldn’t sleep and wanted to let it out so I put it here, I love Andre with every ounce of my heart, if I could lay in his stead I would.
    When I see him lying there I cannot control my tears.
     
  2. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    My prayers will be with you both.
     
  3. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Be strong and positive! Sorry to hear though.
     
  4. bwhip1011

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    My thoughts and prayers are with you as well. Please keep us posted.
     
  5. Bbucko

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    All I can say is that I hope whatever is ailing Andre is found and corrected quickly, FF. Keep us informed.
     
  6. hungboy18

    hungboy18 New Member

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    I really hope he gets better, be strong for him.
     
  7. luvmycock

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    hope it all goes well
     
  8. CUBE

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    Very difficult time. I so hope for a turn around for you both. Take care of yourself too.
     
  9. ramery

    ramery Member

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    Hope Andre is fealing better very soon ! Stay strong.
     
  10. D_Rictiotarvic_Ephenphart

    D_Rictiotarvic_Ephenphart Account Disabled

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    i hope Andre is better by now... let us know what happened.
     
  11. jakesph

    jakesph New Member

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    I don't post much but this requires a post. I wish for a speedy recovery for him!!!!
     
  12. GayFrog

    GayFrog Member

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    First of all I would like to thank you for your love and support there is great comfort in knowing you care.

    It’s been a very long day. Andre is sedated and he is on a ventilator. They found two tumors on his left lung one is about 26 mm dia The other about 19 mm dia.The doctors are certain that the enlarged lymph node is from infection and are optimistic that it is not lymphoma. They are going to do a biopsy this afternoon on the lung and the lymph node. I’m told we should know the results in a day or two.

    Andre has been estranged from his family for 26 years; ever since we moved in together as a couple and he came out to them. He wrote his mother several times a year though he never received any replies. His father did phone him for the first time in 17 years; to let him know of his mother’s death in 2002. At her funeral his father said to him, “you can stop writing your letters now.” When his father died in 2004 no one called to let him know he had passed away. A friend of mine who lives in Montreal read the obituary in the paper and phoned me. That was the last year that Andre sent Christmas or Birthday cards to his side of the family.

    My brother feels that Andre’s brothers and sisters should know what is going on, with their brother. We agree that the malice needs to end, so he has taken it upon himself to contact them. He asked me whom, Andre was closest to, I gave him two names. Then I’ll start with Dion he said, Anne Marie next and then work my way through the others. If anyone can bring that family together he can. At least he will give it his best shot. He saved my life when I hung myself back in my early teens. He was my best-man when I married Andre in 2006. Not only is he my brother, he is my friend. I went off to bed and left my older brother to the task at hand.

    I didn’t sleep very well I tossed and turned most of the night. My thoughts are racing constantly in different directions. I’m an optimistic person and always try to look for the sun through an over cast sky. You know when you catch your dick in your zipper, how it hurts, you freeze in the moment and you know when you pull that zipper back down it’s going to f_'n hurt; but you know you have to do it. Oh, that feeling of relief when your dick is finally free. That’s how the hurt in my heart feels and my mind has got hold of the zip tab and won’t pull it down. My relief will come when my husband; the man I love above all others, is well enough to come home and leave his dirty socks and underwear on the bedroom floor and splatter toothpaste on the bathroom mirror
     
    #12 GayFrog, Mar 25, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2011
  13. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    My heart is truly in pain for you and Andre. Just be tough and keep your sprits up and everything will be o.k. as for his family, That is probably the sadest things i have ever read but you can not make a horse drink right? Andre may not have his family by his side but he has you and thats MUCH more than ANYONE ELSE can give him. My thoughts and prayers go out the the both of you and when he gets better and comes home, make sure you tell him that everyone here was rooting for him. Keep smiling.
     
  14. helgaleena

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    We hear you, GF. We are with you in knowing what it is to truly love someone. May you be safe in your love of one another and gosh what a great brother you have!
     
  15. justine

    justine Member

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    Prayers are uplifted for both of you. Each of you shall have strength from your love. When one truly loves another it is hard to see the other suffer.
     
  16. NCbear

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    GayFrog,

    Kudos to you for keeping it all together and handling everything well and even reaching out to your partner's estranged family. You're quite a man.

    Promise us you'll do something else, though, too: Promise us you'll try to meditate or get a massage or something that really relaxes you, even if only for a few minutes. You've got to take a moment to decompress, even in the middle of all of this. Especially if you're all your partner has, at the moment.

    My best to you. And I hope things move forward as positively as possible.

    Take care,

    NCbear (who admires you a LOT)
     
  17. bwhip1011

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    Thank you for updating us. I've been working today, but was thinking of you and Andre so as soon as I got a chance I stopped and logged in to check.

    I know Andre is not out of the woods, but it sounds like he's getting good care. I know that wait on the tests will be seem long, but stay positive.

    You must be a strong person. I'm glad that you're helping with the family issues. This will help Andre and also give you something to focus on. I've never understood how families can allow such estrangement to happen. It's so pointless and sad.

    We're here for you, GF.
     
  18. D_Tam_Ponds

    D_Tam_Ponds Account Disabled

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    Best of luck to you and your husband. Hopefully what remains of his family will find love in their hearts.
     
  19. Mogluver

    Mogluver Member

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    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Andre. With the family all you can do is put the word out, be honest and then stay positive with your thoughts. Holding positive and uplifting thoughts for a swift recovery.
     
  20. Countryguy63

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    I'm so sorry to hear this. Odd how we can not even know someone and still hurt for the pain that they are experiencing :hug:

    You need to take care of yourself, so that you can be there for Andre when he comes home. Get some rest and make sure you keep eating right.

    My prayers and thoughts are with you :smile:
     
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