Four Minutes

[GayFrog]

I met today with the team of doctors caring for Andre.

I was informed that Andre has small cell lung cancer and it has spread to the lymph node in his chest. They are going to operate and remove the tumors and the lymph node this afternoon. Followed by six treatment cycles of chemotherapy. The oncologist said this type of cancer responds well to this regimen when started in the limited stage, although it is not a cure. He would not give an actual prognosis when I asked him, but he did say if left untreated his life expectancy would be less than six months with treatment two to five years.
Without out any further complication Andre should be able to come home in ten to fourteen days.

 

[LunaGremlin]

Nothing better than his return to pick up dirty socks and underwear.

You both are in my prayers.

 

[Riven650]

Hang in there GayFrog. I know exactly how you feel. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. It was a very nasty one too and, as predicted, it has come back again and again. She has had lots of different surgeries, chemo and radiotherapies. It became officially 'terminal' in 2008 when it spread to her brain, but steroids and radiotherapy cleared up the brain mets and she pulled through that one too. Her mum says that I'm the reason her daughter is still alive. I think that is a great compliment, but it was only recently that I allowed myself to acknowledge how much strain I've been under. One of my friends on LPSG said that it's not unusual to lose site of yourself when caring for another. So I accepted some counselling that was offered to me a few months back, and the therapist helped me to realise that I can only sustain the effort of supporting my wife if I look after me a bit better.

My wife has been staying with her mother for ten days, which is the longest we've been apart for several years. I got a text message from my wife today saying she had woken early feeling tearful and missing me. We both know that she needs my shoulder. Andre needs yours. Look after yourself mate.

... You need to take care of yourself, so that you can be there for Andre when he comes home. Get some rest and make sure you keep eating right....
:smile:

I lend you my strength and spirit ...
... as was already said don't endure too long without decompressing even if for a few minutes it will do you a world of good.

GayFrog,

Kudos to you ...
...Promise us you'll do something else, though, too: Promise us you'll try to meditate or get a massage or something that really relaxes you, even if only for a few minutes. You've got to take a moment to decompress, even in the middle of all of this. Especially if you're all your partner has, at the moment....
...Take care,
NCbear (who admires you a LOT)

Just wanted to draw your attention to the very good advice you've been getting. (I love Mr_Bulldog's term 'decompressing'. How very apt.)

Hugs to you both
Riven

 

[arthur]

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. How difficult it must be at this point when added to the heartache you must also attempt to heal unecessary family rifts. I wish you all the best.

 

[Mogluver]

Just was thinking about you both this afternoon whilst swimming. At least you have an answer and he is going to receive treatment immediately, all positive signs. So glad that he will be able to get home and in the supportive and loving environment. By taking care of self your able to take care of your Love. Thoughts and prayers your way and thanks so much for the update.

 

[D_Wilburforce Throttlebottom]

I am a medical student & I got interested in your post and also wanted to wish you and him well.

The fact that surgery is an option is good news. This type of cancer, although aggressive, responds well to treatment and may be completely curable when caught at an early stage. I would caution you about trying to nail down a prognosis. Generally cancer staged at a 1 or a 2 is curable. (survivability is beyond 5 years) Those staged at a 3-4 are treatable (survival rates less than 5 years) I know those are generalities but people often are drawn to the worst scenarios.

Within each of these groups are exceptions. Many patients with stage 4 prognosis's are very much alive 5 years after diagnosis with no reoccurrence. The overall survivability of SCLC is not optimistic when only looking at the statistics. But the fact is nearly a third of those diagnosed will be alive and well at the 5 year mark. There is every reason to believe that your loved one will be one of them!

All the best!

 

[nudeyorker]

I don't know how I missed this thread. I am so very sorry for what you are both going though and what lies ahead. Because I have been there before the best advice I can give you is to ask your oncologist for referrals for the support systems and groups that will help both of you during his treatment and recovery. My thoughts are with both of you.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Very best to you and to Andre, GF.
I hope that Andre manages to reconnect with his family and that his course of treatment is successful.
You take care of yourself ... you need to have all your resources over the next little while.
I always found your posts very human, GF.
Please keep us posted on things as they develop.

 

[GayFrog]

The Operation Went Well This Afternoon:

Andre is now recovering in the intensive care unit. He has tubes either stuck in or poking out of every orifice and then some. He was sedated and only opened his eyes briefly and tried hard to smile at me. I noticed tears rolling down his face. I held his hand and lovingly kissed his cheek, I whispered I love you, sweetheart. I had to bury my head in the pillow to hide my tears from him. My brother reached over put his hand on my shoulder and said, “come on, let’s go home, you’ve had a long hard day, Andre is sleeping.” When I stood up and turned around Wilfrid pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. My head fell onto his shoulder and I was sobbing; “I love him so much.” He rubbed the back of my head with his fingers. When we broke our embrace I turned to Andre Kissed him on his cheek; told him to sleep well and that I would see him in the morning.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm glad things seem to be improving.

 

[B_subgirrl]

My thoughts are with you and Andre, GF.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

OMG, GF, I can't believe I missed this. All i can say is thankfully he has you. I know we all here are just random voices on the web, but please know that Andre and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Rmeber to take careof yourself through all of this, as he will need you at your peak to help him get through this.

Willhorse brought up a good point: do you know what stage it is in at this time? That should at least give you both some sort of framework, timewise. I am hoping for the best, and that he has many long years ahead with you. Take care, sweetie.:hug:

 

[lafever]

Most of all I'm glad he's ok, now go get you some much needed rest. :smile:

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Good that the surgery went well.
Keep us posted, GF.
A lot of people are thinking about both of you.

 

[fire77]

My prayers with you both, I wish Andre quick and healthy recovery.

 

[NCbear]

He's out of surgery and alive and even has a reasonable expectation of fighting this thing. I'm so happy for you.

NCbear (who's been wondering how things are going)

 

[CUBE]

Thinking of you daily...many good thoughts

 

[joyboytoy79]

GF,

First, let me say I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Cancer is one of the hardest diseases to deal with. Stay strong.

Second, I've had many close friends and family members battle with cancer. They've ALL beat the prognosis. Tonight I'm attending a benefit for a professor of mine. She passed away last fall. She had SCLC, and it became metastatic. 6 years before I met her, she was given 6 months to live. She obviously beat those odds. While I know her case is exceedingly rare, I can't help but think it was her positive attitude and the support of everyone around her that got her through.

You have an opportunity now. Help Andre keep a strong, vibrant, positive attitude. Help him to live each day to the fullest, but never let him entertain the idea that it's his last. Read up on his condition. Get in touch with a support group (or two). Smile and laugh and play. Something as simple as a genuine smile may make a world of difference in Andre's ability to beat the odds - whatever the odds may be.

Please PM me if you want to talk.

Best wishes.

 

[petite]

Thank you for the updates GF! I've been thinking a lot about you. Please keep us informed!

I'm so glad to hear that the surgery went well!

 

[XSILVER]

"Its when the night is the darkest, the stars light up the skys" hang in there just a bit longer. Andre will be home in no time.