Frank discussions w/ buddies about sexuality

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ramwella, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. ramwella

    ramwella Member

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    Are their any straight/bi guys out there that can have frank discussions with their buddies about sexuality-- no holes barred, no judgements. If so, how did it start? How often do you talk?

    I have always wanted to talk to my guy friends about sexuality. We're all married and in our mid to late 30's. Two of them are almost like brothers to me. When we hang out together, we seem to be able to talk about everything else-- our jobs, sports, cars, home improvements, sometimes politics. I think having an open conversation about sex would strengthen our friendship. But I'm too nervous to bring on the topic-- even one-on-one. I'm curious to know if we have similar fantasies. What do they do sexually with their wives? Have any of them had a gay experience?

    I going through some personal issues right now, and I think it would help if I could share experiences/swap stories with people I know and care about-- my friends. But this is tough. Sexuality is taboo-talk for guys. So how do I cross that line, or should I?

    Serious and honest replies only, please. Thanks.
     
  2. ibreak4LARGE

    ibreak4LARGE New Member

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    I say just open your mouth and speak. Its funny how many straight men let thier wived use falic toys on them. Even strapons. So if you can't be honest with friends who can u?
     
  3. vindicator

    vindicator Member

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    All most all of my straight guy friends always talk about sex, pull there cocks out when the opportunity presents etc. It just kinda happens. Sometimes someone will just have a story to tell... "The other night I got the best blow job from...." or "Have you ever?....".

    We have always talked about sex and been naked around each other since we were in high school so i guess i don't really think about it much. But i think it's cool to have guys to talk to about sex and mens sexual issues because otherwise who would you talk to?
     
  4. bstexas

    bstexas Member

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    I'm not str8 but I'll give my POV anyway. Like ibreak4LARGE said, just say something. Since u are having issues, is it issues of ur sexuality? The interest in experimenting with another guy? Or another sexual issues that you think they might not approve of ... bondage or whatever? What you might want to do is talk to one person ... one on one sometime.

    It's probably not a can of worms you wanna open to the two at the same time. One might react shocked and the other might feed off that reaction (even if HE has had fantasies himself. He wouldn't want to look like a goof so he'd just follow the other's lead). If these have been friends of urs for ages, then you should be able to tell who might be the most open to this conversation. Maybe have it when two of u are on a fishing trip, hanging out sometime without tons of distractions. I mean, don't talk about it while watching a football game on tv. And just talk about regular (sex) stuff and then bring the conversation around to whatever is on ur mind ... slowly.

    Chat to a caring friend. He might react by thinking ur crazy, or say something like "no man man, I never wanna try that" and then just blow it off and never mention it again. Or it could go the other way that yes, he's had that feeling or yes, he experimented years ago but wasn't his thing but if it's ur thing then cool. You need to make sure you bring it up to the right person.

    Also, don't assume that they never have fantasies themselves either.
     
  5. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Yeah, just raise it. Don't be bashful about it either. Just come right out and start talking. Once they see you're not nervous about it then they won't be either. If they're that close any awkwardness should pass quickly.
     
  6. B_Italian1

    B_Italian1 New Member

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    There are men that do that but I'm not one of them. When I was younger there was more talk amongst my friends, but it never got very graphic. Some things are best left unsaid.

    Those are all general topics unlike sex lives which for the most part are private.

    You could bring it up, and you may get some answers or a "mind your own business" reply. It could also depend on how well and how long you've known these guys. I'd feel kind of weird asking a married friend what he did with his wife or if he ever had any gay sexual experiences, so I wouldn't do it.

    If a friend asked me personal questions, I'd most likely say that I'd rather not discuss it. Another thing is that once you know these personal things about his wife you may think of them when you're around her, and in a way it's kind of like you're spying on her; you know these sexual things about her, but she doesn't any sexual things about you. Unless, of course, her husband tells her all about you. :biggrin1:

    You could mention some things about your sex life, but if they don't reciprocate, then your privacy is lost and theirs is maintained. It's a hard call.
     
  7. goodwood

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    Are their any straight/bi guys out there that can have frank discussions with their buddies about sexuality-- no holes barred, no judgements. If so, how did it start? How often do you talk?


    I have four or five guy friends that are married and speak freely with me about their sex lives with their wives. It usually involves something out of the ordinary, partying, drug use (x, coke, pills, viagra). They tell me excitedly when their fetishes are met be it role playing, dressing up, crazy positions, lack of sleep from having so much sex, how horny their wives were, if their wives were being ass holes and then wanted sex how they refused to let their wives have it (that could be its whole own thread - men with holding sex as punishment).
    Of course having active dating life they are always curious to know of the details of how the newest recent date went and are very funny with their responses if it went well or if she was really bad in bed.
    I also have many, many friends with whom this topic is absolutely verbotten and I would never think of broaching it with them. But I am not really close with those guys.
    No, none of them have had any gay experiences to my knowledge and as freely as they talk I would think they would mention it.
     
  8. ramwella

    ramwella Member

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  9. ramwella

    ramwella Member

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    Thank you for your honest insights. They were very helpful. I appreciate it.
     
  10. D_Dick_Dock_Doe

    D_Dick_Dock_Doe Account Disabled

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    I think the best advice I can give you is to test the waters before divulging any super personal info. I have a lot of friends - some closer than others. There are buddies I can trust (hell, there are buddies I have shared sexual experiences with), and there are friends with whom I would never discuss private matters. The trick is discerning which of your friends are which. That is something that takes intuition and smarts - it really can't be taught.

    Try making a sexual joke or sexual double "entendre" with your buddies and study their reactions. I know to stay away from those that immediately get uptight or make comments like "That's sick, dude" or "No way, man." You can learn a lot about people if you sit back and watch their reactions to comments and situations.

    Good luck!
     
  11. sdbg

    Verified Gold Member

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    One of the nice things about this site is that you can ask any question and get opinions easily without it affecting your private life in the process. There is no risk for you to get real here on LPSG, yet discussing those same subjects with your friends might make things weird - the TMI thing. If the guys tell their wives and then the wives tell your wife, that might not be fun
     
  12. chesz001

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    start it up with talking about your wives,about woman,their fantasies then open up bout sex..it'll be easy,besides you said you can talk to 'em 'bout anythin'..and they're your friends so it's fine..
     
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