Fraternity Memoirs from Nifty

tomdy85

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This will definitely age me :joy:... but does anyone remember Fraternity Memoirs from Nifty.org? If not, you can still access it here: Nifty Archive: fraternity-memoirs. It's a long series written by "John Walsh" (pseudonym obviously) all the way back in 2001-2003. Essentially, it chronicled his real-life experiences freshman year starting college and rushing a fraternity back in the mid-90s, and holy crap did the guy get to have some insanely hot sexual encounters. But erotic wank stories are a dime a dozen, even back in the day - what made FM so incredibly engaging and captivating (and ultimately, so heartbreaking) imo were the interpersonal relationships and bonds he developed with some of the brothers in his frat, and what eventually transpired between them 2-3 years later.

Unfortunately, he never finished the series, and around 2003, he suddenly stopped posting altogether. Sadly, the stories he did publish barely even got through his freshmen year. By then, he had developed a growing fan base and several Yahoo Groups dedicated to FM and I imagine he was probably constantly getting hounded to continue writing. He relented just a little bit and came back a few months later to do an internet chat session as a guest author, where fans were invited to ask questions and John promised to let everyone know what eventually happened in FM.

I only have an edited/truncated log of the chat session, but in it, he detailed several developments that happened in his 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years in college - including having a female ex walk in on him having sex with a guy, getting outed, drama with the fraternity, his eventual fight (which turned physical) with another brother he was deeply involved with, losing touch with his Big - who made an intense impression on him his first 2 years, and many other details about what went on after the last published chapter. A few years later - in 2006 - he published (more like posted in a Yahoo Group I believe) a shorter 3-part update, which went into further details about a few things that happened his sophomore year, with the words "to be continued..." at the very end. Of course, he never did continue the series.

It was clear that writing FM over many years took a toll on John, both emotionally and physically. Physical in the sense that it became a daunting hill to climb since he had written 23 long chapters and had barely even gotten through his 1st year in college, and emotional because a lot of these events, I imagine, were quite traumatic during a very sensitive time in a gay/bisexual person's life. I think he simply ran out of steam and wanted to move on and not devote so much time and mental space to the past.

All this to say - was anyone else here a huge fan of FM, and anyone care to guess which college and frat the series took place in? He gave many, many details throughout the chapters, including some specific locations. Of course, he changed all the names, but I've always wondered who "John Walsh" really was and if he is still writing these days. In the internet chat session, he mentioned that about 80% of what he wrote was true to life and the rest were embellishments. Anyways, just seeing if there were any FM fans still out there who are interested in discussing the series and maybe (hopefully) seeing if there are any further updates on John and the FM series. Thanks all!
 
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Do you still have the chats and yahoo group post? I've had some similar experiences (decades later) and would like to know how things ended up with him.
 

nj6443

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@tomdy85 Don't feel old haha - I get that his initial audience is like in their 40s now but I'm 27 and found it years back in college and jerked over and over to those stories back then. I've always wondered who he is myself and what happened. I'd love some info myself

If you asked me seven years ago what I'd do if I met John Walsh, I'd tell you "I want him to fuck the shit out of me!" haha, but these days I'd honestly want to give him a huge hug and buy him a beer. Walsh went through so much it's insane, and on top of that he's a really sensitive guy. I wouldn't be surprised if that shit still haunts him to this day.

@turkana22 If you're referring to his final goodbye group chat and efforts to wrap up the story via emails, those can be found here:
Last few emails:
Found! The Missing Three Chapters of "Fraternity Memoirs"
Final group chat:
"Fraternity Memoirs" - The Unpublished Finale
 

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@nj6443 Thanks so much for posting the links! I think that's exactly where I copied the edited version of the chat log! Man, it's been so long I couldn't even remember the name of the website/blog. I know exactly what you mean about just wanting to give the guy a hug after everything he went through. But as traumatic as all his experiences were, it was so satisfying to read in the chat that his frat actually elected him president his senior year - that's pretty inspiring considering this was the mid-90s.

I really wonder if he continued writing and possibly even publishing a book or short stories later on under his real name or maybe another pseudonym? In the chat log, he mentioned an idea for a book he'd been toying with. Sort of wonder if he's been right under our noses all this time but we just didn't know. Although there are also so many queer authors nowadays I wouldn't even know where to start looking! :laughing:

About where the story took place - I always sort of wondered if it was Rutgers. John mentioned it was a D1 school, and based on all the New Jersey details sprinkled throughout and some of the driving directions he provided in the last chapter, it really kind of points to Rutgers. Now finding out which frat it was is probably next to impossible at this point.
 
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Thank you @tomdy85 for sharing about this story! I started reading and I'm hooked! Very hot what's happened, but so obvious that he's been manipulated and groomed by Adam. It does make me feel bad for the guy.
 
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Mr_Username

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I've never heard of this story before. It sounds interesting. So do we know what the last days of his senior year were like? If the ending was happy or not. I'm not sure how much I want to read something that I know ends in a total mystery. Did he ever summarize the conclusion?
 
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nj6443

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@tomdy85 No problem, I have that shit saved in my memory haha! Especially with how much I jerked to it in college

Actually, no I think it's the opposite! I don't think it would be that difficult once you know the school. All you'd have to do is contact the school's Alumni office or IFC asking about fraternity records (make up some BS about doing a history project on fraternities), and see if there was indeed a fraternity that was banned around the years that John Walsh says there was.

After that, you'd only run into trouble finding out WHO he was - since the chapter was underground at that time, Nationals might not have information on who was a member those years. If that is indeed the case, the only way you'd learn would be to go to the house itself (assuming it still exists) and look at the annual photo collages hung on the walls.

I'm not from the NE/Mid-Atlantic, so I have no idea where the geographical leads would point, but the only bone to pick I have is that Rutgers is H U G E. The school Walsh described sounded a lot smaller the way he described it, in terms of community. I don't think my friends at state schools ever "ran into friends" in the dining hall the way he did during pledging. That being said, I do think an unfortunate part of the "fraternity bro mentality" is overestimating one's importance, so Walsh could have seen it that way even though it wasn't.

Later today I'll look at a campus map - didn't he mention places like the student center and how it was shaped? Or how the quad was an X shape?
 

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Thank you @tomdy85 for sharing about this story! I started reading and I'm hooked! Very hot what's happened, but so obvious that he's been manipulated and groomed by Adam. It does make me feel bad for the guy.
I agree. I do think it's interesting how perspectives have changed on relationships in the 20ish years since the story. Nowadays we know what grooming is. Do you mean he was groomed by Adam or Kevin btw?
 
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tomdy85

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Wow, loving the comments! I'm just glad there are folks out there who are still interested in the story :)
A few things:

@Jziggs83 - I'm not sure I would say he was being groomed by Adam. At least how I read it, Adam was clearly attracted to John from the very beginning (at least on a subconscious level), but most of his behavior seemed to be in line with how a pledge master would conduct himself back then (maybe I'm totally off here)? As you read more, you'll start to understand what Adam is about - and if you think John is repressed, Adam is on a whole other level. I really wish Adam could have explored that side of himself, but unfortunately, it doesn't seemed to have worked out that way. Kevin, on the other hand, I can definitely see the "groomer" label being applied to.

@Mr_Username - Pretty much everything up to Chapter 23 is still in his freshman year I believe. After that chapter, it was clear he wasn't going to continue writing, so Chapter 24 is essentially a mashup of several summaries that he posted a few years later that described briefly what happened his sophomore year, and then a few tidbits about things that happened way in the future. However, this doesn't cover some of the big events that happened his junior and senior year. For a summary of that, you can read the group chat log above, which @nj6443 posted titled "Fraternity Memoirs - The Unpublished Finale". In the chat, John goes into more detail about the trauma of being outed, his insane fight with Kevin, and later being elected president of his frat. He also talks about what happened to the other main brothers in FM.

@nj6443 - Man I wish I had the time to go down that rabbit hole :laughing:... maybe someday in the future. But if the "76" year in John's defunct email is to be believed, then it's clear he was at the school around '94-'98. Also, towards the end of the series, he started naming several sororities and fraternities (although I'm 100% sure he changed the letters to maintain anonymity). The reason why I think it's a larger school is because in Chapter 20, when talking about their frat trying to get re-recognized, he mentioned something about the school placing a cap of 36 on the total number of frats and sororities. That seems to be a pretty large number of Greek organizations - so I always assumed this was a larger university. Although, tbf, that number could have been fudged as well. It's just impossible to tell what details were true to life and what were made up.

One other thing about FM, looking back on it - there are so many things we can recognize as terrible behavior nowadays - from the blatant misogyny to the continual alcohol and drug use to the clear hazing during rush. Clearly, none of that should be condoned or excused, but I sort of take FM as a time capsule from one person's experience back in the 90s - both good and bad. John also discusses some of this in the chat log, and especially speaks of his past drug and alcohol use in a negative light.
 

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I agree. I do think it's interesting how perspectives have changed on relationships in the 20ish years since the story. Nowadays we know what grooming is. Do you mean he was groomed by Adam or Kevin btw?
I meant Adam. When I left that comment John was still pledging and a lot of the pledge stuff seemed like grooming to me... I just finished it tonight and I see now how it ended. Sad, but it makes sense. I wish Adam could have stayed another day in Florida rather than being so conflicted.

I didn't see Kevin as grooming him so much at that point, but he was definitely pushing John's boundaries... So maybe grooming. A lot of lies there too
 
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Wow, loving the comments! I'm just glad there are folks out there who are still interested in the story :)
A few things:

@Jziggs83 - I'm not sure I would say he was being groomed by Adam. At least how I read it, Adam was clearly attracted to John from the very beginning (at least on a subconscious level), but most of his behavior seemed to be in line with how a pledge master would conduct himself back then (maybe I'm totally off here)? As you read more, you'll start to understand what Adam is about - and if you think John is repressed, Adam is on a whole other level. I really wish Adam could have explored that side of himself, but unfortunately, it doesn't seemed to have worked out that way. Kevin, on the other hand, I can definitely see the "groomer" label being applied to.

@Mr_Username - Pretty much everything up to Chapter 23 is still in his freshman year I believe. After that chapter, it was clear he wasn't going to continue writing, so Chapter 24 is essentially a mashup of several summaries that he posted a few years later that described briefly what happened his sophomore year, and then a few tidbits about things that happened way in the future. However, this doesn't cover some of the big events that happened his junior and senior year. For a summary of that, you can read the group chat log above, which @nj6443 posted titled "Fraternity Memoirs - The Unpublished Finale". In the chat, John goes into more detail about the trauma of being outed, his insane fight with Kevin, and later being elected president of his frat. He also talks about what happened to the other main brothers in FM.

@nj6443 - Man I wish I had the time to go down that rabbit hole :laughing:... maybe someday in the future. But if the "76" year in John's defunct email is to be believed, then it's clear he was at the school around '94-'98. Also, towards the end of the series, he started naming several sororities and fraternities (although I'm 100% sure he changed the letters to maintain anonymity). The reason why I think it's a larger school is because in Chapter 20, when talking about their frat trying to get re-recognized, he mentioned something about the school placing a cap of 36 on the total number of frats and sororities. That seems to be a pretty large number of Greek organizations - so I always assumed this was a larger university. Although, tbf, that number could have been fudged as well. It's just impossible to tell what details were true to life and what were made up.

One other thing about FM, looking back on it - there are so many things we can recognize as terrible behavior nowadays - from the blatant misogyny to the continual alcohol and drug use to the clear hazing during rush. Clearly, none of that should be condoned or excused, but I sort of take FM as a time capsule from one person's experience back in the 90s - both good and bad. John also discusses some of this in the chat log, and especially speaks of his past drug and alcohol use in a negative light.
Totally a time capsule! Honestly reminds me of what I expected college would be like from all the TV I watched in the 2000's
 
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nj6443

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I meant Adam. When I left that comment John was still pledging and a lot of the pledge stuff seemed like grooming to me... I just finished it tonight and I see now how it ended. Sad, but it makes sense. I wish Adam could have stayed another day in Florida rather than being so conflicted.

I didn't see Kevin as grooming him so much at that point, but he was definitely pushing John's boundaries... So maybe grooming. A lot of lies there too
Yeah, I get that. I think both groomed him, to be honest, but in different ways. Kevin was a lot worse to him.

That stunt Adam pulled on Walsh at the beginning strikes me as an example. Walsh was waiting for his bid letter by 6pm or something, and if he didn’t get it he didn’t make the cut. He was obviously really interested in the fraternity, went to every event, and so he kept checking his mailbox all day, and when it wasn’t there at 6pm he started crying. A minute later Adam jumped out with a “Gotcha!” and gave him the bid letter.

I remember thinking to myself, even at 19, that I personally may have punched him in the face instead of hugging him like Walsh did.
 
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tomdy85

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Ahh, I see what you guys mean. I suppose if you look at the entire process of rushing a fraternity, a lot of things that pledges are put through can easily be described as grooming. It's all about testing your devotion (through kind of fucked up ways), proving your worth, being manipulated into thinking that these random people you literally just met will be the most important people in your life, etc, etc. Not to over-generalize, but there are definitely a lot of f-ed up things about greek life.

For me, after reading the entire series, Adam did seem like a good guy in the end. He obviously had a bi side to him that - maybe under the right circumstances - he could have explored further and who knows what that might have led to. I wonder a lot about how Adam's life is now - after the final update from JW saying he was married with kids, and a NJ state trooper at that!
 

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Ahh, I see what you guys mean. I suppose if you look at the entire process of rushing a fraternity, a lot of things that pledges are put through can easily be described as grooming. It's all about testing your devotion (through kind of fucked up ways), proving your worth, being manipulated into thinking that these random people you literally just met will be the most important people in your life, etc, etc. Not to over-generalize, but there are definitely a lot of f-ed up things about greek life.

For me, after reading the entire series, Adam did seem like a good guy in the end. He obviously had a bi side to him that - maybe under the right circumstances - he could have explored further and who knows what that might have led to. I wonder a lot about how Adam's life is now - after the final update from JW saying he was married with kids, and a NJ state trooper at that!
Yeah, I've heard so many genuinely horrible stories about hazing. I don't understand why you would want to be friends with people who just physically and mentally abused you.
 

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@Jziggs83 I remember reading the same thing about JW posting a picture of himself! Unfortunately, I never saw it either :( By the time I read the series, all the Yahoo Groups had already been deleted. If anyone has still has it, I'd be forever grateful if you DM-ed me!

@bindujoshi19 I know what you mean man. I really wish he could have continued writing the series and finished it properly. But I also get how tough it must have been to go and dig up all of your past, and then spending hours upon hours writing. I can definitely see why he quit.
 
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Wow, I binged this in 3 days. It took an emotional toll on me I would have been in college about the same time, maybe a couple years later. I work with fraternity and sorority students, and also acknowledge my recent (within the last 3 years) own experimentation and appreciation of men, this story was a roller coaster. What an amazing autobiography that would really make a hot series but even more so, great stories to read and try to understand what goes on in our heads and hearts. My heart literally hurts for John Walsh!
 

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I found this thread yesterday and immediately started reading the chronicles. I barely had any sleep reading it and I still have A LOT to cover.

I really wish the author knew about LPSG and came back here for a 20 years later kind of update. I have barely reached the middle of the story and I already wonder how they all turned out today... Maybe he would even write the "sequel" you guys have been discussing. Is there any way to contact him? Maybe the email account in the chapters is still active?
 
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