Fraternity stories

[Ganymede]

As with many other guys, I'm fascinated with fraternities. Obviously, it is the all-male aspect. The thing that fascinates me about fraternities is that they are simultaneously hyper masculine and hyper heterosexual, while at the same time often indulging in homosexual innuendo, though often couching it in humor.

Anyway, this is an experience I'll never have. Though I am returning to college, I am doing so at a community college that doesn't have a fraternity (to my knowledge) and I'm 31. I'm too old and in the wrong place. So, I don't know what I'm asking for, but if anyone here has any stories they'd like to share, please do.

I'm fascinated by the fact that ultra-masculine and ultra-heterosexual behavior often seems to intersect with very homosexual behavior. This can be seen in sports (ass patting on the field, thousands of men cheering on male wrestlers dressed in speedos and with glistening muscles), in music (thousands of male music fans cheering on male heavy metal rock stars dressed like women, but with huge bulges; thousands of male rap music fans listening to rap guys brag about their large endowments), and in fraternities (thousands of young males being very masculine, getting drunk, getting "messed up", and often having circle jerks, etc.).

Thanks for listening.

 

[PacknThick]

I wasnt in one either. Graduated from college 2 yrs ago but have alot of buds who were in them and its safe to say that any stories you do get are probably fake and dick-typed. Real Fraternal brothers never talk about what really happens, if they do its face to face with those they trust. I doubt it would be typed on here for the world to see.

 

[NIMBUS]

Can someone please explain for those outside the US exactly what a fraternity is? Most of us only have the vaguest of ideas based on what we read on sites like this. What is the point of it? Is it compulsory?

 

[glenroebuck]

No they are social organizations in college you can join. Some are deep with tradition - I believe it costs to be in one....hence the term in college for those who do not join "I don't have to pay for my frineds"

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Can someone please explain for those outside the US exactly what a fraternity is? Most of us only have the vaguest of ideas based on what we read on sites like this. What is the point of it? Is it compulsory?

College fraternaties (for men) and sororities (for women) are exclusive private student societies that a prospective member must be voluntarily initiated into. Some fraternities are more selective than others. Some are very exclusive and require new recruits to be invited in by an exisiting member. Others may accept prospective new members without a recruiting sponsor. Regardless, all fraternities require some sort of trial period where the social graces, the grooming habits, the academic performance and athletic success of the propective new member (called a "pledge") are critically evaluated by the fraternity's members. At the end of the trial period, the pledges are either accepted or rejected by the fraternity's members.

There are scores (perhaps hundreds) of fraternities in the US. Some of them emphasize academics, others emphasize athletics, others emphasize wealth and social status, while others apparently focus on little more than alcohol, drugs and partying. A common bond of interest or loyalty is supposed to bind the fraternity members together in brotherhood. Regardlesss of their individual special emphasis, fraternities have gained a reputation for being notorious for wild partying.

 

[mustang43]

there are no circle jerks and homo stuff. whoever thinks that is an idiot. its about having a brotherly bond with your closest friends and having a good time. i know first hand. this thread is dumb

 

[thirdlegmeat]

Agreed. I love the percieved gay fantasy of fraternity circle jerks. It's just like the all-girl slumber party pillow fight that hetero guys imagine.

 

[OC_Dallas]

I can ASSURE you there are no circle jerks that take place in any fraternities... I am currently in one and everything said up there is bullshit. And for anyone elses information... living in the fraternity house is only about $100 more than living in most ordinary dorms. the only extra costs are for t-shirts, date parties, formal, initiation, etc.

 

[deanhuge]

Being a member myself, I will say this fraternities are a microcosm of society, there are good athletes and bad, there are rich guys and there are guys working three jobs to afford school and the dues that go with belonging to a fraternity, there are assholes who think very highly of themselves and there are men of high moral character that go out of their way to help others in need and like the rest of society there are straight guys and there are gay guys in fraternities. A recent article I read showed that there were 8-10% of the Male Fraternity population that self-identifies as gay anonymously; however a vast majority of these guys are deep in the closet because of fears of alienation and no longer being accepted by his social outlet. I won't go into all the psychoanalysis but fraternities are an amazing social organization that builds friendships, leadership skills, communication, bonds, and lifetime learning, while at the same time allows people to experience quite a social life which if not done in moderation can get out of control like anything else. The unfortunate thing about fraternities are that they are also hyper masculine which causes some gay members to hide in the closet or walk away from their chapters rather than face their brothers. I can not tell you the number of times I heard my brothers say "that’s so gay" or "Your so gay" unfortunately it takes a very strong gay guy to deal with that and still come out. Some people say why on earth would a gay guy subject himself to that kind of harassment the answer is acceptance, friendship, loyalty, connections, etc... (basically, the same reason a straight guy would join). If you haven't guessed I work in higher education!

If you truly have an interest in finding out about the true lives of Gay guys who are in fraternities then you will want to go the following link: Lambda 10 Project National Clearinghouse for LGBT Fraternity & Sorority Issues

If you are just looking for the fantasy (i.e. made up stuff) then I suggest Nifty Archive: college there are tons of stories to keep you in fantasy for a long time.

 

[salinger]

I was in a fraternity in the midwest in college (late 90s/early00s). Lived in the house for three years and off campus my senior year, though still hung around. It's certainly hyper masculine and hyper sexual, and while there is no overt gay shit going on, there is covert.

It's also a strange mix of behaviors. It wouldn't be at all shocking for a friend to show you his dick and ask if you thought it was getting bigger. It was not uncommon to tell someone you were gonna shower so they could join you - just to chat. And sex with others around or joining in was not at all uncommon.

 

[salinger]

Yeah, I agree with deanhuge on the positives. I was out (bi) in my fraternity (and wasn't the only one) and never had an issue. Others had paved the way before me, and part of it was because we were such a huge chapter and had so many different types of members anyway. No other fraternity had blacks, Asians, Hispanic, and Jewish members. Not to mention the nerds and jocks and burnouts. Lots of folks.

 

[savaged]

Well said Deanhuge. My Fraternity years were the best of my life. It's where I grew up, had some of the most amazing experiences (non-sexual) and met my best friends for life.

Being in a larger Fraternity, about 100 active members at that time, the 10% rule would have meant about 10 gay members were present but in the closet so to speak. During those 4+ years there were only 2 who were suspected to be gay while they were Undergraduates. In keeping track as time has passed, at least 5 brothers have "come out" to my knowledge. It wouldn't surprise me if there were a couple more...and the 2 that were suspected both turned out to be.

Our Fraternity was not particularly gay friendly so playing it straight was the way to go at the time.

The only naked group stuff we did was surrounding Hell Week. It wasn't a sexual thing at all but more of a pledge class ritual. Still smile when I think about that week!

 

[Ganymede]

Thanks everyone for your responses. These are really interesting responses. I wasn't looking for fantasies, as I myself do not self-identify as "gay." I was looking for insight into what this experience is like.

About the homoerotic aspects, frankly, I think that this is inevitable whenever groups of men are without women. Some can argue that point, I know. But that's just my opinion.

I certainly wasn't suggesting that fraternities were simply covert gay male hangouts. I'm just interested in the psychology of it all. Whether it makes some uncomfortable or not, there is, in my opinion, a lot of homoeroticism in many so-called "straight" institutions. And I can't think of anything more "straight" than a college fraternity.

Above, someone wrote that it was common for a fraternity brother to pull down his pants and ask if you thought his dick was getting bigger. That's interesting, because on one hand that could be seen as "gay," but on the other hand if one has an established reputation as being "straight" then one can get away with such behavior. But let an openly gay guy do the same thing, and the other guy would take it as a come-on. It's an interesting situation where it appears that if you are established as straight then sometimes you can get away with otherwise homosexual or at least homoerotic behavior. Another example of this would be the ass patting in football. Let two gay guys pat each other's asses on the street of a conservative city, and they will most likely be assaulted. Let two football players pat each other's asses on the field, and no one blinks an eye. It's just interesting to me that in some cases the reward for establishing a heterosexual identity and reputation is that one can get away with behavior that would otehrwise be viewed as homosexual.

About the circle jerks, I'm really sorry, guys, if I offended some of you. The only way to learn is to ask. I've never been in a frat so I don't know and have to ask. I have been told by people who have been in frats that it does indeed happen. And I was told by another guy, who was in a frat at the time, that he got the circle jerk question all the time; he laughed and said that it never happened.

Lastly, and I mean this honestly, in many ways a fraternity sounds like a beautiful concept and I'm sorry I'll never be able to have the experience. My brother had the experience, and I feel like he considers his fraternity brothers to be more his brothers than he does me. If the bonding in fraternities is really as beautiful as what some of you have said, then I'm sort of understanding why this may be the case with my (biological) brother. College fraternities seem to be a situation that allows young men to bond in a way that is seldom allowed in society these days.

For those unfamiliar with what a college fraternity is:

Fraternities and sororities - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[NIMBUS]

Thanks for all the explanations for the benefit of us 'foreigners'.

We don't really have such things in the UK. At most colleges you spend only your first year there in college accommodation ("halls of residence"), if you can get in at all. After that you generally find a house and shack up with a few friends that you've got to know over the year.

Within halls there are no real social organisations. A few still have an event to welcome 'freshers' (new students) - when I was at college it was called Ents (short for entertainments) Night. I think that it was a very, very tame (and shorter!) version of what you guys call "Hell Week", a few hours of drinking and stupid (occasionally embarrassing) games. However, it wasn't compulsory although you did get frowned upon a bit for a couple of days for not going. Despite some reasonably heavy attempts at persuasion I didn't bother with mine, I went out to see a movie with a couple of mates. There was no further mention of it when i got back. Frankly I couldn't give a damn for anyone that was in my own hall of residence, I spent most of my time in the one next door with my course-mate and a couple of other friends. After we moved out the four of us shared a house together for the next two years.

In college as a whole the only real social organisations are sports clubs, political groups, religious groups, special-interest groups, all of which are extremely informal and have none of this 'bonding' nonsense attached.

 

[Ganymede]

To be honest, I think that underlying the idea of American fraternities in colleges is an attempt to keep young men from getting lonely when they've been sent far away from school. Also, it's good networking. Have you heard of Skull and Bones? It's a fraternity that many US presidents belonged to, such a Bush sr and jr.

 

[slate_australis]

I joined one while on exchange for a year. I received 'bids' (offers) to join 5 - some were HUGE, some small, some actively recruit some are invitation only.

I joined a more selective smaller frat. I didn't join because of any sexual hopes or anything like that. I never had brothers and wished I had - that's what it was like for me, I only lived in the house a semester - but it truly was to me like having 30 brothers (little brothers... I was the oldest guy in the house).

There were a couple of guys who pinged my gaydar pretty hard. One of them has all but come out... some of the guys were a bit freaked out- but they're much better and he's a much stronger person.

I had the same thoughts about them as many... but after being in it - as long as they aren't one of those meathead/masochistic ones... it's a great experience.

 

[ajay38]

Well as far as I'm concerned I think the whole American Greek Fraternity thing is probably a bit elitist. Of course since I never really wanted to be in a fraternity and never tried I really can't judge. Does anyone know what the difference is between a gay boy and a frat boy? A six pack! Ok! ok! no flames just thought I'd throw that old joke in the mix.

 

[Ganymede]

I agree, by the way. I've always felt they were a bit elitist. And that's an old joke, but I've never heard "frat boy" put in there, just "straight boy." "What's the difference between a gay boy and a straight boy?" I remember listening to Howard Stern one time as they talked about a party all the guys had. Gary, Baba Booey, commented to Howard about the shenanigans, saying, "Why is it that when guys get together and get drunk they get a little gay?"

 

[iyikedralling]

I'm in a fraternity as well, and while I can definitely say there is no over homosexual stuff going on. The one thing I can remember is two guys getting wasted last year and somehow winding up wrestling in their boxers. It was after formal so they didnt want to mess their suits up. Other than that, nothing gay at all, just teabaggings, people pulling out their cock to fuck with you, and mooning.

however, there was one occasion where I and a fraternity brother tagteamed a girl, we told no one for the simple fact that I didnt want anyone knowing our cocks touched.

 

[YourAvgGuy]

I am a member of a frat, too. I will not be redundant and repeat what has been shared here, but the selective greek organizations (which I belong to one) are selective for reasons. These gentlemen are your brothers for life. Once you are initiated you are a brother for life, unless you do something really stupid and are black-balled. That is the beauty behind it - genuine brotherhood.

Also, frats have many positive attributes... community service, philanthropy, being a strong connector to retention for members in higher ed., etc. I think a lot of the negativity is catered to the stereotypical mythology protrayed on TV about frats and what is expected. Sure, some things happen, but it is rarely what you see on TV. Hell, if the media protrayed the "good stuff," the movies would not sell. Media feeds us what we want... stereotypes and mythology. Eat up and get fat............