Freddie54 Killed in Coup Attempt

[Freddie53]

As many of you know Freddie54 tried to take over Freddie53's vaulted position here at LPSG during the Invision Board Crisis. Unfortuantely, Freddie 54 lost his life in the ensuing battle. Freddie53 does mourn for the loss of Freddie 54 even under these trying situations. Freddie53 and Freddie54 had been so close for so many years.

Memorial services will be held at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. No church would agree to hold the service and a mighty "organ" was requested. Monty (Prep) will play the Mighty Theatre Organ there for the service. Madame Zora will be singing several selections. She has quite an extensive repertore. Our distinguished theologian and defender of the fundamental movement, the Most Right Reverend Dr. Rock will give the eulogy. DoubleMeatWhopper (Jacinto) is to give the critique of the sermon and tell the gathered mourners what the hell Dr. Rock said that was wrong. Dr. Rock will be speaking giving principled references on the toipc "Why We Know God Really Exists." Gotabigone will lead in the liturgy and g lift up all the prayers of those assembled and will explain in 30 seconds what Objectivism is. Those assembled will join in voices in singing that great hymn of the church, "If Man Goes to Hell, Who Cares" All 27 verses will be sung.

The family requests that memorials be given to the Penis Reduction Research Foundation at www.jerryfalwell.org or to www.patroberson.org.
or to the Small Penis Lobby Group at www.lessthanfiveinches.com. This particular lobby group is pushing for legislation to outlaw all dicks over 4 1/2 inches long. It is affliated with the "fundie" agenda that is promoting a requirement that all women undergo at least one abortion in her life time. The tax payers will of couse pay for this. We can thank Pecker for that. Pecker insisted that the state should always pay for all medical, dental, credit card and other costs that folks from time to time accumulate. Pecker was just thinking the other day about the horors when people had to get through hard times without government handouts. Pecker will not be able to attend the service. He will be at the National Democratic Commitee meeting that day replacing Howard Dean as the Chair.

Please contact Mr. Mark for tickets to this awesome memorlal service as an overflow crowd is expected to guarantee you a seat for this great tribute to a man who never lived.

Please sign the condolance book for Freddie53 at LPSG Forum Meet and Great Threat Freddie 54 Killed in Coup Attempt. Freddie53 would appreciate your deepest sympathies at this great loss.

 

[Pecker]

My condolences.

I understand that Freddie54 may have lived a short time in Guyana where he lived an idyllic communal life. It's rumored, however, that a lifetime allergy to Kool-Aid saved his life and he returned to the U.S. in late 1978 where he slept in alleys and ate from dumpsters behind pet stores until he won several million dollars in the lottery. That's when he could afford to turn his genius to evil.

The rest is history.

 

[KinkGuy]

I didn't think I liked number 54 anyway! 53 is the original !

 

[curious n str8]

My condolences.

I understand that Freddie54 may have lived a short time in Guyana where he lived an idyllic communal life. It's rumored, however, that a lifetime allergy to Kool-Aid saved his life and he returned to the U.S. in late 1978 where he slept in alleys and ate from dumpsters behind pet stores until he won several million dollars in the lottery. That's when he could afford to turn his genius to evil.

The rest is history.

My condolences im sure lil Freddie54 would have made a fine son..like can be so wimsical

 

[madame_zora]

Well, Freddie 53 seems to be the brains of the operation anyway.

I'll be singing a selection from Skid Row "No need to holler, no need to shout. This party's over so GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Of course, we'll all be on skid row once "they" discover that Pecker's plan to have our expenses paid came about by bribing several federal officials to expose them as the dickless bastards they obviously are. Hold onto that photographic evidence, Pecker- we might need it.

Freddie 54, I fling my g-string at you in farewell!

 

[Freddie53]

I was hoping you would select that song. You do such a good job on it. I remember when you sang part of it on the 700 Club. I never understood why they faded away and we didn't get to hear the rest of it.

I really appreciate Pecker bribing the federal officials. It means a lot to me. However, I tricked Dick Cheney into thinking this was a Republican extravaganza and Haliburton got the contract without bids. Everyone will make enough money off this for a big party. Private jets paid for by the federal government are already been secured. Shall we go to Paris, Italy Monaco. We need to get a decisoin soon.

You should get your check for singing that song from Haliburton. I'm sorry that they are only paying $50,000. Is that enough? We told them you were the chairman of the local Republican Party there in Ohio and helped register and count the graveyard votes. They were so appreciative of your service "to our country and George Bush."

"George Bush is Great. George Bush is Good. Thank God George Bush has screwed my ass."

What would our country do without him????

 

[Dr Rock]

at the conclusion of my sermon i will offer incontrovertible proof of god's existence by running outside screaming like a little girl and blowing myself up in the middle of 6th ave. visitors arriving by car should bear this in mind when selecting a parking facility in the area.

 

[Pecker]

at the conclusion of my sermon i will offer incontrovertible proof of god's existence by running outside screaming like a little girl and blowing myself up in the middle of 6th ave. visitors arriving by car should bear this in mind when selecting a parking facility in the area.

Quoting Dr. Rock after the sermon:

http://www.nederpoparchief.nl/bluesbrothers/light.wav

 

[Freddie53]

at the conclusion of my sermon i will offer incontrovertible proof of god's existence by running outside screaming like a little girl and blowing myself up in the middle of 6th ave. visitors arriving by car should bear this in mind when selecting a parking facility in the area.

Dr. Rock, I know I said I wanted you to run outside screaming like a little girl, but the part about blowing yourself up. Please reconsider.

Pat Robertson is getting up in years. With your revered status among the religous right, I have been asked to offer the job as achor of the 700 Club to you. Yes it is true. Madame Zora will be singing from ber latest album "Most Beloved Hymsn of the Un Chuch". Monty, (Prep) will be playing half step flat to give some originality. Regulars to the show include Gota BigOne, DoubleMeatWhoppper, and a special guest Kink Guy whose latest best seller, The Real Cause of Declining Eyesight in Old Age "Seeing a Penis of a Man in a Locker Room" Pecker will be the "color" anchor adding bits of humourous and delightful comments. Pecker will also be promoting his new book, Why Mormonism is Wrong. Pappy will be promoting his new book, Why Big Penises are a Communist Trick to Take Over America. Word has is that Madame Zora is penning a book on how the female gender of the world should always be a lady and refrain from using the vulgarities in the world. It is also rumored that Madame Zora will be promoting her new chasity best line for both girls and boys. Madame Zora other new book, Why Women Should "know" Only One Man in a Life Time is guarenteed to be a best seller among the faithful religious right. DoubleMeatWhoppers new book, The Myths of the Catholic Church will not be in the bookstores until next summer.

I am happy to report that my new book will be coming out the week of Thanksgiving. After much research in the Bible, I have unrefutable evidence that the earth is not round, it is sqared. The Earth has four corners, Says so in the Bbile. The book tittled, The Round Earth Theory: What the Scientists Don't Want You to Know has enoguh advanced sales to make it a best seller. Mr. Mark'as new book, The Evils of Porography and Why it Should be Banned by the Goernment is being written as we speak.

Please copy the agenda that the above stars have set for the coming year.

1. Outlaw the teaching of science
2. A new Constitutional Amendment making Fundie Religion ythe state religion of the United States
3. Outlaw the Methodist, Presbyterian and Episcopal Churches
4, New Anti Abortion amendment outlawing al abortions for any reason
5. Tax credit for those making $100,000 or more for abortions performed in Canada.
6, Remove the follwoing topics from the social studies curriculum: The mention of slavery as being immoral, delete any reference to the treatment of the Japanese Americans during World War II, Rewrite the American Revolution showing that George Washington was a member of an Evangelical Fundamentalist Church, and any references to privacy for any reason being protected by the Constitution.
7. The appointment of John Ashcraft as the director to police and regulate all internet activities world wide.

Dr. Rock will be leading the special payer services. Watch for details and times.

Mr. Mark will be the new producer of the 700 Club. We welcome his expertise in promoting the fundie world.

 

[Pecker]

Not to throw a wrench into the works but I've come across some credible information from a whore in Intercourse, PA, that Freddie54 had an illegitimate son.

Although Freddie54 was a deadbeat dad and his estate owes over $1million in overdue child support, rumor has it that Freddie55 worshipped his absentee dad and has sworn vengeance for his untimely death.

Security at the Memorial Service has been strengthened and Mayor Bloomberg has raised the city's alert status to Orange.

 

[steve319]

While I'm sad at the loss of Freddie54, I have to say how relieved I am that Freddie53 came through the altercation unscathed.

I volunteer to stand at the entrance for the service to help greet mourners and compile the list of visiting dignitaries. Perhaps dolf250 could help with ejecting any crashers?

Anyone up for handling grief counseling in the side room?

(Thinking suddenly how much I've missed you guys while life has intervened. Thanks for this one Freddie! )

 

[TX_Landshark77]

That motha-fuckin Freddie53, owed me $35.00. What am I suppose to do to collect my money?

 

[GoneA]

Anyone up for handling grief counseling in the side room?

I guess I will volunteer my mastermind counseling prowess. It is not so much so that I particularly liked Freddie 54 - quite the opposite, I hated that bastard. Nevertheless, there is a greater good here that must be...fulfilled.

Moreover, I can not guarantee that the advice I will disseminate to the mourners will be encouraging, to say the least. I will also be charging $1000.00 to every [FONT=&quot]counselee[/FONT], for every hour on the hour - additional charges may apply.


And don't expect me to hand out napkins to the tearful – or candy to those insufferable children. I did enough of that at GoneB's funeral.

 

[Matthew]

Freddie 54's ALIVE. I saw him with my own eyes. Yesterday.

 

[Freddie53]

Freddie 54's ALIVE. I saw him with my own eyes. Yesterday.

It is true. Freddie54 is indeed alive. Durng the Coup Freddie54 staged his own fake death. I heard from him yesterday. Sorry Madame Zora, I know you were so looking forward to singing in Radio city Hall. I was going to wait until after the funeal to announce it. I wanted to see family I haven't seen in years. Oh well, I may never see them now. Only at funerals. You knwo the rule.

Granpa 53 is not gonig to let Freddie 55 his grandson post here until hie gets a little older. Not until he quits wetting himself in school. Kindergarten is rough you know. Pecker, we were trying to keep this a family secret. Then you had to go and meet that whore.

Good detective work Matthew. Your gay you know. Why haven't you find the zipper of my pants? I'lll leave clues!

 

[prepstudinsc]

I thought Freddie 54 was working at the 7-11 with Elvis.

 

[madame_zora]

I thought Freddie 54 was working at the 7-11 with Elvis.

Hush, Prep! You're not going to collect that HUGE fee for the funeral service if we admit he's not dead!

 

[Matthew]

Good detective work Matthew. Your gay you know. Why haven't you find the zipper of my pants? I'lll leave clues!

What makes you so sure I haven't? You'd be amazed where I've been sniffing around.

 

[B_horribleperson]

he's dead??? poor guy

 

[GoneA]

He's alive! good. Now I don't have to have those counseling sessions.