Frequency of sex

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Random[SERIOUS] question: if you were in a relationship how often (do you think is acceptable) to have sex of some kind?
And at one point do you raise questions about not having sex? Like how many days, weeks etc?
 
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lapdog2001

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The answer really depends on you and your partner. Hopefully you are sexually compatible, and have sex drives that are reasonably close to each other.

Most of my adult life, sex 2-3 times a week seems to be the pattern, due to working, commuting, errands, etc. How much sex would I like? Daily, but that has only happened when I was was younger and we were on vacation.

The beginnings of a relationship also tended to be more sexually charged for me, so seeing a girlfriend for the night, meant sex typically when we went to bed, and again in the morning. Weekends? Usually 2-3 times. When living together, the average actually stayed the same, 2-3 per week, due to the reasons I mentioned above.

Now, later in life, sex twice a week is more the normal, but even just 1 time happens more than I would like.
Even as an older man, would I like sex daily? Yes, of course, but I am realistic and understanding of our ages, libido, menopause, work, life, etc.
 

Fittishcubdub

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Depends on your relationship, we are emotionally monogamous but play with others too, we both have high sex drives. If hes not getting it elsewhere then he’ll need at least a blowjob from me daily. I need to get fucked around 5 times a week either from him or someone else
 

Sagittarius84

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Random[SERIOUS] question: if you were in a relationship how often (do you think is acceptable) to have sex of some kind?
And at one point do you raise questions about not having sex? Like how many days, weeks etc?
Depends on how you established the relationship, honestly...I'd like to say there's implied physical intimacy that should happen on a semi frequent basis, but I also enter into relationships making it crystal clear how much sexual intimacy is a must.
You can unilaterally say I want sex now and if not, that is your dealbreaker that you are entitled to as an autonomous human being that is part of a relationship; doesn't prevent you from being labeled as a bad person, but that's based upon what you'd like to bear.
I'd suggest you raise the question tomorrow, today even...the sooner the better which allows both you and your partner to make decisions now that you shouldnt resent or regret later.
 

paget54

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44 years of marriage, frequency of sex is not nearly as much as I would like. I really could have sex daily but my wife has all but lost interest.

I've kept a record over the last several years of how often we have sex as a couple. Yes, that's probably very crude but I was curious as to how my life was compared to some averages. I also used this to ensure that when my wife and I discussed the matter, I could speak with facts. So, I record the day when I get a handjob, blowjob, if we have PIV sex, and whether she has an orgasm.

We're currently at more than 5 weeks since our last PIV sex. Yes, I've gotten weekly handjobs, which I have to initiate, during this time but no full-blown sex. In 2021, we had PIV sex 26 times, barely averaging twice monthly and some months not at all.

We've been fully retired for 13 years so free time, stress from work, etc. is clearly not an obstacle. I'm a fit, 68-year old male and she's an active 66-year old woman who weighs 15 pounds more than when we married four decades ago. Neither of us have any chronic diseases. I still find her attractive and LOVE looking at her nude body, the feel of her skin against me, etc.

I've sexually frustrated so take matters into my own hands now as much or more than I did in my youth.

For me, that's sad.
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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As others have mentioned, I think it mostly depends on the needs of individuals and sexual compatibility. If it's one thing I learned both on this site and reading all the other online info out there on relationships, differences in sex drives and frequency desirability seem to be a common complaint with way too many couples. Though I find it unfortunate and it seems like it is second only to finances in causing relationship strife, I'm not sure how well it can be predicted ahead of time and even then, libidos often change once the marriage or relationship is formalized.

I've been fortunate in that our sexual compatibility and needs have almost always coincided throughout over 30 years together and only a handful of times have either one of us declined the other and only during a legit period of illness or not feeling well. While there has been ebbs and flows during our marriage due to life events like work, family, etc., never did either one of us ever feel sexually deprived or libido incompatible. While nowadays at our age and point in our relationship, sex is pretty much limited to twice a week, give or take, and both of us are satisfied with that; neither needing less or more. Though we still have fantastic sex, companionship intimacy has become more a priority than physical intimacy.

I think any long-term relationship that both lasts and thrives will get to the point where satisfaction will mainly come from the little things like daily shows of affection that does not or even mostly, have to lead to sex.
 
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thongboy

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My gf and I are young so it's usually sex of some kind at least twice a day, more on weekends when it's some times a lot more if there's a 3 way or if we're simply in the mood for fucking each other's brains out
 
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EllieP

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I don't remember how long I've been a member here, but I do remember in the early days saying how sex was very important to me in a relationship and at least twice a week seemed to be an optimum number.

Since that time I have seen that frequency wax and wane from daily to maybe monthly. At the beginning of the pandemic it was a few months. He was stressed out over his business and it sure took a toll on his libido.

We're still not back to twice a week, and it's doubtful that we will. But there have been romantic weekends recently where we'll go to a bed and breakfast and not go outdoors for hours and hours!

There's a balance in there somewhere, but I'm not going looking for it. The only thing I'm looking for is the next time!
 

Nickapoo

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I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer because it depends on both of your sex drives. My partner and I have sex 2 or 3 times a day some days and other days not at all. Sometimes it’s just a quick BJ or HJ, sometimes he fucks me like crazy. There’s a lot of factors that play into it as well like how busy we are or whether or not I’m in the mood. My partner has a pretty big cock so unless I’m fully prepared I can’t take it which also effects frequency. Luckily we’re both into edging because sometimes I’ll suck him off until he’s about to cum then I’ll stop and go to bed, or I’ll wake him up by sucking him off and stop before he cums then get ready for work.

I’d say in a healthy adult relationship at least once a week is okay. Most do it more, some do it less. If it’s been a couple weeks and your partner hasn’t made any moves or has rejected your moves it’s totally okay to talk to them about your wants and needs. When my partner and I got together he tried to fuck me all the time… Like we’d be on a hike and he’d go to finger me. I was open and told him how I thought it was really sweet that he wanted to do it all the time cause obviously he’s attracted to me, but that I didn’t want our relationship to revolve around sex. It’s all about communication.
 

professornj

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I think it depends on who your with and how sexually compatible you are everyday possibly.
Fully agree. The only way to know that is to talk about it. What you like, dont like, boundaries, desires, trust, respect, and true needs.