Frequent sex and vaginal soreness

[Nosuportneeded]

My gf has been experiencing some abrasion and rawness with frequent sex. Nothing we can't handle, but I thought I would peruse this area for some tricks or something I hadn't thought of. Obviously taking a break works to let it recover, but it seems to get raw again right away after one session, maybe 30 min. We don't use condoms and prefer coconut oil for lube. Pubic hair is trimmed on me, but no rough stubble. We make an effort to lube often even when she is wet. We have had periods of time where we had vigorous sex everyday with 0 issues. It seems that after a few days break she becomes more vulnerable to abrasion, almost as if regular sex keeps her vaginal opening "conditioned" and less prone to abrasion, but we are having trouble getting back to that point. Thanks.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Ok, you are using abrasion, and I speak anatomy, so I have to ask, are there really abraided areas, or is that a description of sensation?

I do get microtearing, from any size partner because my own lube seems to think its a rationed product.
My test if they are tears? How much did it hurt to pee?
For microtears, having some extra lube to use just at the muscle ring and entry skin helps, if I rememebr to do it. It can be a spot application on me or a schmeer 2/3 up his shaft. Both work about the same.
It's one reason I keep all my pubic hair, too. Helps the slide.

For just a long time of in and out, change positions, toss in more oral, anything that creates a few seconds less stroking, and changes the friction points. Especially if you are somewhat oval for your shaft.
With my partner of size, the changes can be as small as hiking a hip differently. Just a couple degrees of change helps, if we really don't want to stop. (And we have hiking planned the next day. Ouch.)

One more trouble shooting spot is the coconut oil. For some people, it clogs pores.
Try a couple days with olive oil to see if you might be making small zits that then pop. Again, ouch.
Softened shea works, too.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Ok, you are using abrasion, and I speak anatomy, so I have to ask, are there really abraided areas, or is that a description of sensation?

I do get microtearing, from any size partner because my own lube seems to think its a rationed product.
My test if they are tears? How much did it hurt to pee?
For microtears, having some extra lube to use just at the muscle ring and entry skin helps, if I rememebr to do it. It can be a spot application on me or a schmeer 2/3 up his shaft. Both work about the same.
It's one reason I keep all my pubic hair, too. Helps the slide.

For just a long time of in and out, change positions, toss in more oral, anything that creates a few seconds less stroking, and changes the friction points. Especially if you are somewhat oval for your shaft.
With my partner of size, the changes can be as small as hiking a hip differently. Just a couple degrees of change helps, if we really don't want to stop. (And we have hiking planned the next day. Ouch.)

One more trouble shooting spot is the coconut oil. For some people, it clogs pores.
Try a couple days with olive oil to see if you might be making small zits that then pop. Again, ouch.
Softened shea works, too.

It gets red and feels "raw." When washing after, the water stings a bit. When I mix in oral sometimes I can taste the affected area that gets raw. It tastes slightly metallic as I would expect. I only assume that it is abrasion, as in removal of skin due to friction. It has bled but usually not.

Thank you for replying with your suggestions. I employ most of the methods you mentioned and accept that it is probably "just one of those things" that has to be dealt with by using patience and self control in addition to lube, variety, and gentleness

 

[Nosuportneeded]

It's just frustrating because at other times I was amazed at how much we could have sex without a problem. I have experienced this with other women and was very pleased to find that we were not having the same problem, but alas, now we are.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Well, I don't have the problem all the time.
One more thing to think about, hydration. Mucous membranes are the first to dry up.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

And may I ask age?

 

[Nosuportneeded]

I'm 37.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Just kidding, she's 22. I like the hydration bit. We always use lube too. My plan is to take a break and ensure we are starting out with a fully healed and healthy vaginal opening. Then begin with only a few minutes (10?) of intercourse, per session. See how it goes and increase if possible. We have done something like this, but i think we need to be more diligent and regemented about it. Wait longer (2-3 days) and keep the sessions shorter.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Other option, big toy.
I had to go that route as my partner and I are distance.
And I have a case of elasto bits.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Big toy always helps me.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Now why didn't I think of that? I like to get toys that are a little smaller than myself usually, but in this case I should probably shoot for the same size, eh?

Thank you.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Just under. Makes the flesh special.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Good answer

 

[AlteredEgo]

I like to use one a little longer, and the same or thinner girth. I find being prepared for a little more length means I can enjoy a more vigorous go with my dude. I learned that with men, not toys. The eureka moment came when a well-endowed dude with a couple of inches less than a previous partner of mine expressed mixed feelings about me being able to enjoy a significantly harder fucking than any previous partner he'd had. I realized that frequent sex with one, had prepared me for the other.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

I like to use one a little longer, and the same or thinner girth. I find being prepared for a little more length means I can enjoy a more vigorous go with my dude. I learned that with men, not toys. The eureka moment came when a well-endowed dude with a couple of inches less than a previous partner of mine expressed mixed feelings about me being able to enjoy a significantly harder fucking than any previous partner he'd had. I realized that frequent sex with one, had prepared me for the other.

I don't really have to worry about my length. I believe it is the girth (which is not huge, just healthy) that eventually causes irritation and rawness around the opening. I think the angles play into it also. It feels good to change angles and not always go straight in, but I can feel a lot more friction and stretch, which I'm sure can contribute to the problem. Now I just have to bring a tape measure to the porn shop!

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Nope. Fingers lightly at the base, mark your arm.
Ha.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Nope. Fingers lightly at the base, mark your arm.
Ha.

Double-ha. You're funny. The search is on, but there's not much to choose from around these parts.

I think I've got the girth decided but am I wrong in thinking that the toy being too long won't be a problem? She can use as much or as little length as she wants, right? I mean, I guess I should be asking her, but what do you think?

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Yep. Ask her.
I'm thinking there are orings that function as stoppers. Ask at the shop. (Or the online vendor)

And, I'd be perturbed by a surprise fake dick.

How do you think she will react?

 

[Scarletbegonia]

To clarify, length is secondary. If too long, look to stoppers.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Yep. Ask her.
I'm thinking there are orings that function as stoppers. Ask at the shop. (Or the online vendor)

And, I'd be perturbed by a surprise fake dick.

How do you think she will react?

We've been talking about it already. Not in detail of the size strategy. She said "duh, I told you that." As in she suggested a dildo for when I'm not around and that it may help. We had one that was about 6" L x 4.5" G, so we've played with them for fun, but not as "maintainence." We are very comfy, I'm confident that I could surprise her with a sex toy and she would be fine with it, but this dildo is not a surprise.