Friend causing relationship issues

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by nacard01, Apr 21, 2005.

  1. nacard01

    nacard01 Member

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    Here is the deal.

    One of my male friends likes me.
    More accurately he likes what I have between my legs.
    I have no problem talking about my penis but even he is pushing my limits.
    I have tried explaining to him that he can ask whatever he wants but nothing is going to happen as I respect my relationship too much to wander into those waters.

    The dilemma I am facing is simply this....He has gone far enough to suggest that he wouldnt be against trying to cause issues between me and my BF dilliberately just to make me single and available. This causes serious issues for me. He has openly told me that he is a size queen and his attraction to men stems from that and other attractions. I dont have a problem with another guy wanting me, but this is too much. I have asked him nicely to respect my wishes and just be my friend. I'm at the point where I'm afraid if I tell him that I dont want anything to do with him, he will try to get at Peter. The worst part of this is Peter's jealousy and commitment issues. He HATES it with a passion when a guy hits on me or even talks to me. If my friend said something to Peter, Peter would partly believe him no matter what I said. I dont want to deal with that so I need some type of alternative solution. Does anyone have any thoughts in the matter please? I would be happy to explain more about my friend's personality or whatever it would take. Thank you for your time.


    Naters
     
  2. Imported

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    neuromancer:
    You don't sound interested in this guy at all. That, and given the fact that you are in a relationship that you sound like you want to stay in - the solution is easy.

    GOTTA TELL THE FRIEND TO TAKE A HIKE

    Let your other half know what is going on too. The fact that you punt this guy away will win you points with the BF. ;)
     
  3. Imported

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    neuromancer:
    You don't sound interested in this guy at all. That, and given the fact that you are in a relationship that you sound like you want to stay in - the solution is easy.

    GOTTA TELL THE FRIEND TO TAKE A HIKE

    Let your other half know what is going on too. The fact that you punt this guy away will win you points with the BF. ;)
    [post=303034]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    One other thing. Stop talking about your dick with this guy. If he is a size queen and you are hung, its like feeding vodka to an alcoholic. You are being a tease in a sense.
     
  4. taven

    taven Member

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    Preemptive strike: Tell your partner what's going on and about the threat to cause trouble so you'll be single and available.
     
  5. Bananaman

    Bananaman New Member

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    Taven's 100% right, & I love the way he put it. I'd have said "Head 'em off at the pass" or something equally silly, but the point's the same.

    B-man
     
  6. Imported

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    kracken: This will sound harsh, but tell your so called friend (because he isn't acting like one if he's going to try and break you and Peter up) to go jump in a deep fat fryer.

    Then tell Peter what is going on. Jealousy issues or not, it's better that Peter hear it from YOU than from that piss poor excuse of a "friend."

    If Peter doesn't believe you, then you have deeper issues than a rampant size queen.



    Kracken
    Gay, Jewish and Republican - - and you think YOU have problems :D
     
  7. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    I’ll go with the previous advice with one difference. I would tell Peter a couple of days in advance then tell your friend to go jump in a deep fat fryer. By doing it in this order you prevent a couple of possible problems (such as your “friend” getting to him first with a lie or any one of a host of similar problems)
     
  8. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    Like they said, ditch the creep. Also, tell your bf about what's going on, and well it seems like the other guy is bothersome, so warn him he might try and lie, as hard as it may sound. Just don't lose your bf to some bothersome twit.
     
  9. funcub

    funcub New Member

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    I think they've all said it pretty well. Let Peter know right away what is going on. As BFs, you two should be sharing things with each other besides your dick. With him on your side, he might even tell the other guy to leave you alone. And the other guy really isn't your friend if he said all of this to you.
     
  10. Dr Rock

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    I'm afraid you don't need to TALK about it to people like this - once they know about it from whatever source, they'll never leave the issue alone with you or anyone else. it's pretty pathetic, but it rapidly becomes too annoying to leave much room for pitying them. I don't even have committed relationships and it still pisses me off.
     
  11. DC_DEEP

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    <!--QuoteBegin-dolf250
    @Apr 22 2005, 02:08 AM
    I’ll go with the previous advice with one difference. I would tell Peter a couple of days in advance then tell your friend to go jump in a deep fat fryer. By doing it in this order you prevent a couple of possible problems (such as your “friend” getting to him first with a lie or any one of a host of similar problems)
    [post=303229]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]

    This combo of advice is right on. First, tell your partner of the problem. Second, get rid of the acquaintance (not friend) causing the problem. Third, have some serious discussion with your partner regarding the jealousy issue. A tiny bit of jealousy is a good thing, it shows caring. Too much jealousy is unhealthy for the individual and the relationship. A relationship CANNOT be healthy without trust.
     
  12. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    As has already been said, tell Peter BEFORE you say anything to this so called friend. Anyone willing to break up a relationship is not a friend, get rid of him for good.
     
  13. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Yeah I pretty much agree w/everyone here...Ditch the friend and tell your boy what the other guy is trying to do...You also need to work your boy about his trust and insecurity issues...I know that would drive me crazy unless you have given him cause in the past to worry...
     
  14. Imported

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    carolinacurious: Yeah, everybody&#39;s right&#33; (better save that because I don&#39;t forsee saying it again any time soon)

    Tell your boyfriend first then ditch the guy who is NOT your friend.

    Yes, friends sometimes get attracted to you. (and can still remain friends)

    Yes, friends sometimes proposition you. (and can still remain friends)

    When this guy threatened your relationship, and in a particularly underhanded manner, any possible pretense of friendship was destroyed.
     
  15. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Carolinacurious is right - I really don&#39;t think this guy is a friend of yours because he is trying to hurt you and a friend is someone that is their for you to help and not hurt...And I have had friends that I know are attracted to me (which is weird because my friends are "straight")...But I usually make sure I never give them the opportunity to act on it because I value friends more than getting uncomfortable that someone likes me a little more than friends...

    Actually just happened to me this past weekend when I was at a friends late night party at his house...I was pretty wasted and thought I was just having a great conversation w/a friend when being naive not paying attention how close the guy had got to me and how he was looking at me and like a light bulb came on I realized this guy was kinda on hitting on me...And it really clicked because I had just earlier that night reconnected w/this girl that I liked and she was during the exact thing he was when I saw here at this other house party...I actually found it kind of flattering because I had no idea but I did get up and leave before he got too many ideas because I know he was pretty wasted himself...
     
  16. Imported

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    Goon: Give your friend a Kris Lord dildo and a tube of Krazy Glue with a "Wet Platinum" label pasted on it.

    Seriously though, you already got great advice. This dude isn&#39;t a friend.
     
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