Friend dumped me because I'm straight!

[Garth33]

In the "fag hag" vs. "fruit fly" debate, my college friends and I decided they had slightly different meanings. A fag hag is a woman who wants to sleep with her gay friend. On WILL & GRACE, Grace is a fag hag. If Will came home one day and said he wanted to try being straight, Grace would be all over it. A fruit fly (also called a fairy tail) is a woman who likes hanging out with gay men but has *no* interest in them. Karen is a fruit fly

OH BOY! FruitFly is NOT going to happy with this definition AT ALL!:biggrin1:

 

[Penis Aficionado]

For what it's worth, Karen is my favorite person in the history of TV.

 

[Principessa]

NJ, maybe you're right-- so if she contacts me again and let's say she wants to talk, but she's still not comfortable, should I continue communicating with her?

Or should I try to stay away because I'd be allowing her to put herself in danger (and possibly myself)?

I don't know. I honestly don't know what to tell you. :redface:

Hmmm, Madea gives some good advice.

 

[D_Juan Tootree]

Move on with it. It's just a lame internet relationship that can never go anywhere anyway. She was looking for a token gay friend that she could not feel akward around, and you didn't end up being what she was looking for.

A word of advice though, don't waste your time around women that are leading you on and not showing any signs of interest. If she truly was interested in you, she would have met you the first time. You save alot of time down the road when you learn to stop messing around and chatting and sending messages to girls who will never really be interested in a relationship or discreet metting.

And try meeting girls in person, they normally get weirded out meeting guys off the internet...

 

[Zero_Cool]

If she truly was interested in you, she would have met you the first time. You save alot of time down the road when you learn to stop messing around and chatting and sending messages to girls who will never really be interested in a relationship or discreet metting.

Actually, it was usually my schedule that put a damper on plans. She was the one who tried to make plans with me most of the time. You seem to think I was often begging for her attention, but I'm not sure where you got that from.

Internet relationships are lame, I'll give you that, and this one was too. But I'm not so sure it wouldn't have gone anywhere (to an ACTUAL friendship), because she did show interest, that's the reason I was so dumbfounded at first.



NJ-- Thank you anyway. I'll just have to decide which is best if that time comes, which it probably won't.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Alright, look. I gotta call some bullshit. I'm a bit concerned that people are associating straight guys with being incapable of having solid, platonic relationships with women and that anytime you get us around a walking vagina, we can't think of anything but fucking. It's just not true.

To be fair, at least here in America, we're probably a bit quick to judge sexuality. Some people confuse me for being gay because I have half a fashion sense (thanks to working in retail for a while) and because I don't ogle a woman's breasts when I talk to her. Heh, quit thinking I bat for the pink team and understand that single mothers raise their sons to be highly respectful toward women. That's what I say.

There's this girl that I had statistics class with this past semester. She worked for the Democratic party, and we would talk quite a bit after class about Obama and the presidential race. Turns out we have some research interests in common. We hung out more and got to be fast friends. She felt really embarrassed when I told her that I was straight. I told her not to worry; I said, straight-faced, if I became interested in her, I'd let her know. (I make it a rule to date away from the university.)

See, this is why I'm a fan of the direct approach. If you're interested in someone, just lay it out there and say so. The worst thing you face isn't rejection; it's dawdling like an idiot because you just don't know how the other person feels about you.

Zero, you're spot on; you've got great interpersonal skills that women respond to positively, for the most part, so you shouldn't put those on hold. Trust me. Don't let this one woman strip you of that. And if this girl, or anybody else for that matter, drops you without fair warning, then that means automatically you're better off without that person in your life. No one deserves to be treated like that.

 

[Adam875]

Willtom's and others' perceptions make total sense. Hetero, and married for that matter, women are comfortable and 'safe' with gay men, they value them as friends with no 'hidden agenda'. And their boyfriends/partners/husbands can (in most cases) be happy with it too, feeling quite unthreatened. That's my experience, anyway.

In fact, the only problems I've ever had have been on the other side of the fence, so to speak: women feeling 'safe' with me but worrying that I might nick their man. Perhaps they have a point, but it's never quite happened ...

 

[kiltiesf]

I too agree with most of what has said here. Please allow me to contribute my two cents.Before you jump to conclusions as to why she hasn't reponded, give her the opportunity to explain,as many here have provide valid reasons for her lack of response.

The feedback that I have received from my straight female friends as to why they have close relationships with gay men and have intimate discussions that they wouldn't dream of having with a straight man, is gay men are not viewed as a threat; emotionally or physically.

I have experienced jealousy from husbands/boyfriends because their wives/girlfriends often used our relationship to point out the emotional shortcomings or oversights that most straight men aren't gifted with. Allow me to take this one step further and say that not gay men have or desire an emotionally intimate friendship with women.

Wish her well, and hope that her lack of response is due to a lost phone.

All the best,

Kiltie