Friending Etiquette

[B_subgirrl]

I hate it when people I've never talked to send me friends requests. I feel mean rejecting them, but I don't want them on my damn friends list! I do end up rejecting them though. 'Who the fuck are you? Piss off!' pretty much sums up the mental process.

If I've talked to someone a few times on the forums and they send me a request, I'll usually accept it. The 'I feel mean' is usually stronger here than the 'Who the fuck are you?' And sometimes I even like them!

But my preference would be that people not send me a friend request until we actually knew each other reasonably well. Call me old fashioned, but I would like 'friend' to actually mean that. Instead 'friend' seems to be used these days for people I would consider to be acquaintances or less.

 

[luka82]

I hate random friend requests.
Guys are forgiven only if they have big dicks

 

[curious_angel]

I don't feel offended by random friend requests. If anything they're kinda flattering. I do expect, however, that if I've never heard from the random requester, he/she should likewise find no offense in me ignoring the request.

.........

^this.

Plus, a friend list is useful if you have private albums. It ensures that only an appropriate level of pervert* can gain access to private pics.

*To all my friends - no offense intended. You are all, of course, top quality perverts.

 

[petite]

I have photos and a blog that is only accessible by people on my friend's list. Probably only 5 of the people on my friend's list reads my blog, but I really don't mind that. I'd rather have a very tiny readership of people then leave it public, which I find inhibits me and prevents me from being able to express myself freely.

I'm not offended by random friend requests, but if I don't know who you are and I don't know anything about you and we haven't interacted, I won't add you. I need to feel like I have some sort of idea of who you are before I give you access to get to know me better. Make sense?

 

[B_subgirrl]

Probably only 5 of the people on my friend's list reads my blog, but I really don't mind that.

Would it be weird to admit that I keep an eye out for when you've posted new ones? Speaking of which, we're about due for one :tongue:

 

[petite]

Would it be weird to admit that I keep an eye out for when you've posted new ones? Speaking of which, we're about due for one :tongue:

Really? I had no idea you ever read it! :smile:

I've been meaning to update it.

 

[D_Tewre Tittyboom]

Conversations via PM prior to a request is how I like to be approached. At first, I accepted requests without conversations, but I've started to reject those who don't message me first.

As you can tell by my signature

 

[B_subgirrl]

Really? I had no idea you ever read it! :smile:

I've been meaning to update it.

I'm too lazy too leave comments, but believe me, I'm reading :biggrin1:

 

[petite]

I feel violated when these people contact me, and it always tracks back to the same damn' person. It's possible to love your friends, and still want to strangle them.

This sort of thing has happened to me over and over again, except not with one person, but lots of them. Some of the nicest, sweetest, most well-meaning people can be so naive and innocent that they cause you no end of problems when it comes to keeping your privacy because they just can't seem to help but be too friendly and talkative and it just never occurs to them that they shouldn't do it. I know I seem paranoid to some people, but the most harmless people ever are usually the ones who end up telling the people I would never fucking trust the actual specific information that I don't want them to have, like where I work or where I can be found on Tuesdays at 11PM, with lots of details and unasked for information included, like who I'm dating or hanging out with lately or even where I live! Seriously, stuff that a real friend should already know and should set off alarm bells if someone gets that specific with their questions that that person is obviously pumping them for information, but it's always the ones who have just a little bit of darkness in them who get suspicious first and tell me someone is acting in a fishy way and who don't talk, and it's always the sweetest and most innocent who never think twice about why someone has been asking questions about me for an hour and who will answer every question as well as they can and walk away thinking, "That was such a nice person," and never even mention that interaction to me because it just doesn't register as suspicious to them.

Over time I've slowly become more and more careful and more and more protective of myself. It's hard to explain to people that you really do trust in a "I know that you would never intentionally hurt me" sort of way that you won't reveal certain bits of personal information about yourself to them because of past experiences with other perfectly nice and well-meaning people.

Anyway, I've gone off topic a bit, but it's one of the reasons why I don't feel comfortable keeping my journal open to the public, even though I really don't reveal much private information in there either! I've just learned over time to be very careful.

 

[petite]

I'm too lazy too leave comments, but believe me, I'm reading :biggrin1:

Aw! :hug:

Okay, I'll update. There's actually something that I've been meaning to write about and I wasn't sure if I just wanted to make it a blog post or create a thread about it. I think I'll make it a blog post first, and continue to think about whether I should make a thread about it.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Aw! :hug:

Okay, I'll update. There's actually something that I've been meaning to write about and I wasn't sure if I just wanted to make it a blog post or create a thread about it. I think I'll make it a blog post first, and continue to think about whether I should make a thread about it.

Yay!

 

[double_digit]

Conversations via PM prior to a request is how I like to be approached. At first, I accepted requests without conversations, but I've started to reject those who don't message me first.

As you can tell by my signature

All well and good, but it leaves you open to that 1:500 ratio rule...

Guaranteed, 1 time out of 500 attempts; this will get him laid:

"Hi. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck like weasels on poppers?"

Now, to carry this further and to expand on my reasoning that this is a horrible defense - positive reinforcement. Now that puppy's had his bone buried in a few yards, he will continue this pattern of behavior and questioning because it bears out statistically in his favor - every pup wants their day in the sunshine, eh? ;D

Methinks you are still going to suffer from rude, random "hits" and requests. But it's good that you are asserting your needs and tastes in contacts. It's about the only way that you can avoid the stalky-clingy types or at least - gauge their reaction to your policies and "profile" them against behaviors that *turn you off* or make that gut instinct cringe. Decide from there how further contact should be made IF at all.