Suck my dick. Suck my dick through a convenience store spoon-straw. Suck my dick til my head explodes. While you're at it, suck my asshole. Just be sure not to forget to suck. My. Dick.
In the immortal words of the late, great Wesley Willis, suck a race horse's bootyhole.
Suck dead donkey dicks. Suck live donkey dicks. Suck my dick like you're one of Jerry's kids, sucking for the antidote. Suck my dick like you're suck-starting a Harley. Suck my dick like you're trying to suck chrome off the motherfucking tailpipe.
Suck my dick like you don't get free refills. Suck my dick with meaning and purpose. Suck my dick with the devotion an elderly, deaf/mute nun has for our lord, Jesus Christ.
Suck my dick like it's national Steak and Blowjob day. Suck my dick like you'll get a coupon afterwards for $0.10 off Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers (when you buy a dozen). Suck my dick like you was raised in the ghetto and there's grape drink inside. Sugar. Water. Purple.
Suck my dick like you'se payin' the rent. Suck my dick like there's a bitchslap coming to you if you don't do a good enough job. Ho. Suck my dick like you're going for Olympic Gold, representing all of America's Synchronized Deepthroating team after a tragic airplane crash that forced them all into cannibalism... It's all up to you, man... Bottom of the ninth... Time to suck that dick like a choirboy that's been given a whole dollar not to tell mommy.
Suck my dick like that promotion depends on it. That glass ceiling ain't gonna break itself, now is it, toots? That's right, on your knees, smile like a doughnut. And fondle my balls while you're at it... That's right, twaddle them around like the awe-inspiring orbs of sheer perfection that they are. Note that they are smooth as eggs. This is all for you, my cock hungry, dick sucking slut.
That's right... Take that carpet python deep into your phlegmy love canal. Feel that surge of shame and glory as it swirls into your gullet in the form of my exquisite semen.
Suck my fucking dick. I may have confused you there with that previous tangent... Allow me to set us back on the right track, the path of righteousness. Keep your eye on the prize, here, Junior... Suck my dick. While you're at it, suck Bill Clinton's dick. All the cool kids are doing it. Suck my dick like the fate of the world, nay, UNIVERSE is riding on it. Just like I'll be riding your face, cocksucker.
Suck my fucking dick. Suck my fucking, goddamn dick. Suck my fucking, goddamn, shit-drenched dick. Suck my fucking, goddamn, shit-drenched, smegma marinated dick, you cum guzzling gutter slut. Suck my fucking, goddamn, shit-drenched, smegma marinated, booger smeared dick, you cum guzzling, $2 gutter slut in polyester pants.
Knock, knock. Who's there? My dick. My dick who? Suck it, bitch.
Break's over, time to suck my dick. Hop to it, chop chop. We're burning daylight here, people. Precious moments where the aforesaid party, hereafter referred to as "you," could be sucking the penis that shall be hereafter referred to as "mine."
Suck my dick like the two of us are stranded on a desert island, and through the illusion of a mirage, you mistake it for a vessel containing the elixir necessary for your very survival. Suck my dick like you rolled a 20 or something in D & D and somehow your Slutwench has to suck off my Cockwizard, while simultaneously casting a healing spell. I call D.M., chulo.
Suck my dick like you've lost some kind of contest or another and you have to pretend to be Liberace for a day.
Suck my dick in drag on Fountain Square. Suck my dick in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Suck my dick on one of the Great Sphynx's paws. Suck my dick on the constellation Draco. Suck my dick in the Crab Nebula. Suck my dick like you're searching for truth, justice, and the American way. Niggas.
"Suck my dick," said the prickety prick, a persnickety, crickety, rickety prick.
"I do not suck Green Dicks and Spam, I do not, will not, Mr. Shammity Sham."
"Nonsense, come and suck this dick," and he drew out his cock, and he drew it out quick, "now onto the floor, I say, don't be shy. And suck my old dick, go on, give it a try! Suck it like you need a meal, suck it with a burst of zeal! Suck it 'til the shit turns teal! Suck it for me, here and there, suck it through my underwear. Suck it for me, day and night, suck it with your lips so tight. Suck it with a fashionable flair, until I shoot it in your hair. Yes, you've got it! Here's the spunk! Enough that it should get you drunk! I'll fill your tummy with my goo, and, perhaps, your eyeballs, too!"
In closing, without further ado, forsaking all others,
SUCK MY DICK.
Thnx,
Mgmt
