Friendly advice for N00bs

[Knockernail]

It just so happens that I'm on my way to Hicktown (Spain) right now, Knock! I need to borrow a hammer. I heard you're the man to see? :wink: :tongue:

Dear Matthew, allow me one thing
i´m the hammer, sledgehammer
got the nail to go in deep
didn´t know it? what a drama!

Come with me on your own way
we will play at Bowlarama
balls and bowls, sticks and tales
we will sweat like if we´re gonna

take your time and come to Spain
know that building, Barcelona?
i think they´ll call it knockernail
that´s my name, and i´m the hammer

:tongue:

 

[Fireballs]

Suck my dick. Suck my dick through a convenience store spoon-straw. Suck my dick til my head explodes. While you're at it, suck my asshole. Just be sure not to forget to suck. My. Dick...

...In closing, without further ado, forsaking all others,
SUCK MY DICK.

Thnx,

Mgmt

Ha! That looks like fun!
"Welcome to suck-my-dicks-ville!
Population: you!"

"Suck my fucking dick.
Suck it so hard, I'll think your
mouth is a black hole."

Heh! "Roses are red.
Violets are blue. Time to
suck my fucking dick."

 

[madame_zora]

Ha! That looks like fun!
"Welcome to suck-my-dicks-ville!
Population: you!"

"Suck my fucking dick.
Suck it so hard, I'll think your
mouth is a black hole."

Heh! "Roses are red.
Violets are blue. Time to
suck my fucking dick."

Priceless gems indeed!
To remain true to the form
"Suck my bulging dick!"

Writing in haiku
brings mathematical reason
to the dumbest things.

 

[headbang8]

Writing in haiku
brings mathematical reason
to the dumbest things.

OK Fireballs. Love your style. Love your work. Love you madly. So I'm gonna flame you, lovingly.

You ain't haikuing. You're just carrying on a conversation with limited syllables.

A real haiku describes a precise moment in time--a small, beautiful, crystalline observation--so precisely that the reader can't help but know exactly what you're talking about, and evoke in him the same feelings as you felt when you observed it. And the three separate thoughts aren't really supposed to run on from line to line in a sentence.

For example, here's my haiku for today:

Carton of skim milk
Expiry date long ago
Crunchy Cheerios

Balls squeezed between legs
Subway passengers looking
Fiddle discreetly

Beneath the covers
I lick my lover's nipple
I see his dick grow

Cheap health insurance
Prescription filled yesterday
The pills ate my lunch

Yes, it's very hard to write a genuine haiku that's not dull.

 

[fortiesfun]

Carton of skim milk
Expiry date long ago
Crunchy Cheerios

Balls squeezed between legs
Subway passengers looking
Fiddle discreetly

Beneath the covers
I lick my lover's nipple
I see his dick grow

Cheap health insurance
Prescription filled yesterday
The pills ate my lunch

Nice ones! The third is especially good. :wink:

 

[Fireballs]

A real haiku describes a precise moment in time--a small, beautiful, crystalline observation--so precisely that the reader can't help but know exactly what you're talking about, and evoke in him the same feelings as you felt when you observed it.

Such observations
do not lend themselves so well
to conversation.

Posting true haiku
Would clutter up lots of threads
with non-sequiturs.

Technic'ly, you're right,
so let me change the subject.
Have you seen this thread?

 

[Gillette]

Bump. Seemed timely.

First four pages deserve to be reread.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

If you're a newbie do not send abusive messages to the women on this site particularly when you have no photos and no post history, and then do not complain she's harrassing you when you sent her a nasty pm and she retaliated telling you to fuck a blender.

 

[Osiris]

If you're a newbie do not send abusive messages to the women on this site particularly when you have no photos and no post history, and then do not complain she's harrassing you when you sent her a nasty pm and she retaliated telling you to fuck a blender.

*FedExs the old Cuisinart blender and food processor to SP*

Here milady. Perhaps you can put these to good use. The wife just got new toys for the kitchen. :evil:

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

You're a true gentleman Osiris

 

[Osiris]

You're a true gentleman Osiris

*Drops a few Godivas in the bag for good measure.*

Some goodies to enjoy the torture with. :wink:

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

It's my birthday tomorrow so I'll wolf them down then

 

[B_hakingsley]

So glad everyone is offering "friendly" advice for n00bs. Comes across as disingenuous. Distilling it all down, here's what I got out of it:

1) Keep your opinions to yourself
2) Bow down before all who came before you
3) Resign yourself to your lowly position, if you've followed (1) and (2) properly - otherwise ...
4) You will promptly be banned.

Thanks so much. Helpful.

 

[Mem]

So glad everyone is offering "friendly" advice for n00bs. Comes across as disingenuous. Distilling it all down, here's what I got out of it:
1) Keep your opinions to yourself
2) Bow down before all who came before you
3) Resign yourself to your lowly position, if you've followed (1) and (2) properly - otherwise ...
4) You will promptly be banned.
Thanks so much. Helpful.

That is an interesting observation.

Some one put it to me this way. I'll paraphrase.


The people that have been here longer feel like they own the place.
They forget that they were disliked when they got here.
But they only forgot once they were with the "in" crowd.

He also had some valuable advice.

He said he noticed that people had ganged up on me, and that I had been made the scapegoat.
He said that I was "maybe" not going about it the right way. (The maybe was his word, he is a very kind and considerate person)
He told me to slow down a bit and try to fit in better.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I was never disliked untill after I was in that so called group. Now I'm not in the group. Many people dislike me for voicing my opinions. Thats life. You wont see me crying about it, or bitching to another forum about it. I'm an adult I can handle myself as so.

 

[B_hakingsley]

Well, perhaps some "friendly" advice for those in the in-crowd is advised as a counterweight:

Get over yourselves.

Or, close off the site to new members altogether and sit around telling each other how great you are until you cease to be.

Either is better than inviting new people in only to offer helpful suggestions like telling them to keep their opinions to themselves.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Well, perhaps some "friendly" advice for those in the in-crowd is advised as a counterweight:

Get over yourselves.

Or, close off the site to new members altogether and sit around telling each other how great you are until you cease to be.

Either is better than inviting new people in only to offer helpful suggestions like telling them to keep their opinions to themselves.

Oh dear.. not what I ment at all. We love most new people. Those that join in, share, are poilte, and respect others. It's the ones that abuse their membership, send nasty pm's, and start 50 polls in a week that we can't stand. By all means please keep posting.

 

[Mem]

Well, perhaps some "friendly" advice for those in the in-crowd is advised as a counterweight:

Get over yourselves.

Or, close off the site to new members altogether and sit around telling each other how great you are until you cease to be.

Either is better than inviting new people in only to offer helpful suggestions like telling them to keep their opinions to themselves.

I love your style.

I left for about a year because of the way I was treated when I was a "noob". (the word seems more like nobody that a newbie.)

Now I am back and am a noob again, I have met a few nice people and some not so nice.

You don't have to keep your opinions to yourself.

You do have to watch yourself. People try to "bait" you into arguments.
You do as they do, and you get in trouble and they don't.

I have learned that you can disagree, just don't curse at people and try to keep calm.

Don't let it get personal, I have made that mistake here before.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I don't think I was disliked when I first got here and I've never tailored my opinions to fit in with what anyone else thinks, and I always make an effort to be welcoming to newbies. I think a lot of the 'persecuted newbie' syndrome is imagined.

 

[Osiris]

I was never disliked untill after I was in that so called group. Now I'm not in the group. Many people dislike me for voicing my opinions. Thats life. You wont see me crying about it, or bitching to another forum about it. I'm an adult I can handle myself as so.

I don't hate you for being opinionated...

I hate you because you are gorgeous. :wink::biggrin1:

It's my birthday tomorrow so I'll wolf them down then

OMG!! I forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SP!!!!