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Friends but don't touch....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_thickjohnny, Aug 3, 2010.

  1. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny Banned

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    When you go from ex to friend but the ex wants to play how do you politely say no? I am having that problem and don't want to hurt his feelings but I'm just not attracted to him physically and he thinks that even though we broke up we can still cuddle and touch and play. I don't.

    What's your advice on this?

    Thanks
     
  2. zpacifico

    zpacifico Well-Known Member

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    Tell him honestly what you think, then when you see his reaction you will know weather the friendship is really an option, unless you of course still have some sex-related cravings and want to keep that on stand by untill you feel ready for it.
     
  3. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny Banned

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    That's it! I still have something but at the moment I'm just not interested. Plus he's not really "friendly" if that makes sense. He's not gentle with me in other words. He does not like to be romantic or sweet about anything. He's rough and he does not like full on kissing. I've told him that this really bothers me - that someone refusing to kiss is equal, in my eyes, as disinterest. It's a totally confusing situation.
     
  4. helgaleena

    Gold Member

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    The confusing thing is that he is not listening to what you say and yet you STILL 'don't want to hurt his feelings'... why not? He is hurting yours.
     
  5. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Well-Known Member

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    What do you want? I don’t get the feeling that you really want to be his friend, although you might reasonably want to continue to be pleasant, polite, and respectful. When a sexual relationship is over, it’s typical – I thought – for it to be over. That seems to be what you want.

    If you are allowing yourself to be manipulated, if your are wallowing in guilt, you need to address that issue. It sounds as if you didn’t really have that much going with him.

    I would let it go and stick with NO.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl Banned

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    I remained friends with one of my ex's. I would have liked to be friends with more, but they don't seem able to handle it.

    Just tell him no. If he won't listen, it really isn't going to work for you.
     
  7. rugger89

    rugger89 Well-Known Member

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    the guy i was dating asked to be friends with benifits after i broke it off...i told him no...seriously just tell him. If he throws a fit about it then hes just a twat and ur better of without him as a friend cause he clearly doesnt respect u enough.
     
  8. Brick7

    Brick7 Well-Known Member

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    If this is the same guy from your previous discussions, I don't envy you. He seems to have trouble understanding the word "no".
    You need to tell him he's an "ex" for a reason and define the boundaries of your new relationship. If he can't respect the boundaries then he can't be part of your life.
    Why you continue to have any kind of relationship with him is beyond my understanding but it's your life.
     
  9. DiscoBoy

    DiscoBoy Well-Known Member

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    If this is still the same dude, why are you even still talking to him? I think your relationship with him is completely unhealthy.

    Do yourself a favour and drop him.

    If it's not the same dude, then just be completely upfront with the person. Tell him you don't see him in that way and would rather not do the things he keeps trying to do. You're doing him a disservice otherwise.
     
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