"Friends" who go crazy when they find out

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by gayguy777, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. gayguy777

    gayguy777 New Member

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    I’m sorry if there’s a thread like this already but on dial up you get tired of waiting searching. So yesterday I was out doing some shopping and had 3 guys that I know start talking to me, Nothing new until one of them ask if I was gay. I don’t hide it anymore so I said yeah I am why? They all flipped out and started yelling. Me being the big pussy I am I just walked off but they all followed me continuing to yell things like “Fag” “Queer” “I cant believe you like to have dick in your ass!” It’s not that I’m shocked this happened . I guess I was just taken aback that they were such immature jerks about the whole thing. So my question to you is have you ever had a person(s) you thought you knew turn out to big a big jerk once they found out you were gay/bi?
     
  2. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

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    First of all they are not your friends.

    Friends would not let your sexuality be any of their business, in other words they would not ask, next friends would not follow you around calling you names.

    My best advice, next time someone ask you, just pretend you did not hear, and now for those who you thought were your friends blow em off and don't have anything to do with them
     
  3. gayguy777

    gayguy777 New Member

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    Great advice thanks
     
  4. alex8.5

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    Don't ever think immature, ignorant asses like that are your friends. They are not worth knowing. It seems to me this bordered on gay bashing. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'll never understand the need for some folks to try and demean others. They must really feel worthless about themselves.
     
  5. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    He doesn't even deserve to be called friend. He should accept you as you are, if he really cares about you. This behaviour can be accepted from an early teen, not from a mature man.

    This is a painful but effective way to find out who your real friends are.

    I do not agree wih who says you should pretend you haven't heard such a question. I don't remember what author said "A friend s one who knows all about you, and despite this, still loves you". Well, I totally agree.

    Be strong, we all support you:wink:
     
  6. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    In addition to what other posters said, not ALL gay men like to have dicks in their asses. :)
     
  7. chip59

    chip59 Member

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    Yes. Humiliating, isn't it? You'd think in this day and age that people would mind their own business. Sadly, for some people, minding our buisines IS their business. You'll find that as you get older, the discrimination gets more subtle. But it's still there. I've lost two good jobs because someone "outed" me even though I've always kept my personal life off the table.
    For many of us, it ain't easy being gay. But you WILL go on, you WILL learn to say "heck with 'em" and you WILL NOT let homophobes keep you down.

    Although sometimes I wonder if we've made any progress at all, things ARE getting better. While I'm sure some of the more mature guys here, myself included, could share their horror stories, I try to keep in mind that same sex marriage was a pipe dream just a few years ago. It is becoming common in western Europe and now it has a toe-hold here. I applaud the groundbreakers and activists.
    Keep your chin up!:wink:
     
  8. gayguy777

    gayguy777 New Member

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    Yeah swede82 I dont see how people think since your gay you like it in the ass. Theres gotta be a top to put it in there! Proudly italian Thanks for the advice. I lost all but 1 of my friends when I came out. Shes basicly my sister so she was not shocked at all. I guess you really do learn who your friends are when you come out. alex8.5 I thought it was on the border or gay bashing myself but the cops dont do anything about that here. I did have 1 lady tell them to stop but of corse they didnt. I think what got me the most out of this whole thing is it was the first time I ever had been picked on made fun of and called names over my sexuality. I'm use to being called names made fun of and all that over everything else but not my sexuality. With 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters you kind of get use to being called names but this was different.
     
  9. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Fuck em. Friends are people whom are comfortable with your orientation and who embrace you when you need it most. I would go searching for some new friends. There are tons of girls would be more than happy to shop with you and do fun things. ;)
     
  10. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

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    Pretend you did not hear them....in essence ignore the remark...they really have no business asking you and why acknowledge the remark/question. They are in the same category, rude and ignorant, as people who ask married people when are you going to get pregnant and going to have a baby.....why are you asking, you gonna pay for it....I can be rather sarcastic...
     
    #10 dickman45885, Jul 14, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2008
  11. ikke_g

    ikke_g New Member

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    They're not worth it. You'll get to know a lot of other peope and people that don't want anything to do with you after you came out, they aren't friends. Not at all. Friends support each other.
     
  12. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Hey don't let them get to you. I'll bet that at least one of the most vocal one's will be trying to get into your knickers very soon. Believe me ;)
     
  13. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    When I started High School I had three really close friends. By the end of senior year two of those friend had a major blow out and I didnt find out why until years later when one of them decided to come out in a major way. She then told me that she had expressed having a crush on the othe friend and she freaked. When I fell out laughing she was puzzled. She thought she had hid her orientation issues so well I informed her that is wants that hard when she started to wear men's clothing and men's cologne. :biggrin1:
     
  14. sdbg

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    Yes. I had a wicked crush on a coworker back in 1990. When we met, we clicked like I never had with another human being. He was so homophobic, that I kept the gay part under wraps and enjoyed his witty humor. We had a lot of fun working out and partying together. He moved north in 1993, and most of our contact was by phone and e-mail. He got married in 2003 and had 2 kids. He and his wife invited me, so I went to visit in 2006. After all the years went by and both of us maturing, I thought I could tell him what was really going on with me back in 1990. I made it perfectly clear that I was not hitting on him, but wanted to be honest with him and not take it to the grave unsaid. 2 weeks after I got home, I got a "Dear John" e-mail and never heard from him again. Just as well. I know that he's a closet case, and I remind him of the other side of his nature. As the others have said, he never really was a true friend. I look at it as an accounting problem: he was an overvalued asset that had to be written off the books.

    GayGuy777: sometimes we have to learn the hard way that people are superficial. By releasing toxic people when the screw us over, we make room for good people who are more deserving of our time, energy, and affection. I hope you can put the situation behind you with a minimum of pain.
     
  15. gayguy777

    gayguy777 New Member

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    Thanks for all the support guys and gals. I want to just kill the one that started it because him and I have done BJ sessions a couple times but I did not see that as being mature. I cant wait till they need something and I get to just ignor the hell out of them
     
  16. sdbg

    Verified Gold Member

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    GayGuy777: Eventually the hurt and anger will give way to indifference. The best burn is when some jerk tries to make us feel like shit and we react like: "whatever". It takes us a while to reach that point of indifference after we've been hurt, but it is enormously empowering when we get there. When these jerks realize that you no longer give a damn about them, they will be the ones who lose out.

    Another thing is that you'll make new friends all your life. People will come and go. The good ones you'll hang onto. The other ones will fade away. One of the cooler things about life is that you never know who you're going to meet tomorrow.
     
    #16 sdbg, Jul 15, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2008
  17. Pecker Check

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    For all of the progress we've made in the past couple of generations, we still have so far to go. What might these three guys (I was tempted to say these cretins, but that just adds fuel) have been saying to one another to get themselves psyched up for this encounter? We'll never know but we sadly can guess. Most importantly, though, I like the compassion and good advice in this thread.
     
  18. martinez5

    martinez5 New Member

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    this truly is supportive. nice to see us(well excluding me because i didn't say anything on the subject) actually living up to the name of the sight.
     
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