I guess that's part of what I'm worried about, she's been in this marriage when she's told me repeatedly that she can do better and she wasn't feeling intimate. I don't know what she wants, and I'm assuming she doesn't either. I've dated friends and I'm still close with an ex or 2 cus we started out as friends, but I still don't want to risk losing her.
I'm gonna leave her alone for a while and she what happens.
Thanks for the comments guys.
Imagine? I think you can do one better than that!
And I'll bring those heels with me in August.
You can leave her alone if you think that's what you need to do. Regardless, there's a good possibility she'll look for comfort elsewhere, or with the ex. If I were in your shoes, I'd talk with her and explain I'd like to be there to support her as a friend, and when things were more clear for her, see if there's any interest in dating. You'll both need to be clear about that though, or temptation could take things in another direction. You'll have to decide for yourself what's the best way to go forward. Just my 0.02.
Tomorrow is her birthday, we're going to go out for dinner. She's going through the divorce process right now that her "husband" finally broke his silence to tell her that she should be receiving the papers from his lawyer. I don't want to complicate & confuse things for her while she's going through all this stuff. I'll just be there for her when she needs me & see what happens.
You're a good friend.
Be prepared to address the unspoken issue if things start to move in that direction.
Be clear, be strong, and best of luck to you both.
xemnasfury21
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I'm a bit late to this one but just want to say you're handling this great mate, just remember to keep the big picture in mind and keep doing as you're doing.
Well yesterday was my friend's birthday, so I sent her a message when I woke up in the morning.
Later while I was at work she called me and asked me to meet her downstairs in the parking lot.
She just wanted to talk and get me up to speed on her situation. She told me that she was looking forward to hanging out later since she had nothing to do, which I knew was not the case since her sister had posted on Facebook that she was taking her to dinner. She hadn't been on FB so she had no idea, so I whipped out my phone and showed her how many people had posted birthday wishes and her face lit up. She said that she still wanted to meet up which was fine with me and then she hugged me before getting in her car and leaving.
Later that night she called me as she was on her way back home, so I made my way over.
She apologized that I wouldn't be able to take her to dinner since she had just eaten, but she was in the mood to watch a movie. As we were watching the movie with our feet up on the coffee table, her with her dog in her lap and me with her cat sitting next to me on the arm rest. Her cat kept reaching out to me and resting its paw on my hand and my friend laughed saying, "I think he wants to take your bromance to the next level." So I motion to her cat to come over and its makes its way onto my lap, so there we are sitting next to each other with her pets in our laps. As we were enjoying the movie she rested her head on my shoulder and no lie, as soon as I said, "This is nice.", her dog decides to jump out of her lap and onto mine scaring her cat which jumps onto the floor and runs away.
She laughs and then bursts into hysterical laughter as her dog makes itself comfy on my chest by turning and putting its ass towards my face, and I respond by saying, "Jake get your wang and ass out of my face buddy!".
I'm glad that she found it amusing and was laughing; her dog soon jumped off and chased the cat around which left the two of us on the couch.
We get back to watching the movie and she rests her head on my shoulder again and stretches out.
She started nodding off and I let her, when the movie ended, I tapped her on the leg and she awoke.
I told her that I should get going since she's tired, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said "thanks".
Later while I was at work she called me and asked me to meet her downstairs in the parking lot.
She just wanted to talk and get me up to speed on her situation. She told me that she was looking forward to hanging out later since she had nothing to do, which I knew was not the case since her sister had posted on Facebook that she was taking her to dinner. She hadn't been on FB so she had no idea, so I whipped out my phone and showed her how many people had posted birthday wishes and her face lit up. She said that she still wanted to meet up which was fine with me and then she hugged me before getting in her car and leaving.
Later that night she called me as she was on her way back home, so I made my way over.
She apologized that I wouldn't be able to take her to dinner since she had just eaten, but she was in the mood to watch a movie. As we were watching the movie with our feet up on the coffee table, her with her dog in her lap and me with her cat sitting next to me on the arm rest. Her cat kept reaching out to me and resting its paw on my hand and my friend laughed saying, "I think he wants to take your bromance to the next level." So I motion to her cat to come over and its makes its way onto my lap, so there we are sitting next to each other with her pets in our laps. As we were enjoying the movie she rested her head on my shoulder and no lie, as soon as I said, "This is nice.", her dog decides to jump out of her lap and onto mine scaring her cat which jumps onto the floor and runs away.
She laughs and then bursts into hysterical laughter as her dog makes itself comfy on my chest by turning and putting its ass towards my face, and I respond by saying, "Jake get your wang and ass out of my face buddy!".
I'm glad that she found it amusing and was laughing; her dog soon jumped off and chased the cat around which left the two of us on the couch.
We get back to watching the movie and she rests her head on my shoulder again and stretches out.
She started nodding off and I let her, when the movie ended, I tapped her on the leg and she awoke.
I told her that I should get going since she's tired, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said "thanks".
nicenycdick
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You are walking through a mine field. One of the problems you face is that the more you resist, the more she will want you. Until, of course, you give in. Then she will re-assess the situation and decide that she can't do this right now. I only say that this is a possibility because I've been there before...more than once. In the end, it will probably be you that gets hurt...simply because you are falling in love with her (if you have not already). Not that she intends that you get hurt...she just needs to know that someone wants her...really bad. It is dangerous territory you have entered.
As I've said before...let some real time go by before you allow yourself to engage in these intimate moments with her.
Tread carefully...not just for her.
You are probably right guys. I actually won't be seeing her until like July because of moving next week, work and family stuff on both our ends, but it was her birthday I felt as though I couldn't ignore her.
For me the biggest success of the night was that she was laughing and seemed out of her funk for a while, anything else like her resting her head on my shoulder was an unexpected bonus. I've actually already sworn not to call or contact her until July since I'm moving and I also need time to focus on my own life and recharge.
I had a day off from work yesterday to take care of some family stuff and I'm sure I could have made time for her, but I decided to just be by myself for a bit.
Not that it matters or even relates to this topic, but my female co-worker who I always talk with and sometimes go to lunch/dinner with always messages me when I take time off work saying things like "I wish you were here today" or "I miss you and could use your company". When she messaged me yesterday I replied by saying, "I'll see you tomorrow angel." and she responded with "Perfect!, don't call me angel, call me Kat."
I thought that I offended her or something so I apologized and said that "I won't call you angel or by any of the nicknames I came up with, just Kat from now on."
She quickly messaged me back saying, "I love when you call me 'Tray-Tray', 'easy-bake' or 'wonderful', but you call every girl angel and I'm not every girl."
I honestly didn't even realize that until she called me on it, she actually pays attention to things I say to other girls and that she loves the nicknames I gave her because I'm the only person that refers to her by them. That's quite an eye-opener for me.
I'm beginning to feel as though the women in my life have grown used to having me around for emotional support or as their "fill-in boyfriend". I think I'm gonna go on a "woman-atorium", meaning that I am suspended from engaging in activity with women for a period of time. Obviously I work with women and have female friends, but I just won't date them or engage them in intimate situations of any capacity for a while. I know it sounds crazy, but I think that if I were to do this, it might allow me to see more clearly 'who' wants my attention and hopefully 'why' would become apparent as well. No I would not do it as an experiment or whatever, just so I can back away from these types of situations and possibly see why or for that matter who tends to draw me into them.
That's my crazy thought for the day lol!
For me the biggest success of the night was that she was laughing and seemed out of her funk for a while, anything else like her resting her head on my shoulder was an unexpected bonus. I've actually already sworn not to call or contact her until July since I'm moving and I also need time to focus on my own life and recharge.
I had a day off from work yesterday to take care of some family stuff and I'm sure I could have made time for her, but I decided to just be by myself for a bit.
Not that it matters or even relates to this topic, but my female co-worker who I always talk with and sometimes go to lunch/dinner with always messages me when I take time off work saying things like "I wish you were here today" or "I miss you and could use your company". When she messaged me yesterday I replied by saying, "I'll see you tomorrow angel." and she responded with "Perfect!, don't call me angel, call me Kat."
I thought that I offended her or something so I apologized and said that "I won't call you angel or by any of the nicknames I came up with, just Kat from now on."
She quickly messaged me back saying, "I love when you call me 'Tray-Tray', 'easy-bake' or 'wonderful', but you call every girl angel and I'm not every girl."
I honestly didn't even realize that until she called me on it, she actually pays attention to things I say to other girls and that she loves the nicknames I gave her because I'm the only person that refers to her by them. That's quite an eye-opener for me.
I'm beginning to feel as though the women in my life have grown used to having me around for emotional support or as their "fill-in boyfriend". I think I'm gonna go on a "woman-atorium", meaning that I am suspended from engaging in activity with women for a period of time. Obviously I work with women and have female friends, but I just won't date them or engage them in intimate situations of any capacity for a while. I know it sounds crazy, but I think that if I were to do this, it might allow me to see more clearly 'who' wants my attention and hopefully 'why' would become apparent as well. No I would not do it as an experiment or whatever, just so I can back away from these types of situations and possibly see why or for that matter who tends to draw me into them.
That's my crazy thought for the day lol!
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nicenycdick
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Your female co-worker wants a deeper relationship with you. You must know this. If you think it can become something, it would a good way to keep your mind off of the other woman. Of course, office romances have their own problems, so be prepared to look for other work if it doesn't work out.
By the way...do you LOOK for the most difficult romances in which to be entangled?
By the way...do you LOOK for the most difficult romances in which to be entangled?
Funny thing about those little nicknames.... I think every girl wants to be recognized as special. I had a guy start calling me Kitten and it was so special to me I won't allow anyone else to call me that. He also had a habit of texting me X's and O's, which made me purr until I realized he did that for all his close female friends. Meh! Currently I am being called "Princess Doll Sexy-Parts" which is kinda hysterical and rather unique so it makes me laugh and feel warm fuzzy at the same time.
Point is, if you use a special name for your co-worker, she is likely to see it as more.
PS. A word of warning to all you men out there who liberally use "sweetheart" "angel" "doll" etc, be sure the ladies know it's a term of endearment for ALL female friends or it might be misinterpreted.
Point is, if you use a special name for your co-worker, she is likely to see it as more.
PS. A word of warning to all you men out there who liberally use "sweetheart" "angel" "doll" etc, be sure the ladies know it's a term of endearment for ALL female friends or it might be misinterpreted.
nicenycdick
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