Friends

[KinkGuy]

Any time you get 7 or 8 young horny males together, mix in some alcohol and there is an interesting male-comaraderie-bonding-ritual that takes place often bordering on outright homosexual behavior. It's a tribal instinct coming to the surface and is often seen in the military, team sports, lockerooms, private men's clubs, etc.

Males have an inherent need to be with and act "male" in the exclusive company of their peers. Sports teams are the perfect example. Boys passing into adulthood lack any ceremony or rites of passage in the modern world and instinctively try to make up for it in other ways.

The behavior of yourself or your friends in these situations in no way implies that anyone is actually gay or would engage in homo-sex.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Yeah I do agree w/you...These guys are probably the coolest guys that I have met too - I mean they are really in touch w/their feelings and express themselves very well about their feeling and we have a real strong friendship bond will tell you in a minute they love me - really never experienced that we other friendships in the past...So definitely a true friendship and not sexual at all normally - just like a said a couple of drunken incidents...

 

[jonb]

Lesbians have a term. Tatusexual. It means you flirt with members of the same sex but you're not really gay. A lot of straight guys will experiment, too. It all depends; you can find situations where straight guys will go gay (for a short time, at least).

:utting on my best imitation of my roommate's "oh, you silly straight boys" look::

Honestly, modern ideas about homosexuality as an "either/or" thing are discredited 19th-century psychology; seeing naked ladies won't make a gay guy's eyes burn out, and gay men are just as discriminating about their sex partners as straight guys. (Oh, so they do sleep with every guy they see&#33

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

My friends like the term - Metrosexual...

 

[jonb]

Which has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with fashion.

 

[B_HungSpermBoy]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande@Jan 25 2005, 09:58 AM
Just had a question or two out of curiosity...First of all let me say - Recently come to realize that I definitely don't like titles when it comes to sexuality...But I guess I really live a straight lifestyle - I am sure you can get what I am saying...All my friends they I hang out w/are pretty much self-confessed straight...There are about 7 or 8 of us guys who go out every weekend to party...And all my friends are pretty good looking and multicultural - I mean we are black, latino, asian, white, and middle eastern...Here is the thing to get to the point - there are situations that arise sometimes when when supposedly we get drunk together or happen to pop a little pill that some things happen that would not be considered (straight)...Like for instance - at least 2 friends wanted me to jack them off, another actually kissed me, and one usually trys to hold my hand in the clubs when he gets really drunk - he gets a little depressed sometimes when he gets drunk and I am the only one in the group he likes to talk about it too, then one friend actually was playing w/my foot w/his while I was supposed passed out - I actually woke up during and just didn't know how to react so I laid there pretending to be asleep...Just wondering if anyone else has any situation like this...The thing is that most of these guys say they don't remember anything the next day - which sucks because I think it is kind of hot and these things could spark a great conversation bring us even closer than we are...All these guys are cool and really no sexual hangups about someone being gay (I mean some of the best clubs we have hit up have a majority gay clientel) and these guys get hit on by guys all the time - to the point that it scares some of them because some guys won't take no for an answer...Just curious what you folks think...But I definitely have come to believe that all guys are a little bit curious...

[post=277206]Quoted post[/post]​

I've just been in college since the fall & my guy friends & I go out a lot together. Most of them don't have girlfriends so being buddies is fun for everyone. And when we get to drinking or whatever, some of the guys get pretty wasted & do weird or wild things. I just think it's what guys do. I've had guys tell me really intimate things about their lives. Or they put their arm around me & get all emotional. This is what guys do in college or before. We're all learning a bunch of stuff & not all of it is in books or classes. It takes a lot of alcohol to get some guys to let their guard down & just be themselves. I'm thinking that your buddies are exploring sex & who they're into sexually, & it might be cool to talk with them about this stuff when you're not wasted.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by jonb@Jan 26 2005, 03:16 AM
Which has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with fashion.

[post=277540]Quoted post[/post]​

True - but they like to include a lifestyle w/it too...Didn't say it was correct but that is a term they classify it...

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by HungSpermBoy@Jan 26 2005, 05:28 AM
I've just been in college since the fall & my guy friends & I go out a lot together. Most of them don't have girlfriends so being buddies is fun for everyone. And when we get to drinking or whatever, some of the guys get pretty wasted & do weird or wild things. I just think it's what guys do. I've had guys tell me really intimate things about their lives. Or they put their arm around me & get all emotional. This is what guys do in college or before. We're all learning a bunch of stuff & not all of it is in books or classes. It takes a lot of alcohol to get some guys to let their guard down & just be themselves. I'm thinking that your buddies are exploring sex & who they're into sexually, & it might be cool to talk with them about this stuff when you're not wasted.

[post=277552]Quoted post[/post]​

I really think you are right - sounds pretty much like us...But yeah that is the problem - we haven't got to the point where we can talk about it...

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

Originally posted by Orang621@Jan 26 2005, 02:54 AM
As the one who brought up the "closet", I would like to clarify.

I absolutely do not believe that we should label each other, but we can, and we do--its a reality. Many people on this site do it, and the original poster began his post by exclaiming that he and his friends consider themselves "straight".

I wish we could live in a society that didn't place significance on sexual identity, but it does. And due to this emphasis, many people are wrongly discriminated against, abandoned by their families, committing suicide, etc.

It would be wonderful if we could be all lovey-dovey-utopian-idealistic about it... and we can... but it doesn't mean that's the reality most of us live with and deal with daily....

[post=277411]Quoted post[/post]​

For some reason I can't get 'I Am What I Am' from "La Cage Aux Folles" outta my head now.

 

[B_HungSpermBoy]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande+Jan 26 2005, 10:51 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pene_Negro_Grande &#064; Jan 26 2005, 10:51 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-HungSpermBoy@Jan 26 2005, 05:28 AM
I&#39;ve just been in college since the fall & my guy friends & I go out a lot together. Most of them don&#39;t have girlfriends so being buddies is fun for everyone. And when we get to drinking or whatever, some of the guys get pretty wasted & do weird or wild things. I just think it&#39;s what guys do. I&#39;ve had guys tell me really intimate things about their lives. Or they put their arm around me & get all emotional. This is what guys do in college or before. We&#39;re all learning a bunch of stuff & not all of it is in books or classes. It takes a lot of alcohol to get some guys to let their guard down & just be themselves. I&#39;m thinking that your buddies are exploring sex & who they&#39;re into sexually, & it might be cool to talk with them about this stuff when you&#39;re not wasted. 

[post=277552]Quoted post[/post]​

I really think you are right - sounds pretty much like us...But yeah that is the problem - we haven&#39;t got to the point where we can talk about it...

[post=277612]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


I think it also takes a long time for a guy to trust another guy. I know I&#39;m that way. I don&#39;t want my best friend to be playing with my head or to try & use personal things i tell him against me. And we guys are competitive so there&#39;s always a chance that some guy might try to fuck me over.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by HungSpermBoy@Jan 26 2005, 04:10 PM
I think it also takes a long time for a guy to trust another guy. I know I&#39;m that way. I don&#39;t want my best friend to be playing with my head or to try & use personal things i tell him against me. And we guys are competitive so there&#39;s always a chance that some guy might try to fuck me over.

[post=277673]Quoted post[/post]​

This is definitely true - I know it takes me a long time to let my guard down...That is why I value my friendships...Because I am the type to do anything for a friend...

 

[headbang8]

It all sounds pretty innocent to me. Horny guy plus convenient body minus inhibitions. It could be any man, woman or Labrador that was handy. Means nothing except that you guys are comfortable with each other, and that you&#39;re horny. Well, it doesn&#39;t have to mean anything unless you want it to...

 

[jonb]

True, headbang8. Once you&#39;re drunk and horny, you don&#39;t discriminate based on anything.

Labrador? You wouldn&#39;t be turning into Rick Santorum, now would ya?

 

[B_hungrick]

Originally posted by HungSpermBoy+Jan 26 2005, 01:28 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(HungSpermBoy &#064; Jan 26 2005, 01:28 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-Pene_Negro_Grande@Jan 25 2005, 09:58 AM
Just had a question or two out of curiosity...First of all let me say - Recently come to realize that I definitely don&#39;t like titles when it comes to sexuality...But I guess I really live a straight lifestyle - I am sure you can get what I am saying...All my friends they I hang out w/are pretty much self-confessed straight...There are about 7 or 8 of us guys who go out every weekend to party...And all my friends are pretty good looking and multicultural - I mean we are black, latino, asian, white, and middle eastern...Here is the thing to get to the point - there are situations that arise sometimes when when supposedly we get drunk together or happen to pop a little pill that some things happen that would not be considered (straight)...Like for instance - at least 2 friends wanted me to jack them off, another actually kissed me, and one usually trys to hold my hand in the clubs when he gets really drunk - he gets a little depressed sometimes when he gets drunk and I am the only one in the group he likes to talk about it too, then one friend actually was playing w/my foot w/his while I was supposed passed out - I actually woke up during and just didn&#39;t know how to react so I laid there pretending to be asleep...Just wondering if anyone else has any situation like this...The thing is that most of these guys say they don&#39;t remember anything the next day - which sucks because I think it is kind of hot and these things could spark a great conversation bring us even closer than we are...All these guys are cool and really no sexual hangups about someone being gay (I mean some of the best clubs we have hit up have a majority gay clientel) and these guys get hit on by guys all the time - to the point that it scares some of them because some guys won&#39;t take no for an answer...Just curious what you folks think...But I definitely have come to believe that all guys are a little bit curious...

[post=277206]Quoted post[/post]​

I&#39;ve just been in college since the fall & my guy friends & I go out a lot together. Most of them don&#39;t have girlfriends so being buddies is fun for everyone. And when we get to drinking or whatever, some of the guys get pretty wasted & do weird or wild things. I just think it&#39;s what guys do. I&#39;ve had guys tell me really intimate things about their lives. Or they put their arm around me & get all emotional. This is what guys do in college or before. We&#39;re all learning a bunch of stuff & not all of it is in books or classes. It takes a lot of alcohol to get some guys to let their guard down & just be themselves. I&#39;m thinking that your buddies are exploring sex & who they&#39;re into sexually, & it might be cool to talk with them about this stuff when you&#39;re not wasted.

[post=277552]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


i&#39;m a straight guy but it&#39;s been 5 years since i&#39;ve been in college. one thing i remember from college is that girls & guys were both trying to decide who they loved & who they liked....what kind of individuals. many times when straight guys are drinking together it&#39;s the closest we come to sharing quality time together. most of us have a hard time telling our male freinds that we care about them or that we think they&#39;re cool. i can count hundreds of times when my buddies from college told me they loved me & when they did, they were so drunk they couldnt stand up. i always felt cool about that in some weird awkward way. it&#39;s too bad that so many guys have to get loaded out of their minds to express their feelings to each other.
good luck with your friends, bud. i think you guys are lucky to have each other. B)

 

[b1988]

2 thoughts:
1) I agree with hungrick that it is a shame that men often have to get loaded in order to be open and honest about their emotions.
2) Sexual labels don&#39;t work any better than political labels. Voting for five Republican doesn&#39;t make you a "Republican". Sucking five dicks doesn&#39;t make you "gay" and eating five pussies doesn&#39;t make you "straight". Labels get in the way of understanding because they are so emotionally valenced. When I was younger I got really depressed if I sucked a dick or did something else that was "gay". It was a burden that never did anything for me but complicate my understanding of my sexuality. I basically identify as gay now, but my lifetime partners balance between men and women is pretty equal. In the more recent years I have been exclusively with men, but it has been a journey of discovery.
Judging myself never helped. I don&#39;t recommend it.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Hungrick - Totally agree w/you on this...And B1988 - I like your analogy...

 

[lacsap1]

Originally posted by KinkGuy@Jan 26 2005, 04:57 AM
Any time you get 7 or 8 young horny males together, mix in some alcohol and there is an interesting male-comaraderie-bonding-ritual that takes place often bordering on outright homosexual behavior. It&#39;s a tribal instinct coming to the surface and is often seen in the military, team sports, lockerooms, private men&#39;s clubs, etc. The behavior of yourself or your friends in these situations in no way implies that anyone is actually gay or would engage in homo-sex.

[post=277479]Quoted post[/post]​

Ever been to a Techno/Trance party ?

In The Netherlands (like whole of Europe) we have massive Rave parties.
For the people who don&#39;t know this phenomenon: Outdoors or indoor huge parties with loud electrical music,Techno/Trance is music with more melodic and synth drivin with common hard bass lines. Most of it in the 134-144 BPM rannge. Sexy dressed people of all kind of sexual preferences, most of the bodyparts are naked, the boys without t-shirt and the girl in top, nights like we&#39;re all united, dancing for 10 until 24 hours mostly on drugs, XTC and/or joints etc etc. Raves are like heaven, like Sodom & Gomorra. Its a bunch of people rolling or tripping there faces off. In the middle of the rave, its a bunch of bug-eyed people dancing to the music. Sometimes its not in flow or anything but it goes to the music and it bugs them out which is more important than anything else. The outer sides or chillout aria of the rave are filled with people making out, making body contact, and giving massages to eachother. The whole place is full with blacklights and stroboscopes, everybody is beautifull, sweet and nice it all smells like vicks vapor rub and everybody is in love and peace--its great.

 

[B_hungrick]

Originally posted by lacsap1+Jan 29 2005, 04:33 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(lacsap1 &#064; Jan 29 2005, 04:33 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-KinkGuy@Jan 26 2005, 04:57 AM
Any time you get 7 or 8 young horny males together, mix in some alcohol and there is an interesting male-comaraderie-bonding-ritual that takes place often bordering on outright homosexual behavior.  It&#39;s a tribal instinct coming to the surface and is often seen in the military, team sports, lockerooms, private men&#39;s clubs, etc. The behavior of yourself or your friends in these situations in no way implies that anyone is actually gay or would engage in homo-sex.

[post=277479]Quoted post[/post]​

Ever been to a Techno/Trance party ?

In The Netherlands (like whole of Europe) we have massive Rave parties.
For the people who don&#39;t know this phenomenon: Outdoors or indoor huge parties with loud electrical music,Techno/Trance is music with more melodic and synth drivin with common hard bass lines. Most of it in the 134-144 BPM rannge. Sexy dressed people of all kind of sexual preferences, most of the bodyparts are naked, the boys without t-shirt and the girl in top, nights like we&#39;re all united, dancing for 10 until 24 hours mostly on drugs, XTC and/or joints etc etc. Raves are like heaven, like Sodom & Gomorra. Its a bunch of people rolling or tripping there faces off. In the middle of the rave, its a bunch of bug-eyed people dancing to the music. Sometimes its not in flow or anything but it goes to the music and it bugs them out which is more important than anything else. The outer sides or chillout aria of the rave are filled with people making out, making body contact, and giving massages to eachother. The whole place is full with blacklights and stroboscopes, everybody is beautifull, sweet and nice it all smells like vicks vapor rub and everybody is in love and peace--its great.

[post=278663]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


Whoooa,sounds like the 1960s&#33; Peace,love & rock & roll. Like the Love Parade in Berlin too.

:wub:

 

[Lex]

You know, I used to consider myself straight although I have always had some sexual thoughts about other men. I also used to firmly beleive that if you took the Bell Curve, straight people would be in the middle. I no longer believe that.

Now, I believe that the middle of the bell curve is full of people who, regardless of how they self-identify or admit to, have an attraction to both sexies (to varying degrees). On one extreme end of the curve are folks like Pecker (100% hetero) and on the other are folks who consider themselves 100% homosexual.

Pene_Negro_Grande and Freddie---I say all this to say that you and your friends are not nealry as alone/weird/confused/etc as you think. The majority of people are in similar places (mentally, emotionally, physically or all THREE) with only a true majority of people truly knowing that they are sexually exclusive.

As long as you and your friends trust each other and are comfortable with what happens between friends, it&#39;s all good.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

True - Thanks...Oh Lacsap1 - yeah I have definitely been to a rave before...Yeah, I like those things too...