1. sonic81812003

    sonic81812003 New Member

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    Ok, im looking for an opionion. I don't live near my family, and Im going to go back home for a visit without my wife. I plan to see family and friends while down there. I let one of my buddys know that I am going for a visit. I havn't seen the guy for 4 years. He wants me to hang out one night and just chill have a smoke and beers. Last 2 times we did that, things kinda got interesting. Gave eachother oral and JO to some porn. Just some release and such. Meant nothing, we've been friends for years. Now things are a little different, I have moved away and don't seem him much, we chat all the time though, and now im happily married. I'd like to go chill with him, but not sure what to do if things get "interesting". I wouldn't not consider myself gay, Im pretty much a whatever kinda guy. Do what i want when i want, no label kinda guy. How wrong would it be to chill with my friend?
     
  2. basque9

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    I subsribe to the belief that there are no rights or wrongs to sexual expressiveness and that sex has little to do with morality. If you are secure in the relationship with your wife... and play it safe with outsiders for her sake... then go for it with your bud and never mention it to the wife.:cool:
     
  3. kurios

    kurios Member

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    Agree!
     
  4. emu

    emu New Member

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    i disagree with what is said so far.
    sex has alot to do with morality and being faithful to your wife etc.

    sex is sex wether with a guy or a girl.

    however, i don't see jacking off together as a sex act between two people
    unless your going to dry hump, frot, jack and suck eachtoher off.

    i would say, hang, have a couple beers, be nude and wack together to porn
    but don't take it any further, then you would be unfaithful to the wife.

    E
     
  5. CUBE

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    If you are both cool with it...have your time and keep it private...and safe...and have fun
     
  6. bigfloppyd

    bigfloppyd New Member

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    Relationships are about trust. For this kind of messing-around-but-definately-not-fucking type of thing, different couples have different attitudes. Ask yourself, is this something that you'd tell your wife about when you go back home, or would you keep it a secret? Would you try to deny it if she found out? How would she feel?

    Frankly, if you're asking "how wrong", I think that you already know that its definately wrong for you. Don't fuck things up with your wife just to play a game of whack-a-mole with your friend. But, hey, that doesn't mean you two can't sit around, drink a few beers and catch up on things. Just keep yer schlong in yer pants.
     
  7. yhtang

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    Is there any risk of this experience being found out? What is the likelihood of you being in the wrong end of an emotional or any other type of blackmail? I hope you don't talk in your sleep.
     
  8. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    You know what....

    I am gonna say, Don't do it. PERIOD.

    You are married now, you have a wife who I assume you love very much. Having a sexual encounter with anyone without having a discussion with your wife first, is definetaly not a good idea.

    Switch places for a second with her. Would you be ok if you found out that your wife was going to go visit an old Guy friend? Especially if the last time he saw her, he fingered her and she beat him off??

    People are gonna say how this is different because it is " Two guys just hanging , helping each other out" But that is bullshit.

    Visit the friend if you want, but keep your dick in your pants. UNLESS, you are willing to tell the wife about your past encounters with buddy, as she says that it is ok for you to go and do this.
     
  9. findfirefox

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    I agree with this, I almost would say bring your wife if you think it would keep you away from your old friend.
     
  10. musicman

    musicman New Member

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    My ex was a liar and a cheat and was busy sleeping with anyone who could fog a mirror, unsafely, not even getting their names... so my opinion, influenced by having been exposed to god knows what by someone I loved, is to be ethical. Get your wife's permission. Otherwise, you're fucking around with her, and that's just not fair. I know how it feels. It sucks.
     
  11. Snozzle

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    Interesting. I have a parallel dilemma with my man, but it's different because we're both guys. From what I know of women they usually consider ANY sexual expression with another person to be a breach of the relationship - none of this Clintonesque "It's not really sex" stuff. And they find same-sex activity VERY hard to cope with, not so much because of homophobia but because a guy is a kind of rival they don't know how to compete with.

    Ask yourself, "What would she think if she found out?" Would she consider it betrayal? I think the default position is that she would. In that case, I'd say, not worth the risk. If you can't control yourself, then maybe you need to ask how spur-of-the-moment, just-a-guy-thing, doesn't-mean-anything-about-your-orientation it really is.

    I agree, it's a great shame, because it doesn't feel like betrayal to you, but that's how (most) women are. Maybe it's hard-wired.

    If you decide to hang out with your buddy and plan not to do anything, then I suggest you make it very clear to him at the outset that you're now a married man and you don't do that kind of thing any more. If not, he's got every right to assume that things are as they used to be, and then he'll get turned on and then frustrated and angry.
     
  12. davidjh7

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    You are married, and regardless if the sex is innocent or not, if you lie about it, you ARE cheating on your marriage. If she is cool with it, and it happens between you and the guy natrually, go with it. Otherwise, meet as old friends, but stay in a public atmosphere. You have alot to lose for a simple memory fantasy.
     
  13. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    If your wife was cool with it - I would say go for it....I don't think what you are friend are doing is wrong, its the wife not knowing which is cheating....If you guys have any physical contact with each other - it's cheating in my opinion....Follow your gut feelings on this one....Good luck....
     
  14. mainer1

    mainer1 New Member

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    I've had a buddy for over 20 yrs, happily married, a father...we got into a sex-buddy thing because now and then he needed an island in the stream, so to speak. No strings, emotional hassles....I know when we get together, it's intense and wonderful, and I know when he returns to his regular life, he's feeling great. What could be wrong with that?
     
  15. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Hmm maybe the deception and cheating - if his spouse doesn't know....That is why I remain single because I like hooking up with anyone I want....Guy or girl, most times it really doesn't matter but I kind of have a problem with cheating on a person or someone getting cheated on....I usually don't give my opinion on it because it is not my business but I won't hook up with them....But if the wife is cool with - I say bang to your hearts are content....
     
  16. yhtang

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    I watched Brokeback Mountain and this scenario rather worries me. If it cna be guaranteed that nobody will ever know, I think I will feel much better about such a scenario.
     
  17. D_Kirkhaus Komandohanger

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    Nothing's wrong about chilling with your friend. Just don't use double negatives. It hurts.
     
  18. dreamer20

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    Well it sure beats Scrabble and Pictionary. And I'm sure that you all know what to do as you did it already.


    dreamer20
     
  19. mainer1

    mainer1 New Member

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    Well...when we parted, it was like I played some game, squash, basketball?, with a good buddy...there was no Brokeback frustrated romanticism...just great platonic buddyism!
     
  20. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Well, if you can sleep at night, then you go ahead and potentially ruin marriages.
     
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