Friendship/ Relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by KlarkHung, Oct 25, 2009.

  1. KlarkHung

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    Hi all, i was wondering whehter you could help me out in a situation?

    I have been very close friends for a long time with two ladies whom I will call Jill and Vera for privacy.
    Jill and Vera have been very close friends for many years and are each others confidantes, however recently they have both announced they are in love with me. This has left me a bad situation as I am really close to them both and according to a mutual friend they have not told each other. I like Jill a lot more than Vera and have hoped for a long time that something would happen, however Vera has gone through a lot recently with a death of a parent, a grandparent and a suicide.

    Im scared that if I say that im not interested it will really depress her more, and also if I say no to her and then yes to Jill, it will then jeopardize the relationship of Jill and Vera. That is the last thing I want but I really like Jill.

    If I decide to go out with Jill, I dont know whether I could actually say anything to Vera as I care so much for peoples feelings and It would pain me to hurt her feelings.

    What do you think I should do?

    p.s. sorry for blabbering on
     
    #1 KlarkHung, Oct 25, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2009
  2. luka82

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    wow!
    That`s complicated!
    Just say u like dick, they will forgive u both :)
     
  3. rob_just_rob

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    Argh. That happened to me once.

    Go with Jill. Break it to Vera gently.
     
  4. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Sounds like Vera needs a little consideration given her recent string of tragedies. If you and Jill want to be good friends to Vera, then work hard to help her out and keep her company, maybe introduce her to some new people. The last thing she needs is another shock that could alienate her from her closest friends. I suggest not telling Vera about your interest in Jill for a while longer. Wait until she's on her feet again and if you and Jill do get together, be sure not to exclude Vera from your social lives. Either way, it will be hard on her if she really does have feelings for you. The most you can do is express your love in friendship with her and leave it at that.

    I wouldn't run around with Jill behind Vera's back. That sort of thing always gets found out and the result will be much harder on Vera than being honest with her. Both of you make an effort to include Vera in your plans and try to keep her in good company when you can't be with her.

    I wish this sort of thing was easier but it isn't.
     
  5. KlarkHung

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    Thankyou for your responses, they are great. I think I will leave it a while longer and wait for Vera to get herself sorted a bit more, I cant upset her any more. I will probably get together with Jill but not until Vera knows and understands so I will explain to Jill that I want to wait a short while.
    Thankyou again for your responses =D
     
  6. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    they are confidants but have not told each other that each of them is in love with you???

    this is a no win situation.obviously in the short term, you do one the other one is pissed. in the long term, the one you are doing gets pisssed because you broke up their friendship. the only possible way this might work is a three way, and that will be a fragile situation.
     
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