And I don't really think you realise that you have hurt him by saying thanks for being a friend after he put all his time, money and energy into getting your love back.
I don't understand this. When did he put all is time and energy (and money?) into getting my love back? My love's always been there. When he cheated on me I was so hurt. I kicked his ass to the curb and asked him not to contact me because I needed the space. He continued to pursue me saying he was sorry and even flew to the US while I was here for my niece's wedding to show that he still cared and wanted things to be right. Then, during that same trip, I discovered he bought gifts for the guy he was seeing! That's when I went ballistic and told him to get lost. Again, he apologized and we took it easy with seeing each other (even though we were still working together btw). I then closed down the business due to lack of business and he ranted and raved that he needed his income and that I was doing this to get back at him!
Fast forward to just a month before I leave for the US. He says he wants to be closer but not in any intimate way. He said he realized that the age difference was too much for him. Ok, no problem. I knew that at the beginning, to be honest, that 30 years was too big of a spread and that eventually it would cause a problem. But I fell in love and the end hurt terribly... it still does and because we never had space to allow for healing.
And you're now saying I hurt him? I don't get that part. How did I hurt him? By allowing him in my life?