Frigid yet horny?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Chaotica, Aug 13, 2011.

  1. Chaotica

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    Is it possible to be horny and frigid at the same time?

    Like if a woman is horny, wants to have sex, but is unable to have orgasms except through masturbation. The sex doesn't really do it for her, yet she likes the idea of having sex and seeks it out.

    Or how about if a woman finally achieves orgasm from being given oral. Is that the sign of a thaw?
     
  2. D_Steve_Sphincter

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    Sounds like you just haven't met the right person. Not everyone can totally relax into sex unless they're with someone they really know and trust.
     
  3. MickeyLee

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    if the lady enjoys sex, is capable of orgasm during masturbation... umm is just not coming during intercourse and can orgasm from oral?

    umm sounds like she's a clitty kinda gal. :tongue:

    *counts fingers* at least 11 women i can think of who don't orgasm with partners.. is just their thing. could be this ladies thing.

    even without orgasms *well, leading up to orgasm for me* sex feels really damn good. so even if i didn't cum i would still get nekkid and sweaty.
     
  4. KTF40

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    This kind of women sounds exactly like my current fwb. She is about 40 years old and when we first met, she couldn't orgasm except through masturbation. Every once in a while she could orgasm through oral, but it wasn't consistent and rarely happened. However, she still is extremely horny even though she has had a pretty frustrating sex life for her whole life. She does get off on the idea of a guy cumming inside her, even though she doesn't actually orgasm from it.

    Fortunately, I've been able to figure out how to make her cum through oral regularly to the point that I made her orgasm in less than 5 min the other weekend (it used to take like 15-20min). So if the woman you described can orgasm through oral, there is a good chance she can do it regularly with proper technique, practice, and comfort level imo.
     
  5. molotovmuffin

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    Frigid doesn't mean unable to cum, it means dislikes sex.
     
  6. TheRob

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    I thought it ment mean!
     
  7. ManlyBanisters

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    I was thinking what you were thinking but according to Merriam-Webster it also relates to inability to orgasm from intercourse:

    http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/frigid

    ETA: It's funny, men get to be 'horny and normal' whether they have a problem cumming from fucking or not - but women have a problem cumming from fucking and they get labelled 'frigid' with all the baggage that implies. Fucking typical.
     
    #7 ManlyBanisters, Aug 14, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2011
  8. Kempwing

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    A female friend of mine has told me that she is unable to orgasm through masturbation from what I understood her, but has no trouble with a partner.
     
  9. dolfette

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    maybe frigid is a state of mind. maybe her horny mood is just a state of body. maybe she needs the sex to scratch the itch, but she'd prefer not to.
     
  10. dolfette

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    dictionaries are misogynistic?
    lol. figures.
     
  11. molotovmuffin

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    I've never heard of a woman unable to orgasm being called frigid. It's always because she dislikes having sex, period. You know...how she just lies there and doesn't move during sex.

    Frigid implies cold, heartless.
     
  12. dolfette

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    frigid implies dolf :cool:
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    No need to convince me - it's Merriam-Webster you need to talk to.
     
  14. molotovmuffin

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    Sorry Manly...it wasn't you. It's the OP.
     
  15. Chaotica

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    I don't get it. Are you saying that "relax into sex" means having a vaginal orgasm during sex? And that having an orgasm from oral just isn't good enough, I haven't found the right person? Be very careful of what you say. :cool:

    I have had an orgasm from intercourse, but not really, and not often. I was on top and essentially what I did was masturbate on his body while his dick was inside me. It was a clitoral orgasm. Is that what is meant by "orgasm during intercourse"? It wasn't that great. I much prefer orgasm from oral. (By the way, orgasming from oral is a new development for me...)

    I found some links about frigidity that I want to share:

    The Treatment of Frigidity with LSD and Ritalin

    The Invention of the Unsexual (PDF)

    The Treatment of Chronic Frigidity by Systematic Desensitization (PDF)

    KTF40, do you think it is your technique that is getting her to orgasm regularly, or her comfort level with you, or both?
     
    #15 Chaotica, Aug 14, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2011
  16. KTF40

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    Both, but I'd say technique is a little more important. For her, I need to lick her clit at a consistent pace (typically a slower pace) in an up down motion, using slightly more pressure when I lick upward, and completely stay focused on that area. She's never had an orgasm from oral using any technique other than that, with me at least. At the same time though, comfort level is also important because she can often times feel a lot of mental pressure to cum, especially in the earlier stages of our relationship. For example, she will worry about me not being into it or feel pressure for not having an orgasm fast enough. Those kind of issues have gone away through with her becoming more comfortable with me.

    Also you might have heard this before, but if you can orgasm through masturbating, you should maybe think about ways you can translate that into your sex life. For example, do you think about anything when masturbating? I know with my current fwb, she has a particular fantasy scenario that she always thinks about when rubbing one out. One time, I was able to make her orgasm through intercourse by telling her a story about this particular fantasy while fucking her at the same time. Problem is I have trouble staying hard while telling the stories so we haven't been able to have similar success outside of that one time. But the point is, if you can use whatever techniques, objects, fantasies, etc that work for you during masturbating and move that into your sex life, maybe you might have a little more success.
     
  17. helgaleena

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    Becoming more orgasmic, once you have found out what you like, is a life-long journey of pleasurable discovery! Do not label yourself just because you have not had enough pleasure and relaxation to enjoy all things. The amount of experimenting, and the amount of different sensation you identify as pleasurable, is ultimately up to you and you alone.

    If you can orgasm at all, there is nothing to fix, only an open horizon of future joy.
     
  18. Chaotica

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    Helga, I think I love you. :hug:
     
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