From gay to Str8?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. BIGdkluver

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    We often hear about a str8 man becoming gay, but what about the other way around?

    Could it really be possible for a 100% gay man ever to become 100% str8?
    If so, would the conversion last or just be temporary?

    Does anyone know of a successful and permanent transformation from gay to str8?

    (And I'm not trying to open up a can of worms about those so-called "conversion techniques" we often hear about.)

    No need to "read into" this question. I'm perfectly happy being very gay. I was just wondering.... :rolleyes:

    Thanks!
     
  2. Symphonic

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    To my knowledge in some individuals sexuality oscillates. It's possible, but extremely rare, though most people have been conditioned to believe that you "awaken" to your true sexuality rather than switching.

    Then there's the school of thought that sexuality is fluid and formless anyway, therefore undermining the idea that "switching" is possible at all since you will simply adapt to your current situation and attraction. It's not equivalent to bisexuality however as bisexuality mandates you are attracted to both sexes, not one sex at a time, etc.

    [ More technical stuff here ]
     
  3. joshunot

    joshunot New Member

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    A number of my gay friends over the years have eventually married, some have even had kids but most keep their ties with their former gay life doing the bars and clubs with wifey in tow.
     
  4. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    This is totally alien to me.
     
  5. crescendo69

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    I believe anyone can discover attractions to new things as they grow, including different sexual techniques, acts or even gender to which they were accustomed. But to completely change preferences from one side to the other is unlikely. They will most likely retain some of their older preferences, thus becoming bisexual.
     
  6. Symphonic

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    "Becoming" bisexual is extremely rare, considering bisexuality in and of itself through the common school of thought is also rare ( 4% ) and retention of one's sexual urges usually does not formulate. Essentially if you were to switch, truly on a biological level, you would completely switch. Considering it's rare in and of itself, albeit possible, there's little reason to believe that said discoveries you brought up play into sexuality at all.

    There is a stark difference between enjoying something and being attracted to that something, and while naturally we connect the two with little to no differential in this case and on these topics it is imperative that we go the extra mile to realize that not only is sexuality dancing a dangerous line, but so are paraphilias and phobias, sexual activities in general, and the mindset of the person in question.
     
  7. Alem0909

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    I used to think I was bi but after a while I found out I really wasn't into it at all and I consider myself straight now.
     
  8. erratic

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    Our definitions of sexuality are dictate our personal understanding of it - which, unfortunately, leads to a lot of (if not most) people labeling themselves something they are not. One of the outstanding things this website does is let members describe their sexuality in terms of percentages rather than categories.

    That being said, I doubt anyone who is 100% one of the other would ever go 100% the other way - that is, unless they weren't being completely honest or were just saying they were 100% because that's consonant with the sexual orientation to which they ascribed themselves.
     
  9. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    damn.
     
  10. MovingForward

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    I had sex with a woman one time in my life and I sometimes wonder if I could ever do it again.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    I know huh? :wink:

    I was going to come up with that sad ole cliche "you just haven't had anyone good enough yet", but I decided against it.

    Oh wait, I just did, didn't I :eek:

    Oh well, deal with it :cool:
     
  12. B_stevekorgman

    B_stevekorgman New Member

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    I have a good friend who used to profess to being gay as a tree full of chickadees. He exclusively dated men for years, although he appeared very str8. After some time he met a woman with whom he shared a lot of interests. Over the years they eventually became intimate and two years ago were married. They have a child and are expecting another one. He tells me that their sex life is outstanding, yet he does admit that a good looking guy will still turn his head and he has gay-fantasy dreams. He insists he hasn't had gay sex in many years and plans to stay faithful to his wife. He says he'll never be 100 str8 but says he's damn close. I've seen a tremendous change in his outlook and interests in the things we used to share.
     
  13. LongandBigSub

    LongandBigSub New Member

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    When you say conversion, people may assume a gay man doesn't want to be gay, and wants to be straight in order to fit into society, so he will find a method to convert his homosexuality into heterosexuality.

    I don't think conversion works in that sense, and most of the psychotherapy groups that do this often have very low success rates, because a gay man is trying to get rid of his sexual feelings for men by converting them instead of embracing them. And there's nothing wrong with gay feelings (grin)

    So I don't think conversion works.

    But I do think people change over a period of time. We change tastes in music and clothes over the years, and I think we also can change our tastes in sexual partners. When I was in my teens, I defined myself as gay, but now years later, I find myself attracted to women more and more. I still like to pursue men, but then I find myself attracted to the sensitivity of a woman. I didn't feel this way back in my teens, but I do feel that way now.

    I also think that I were to focus in this direction more and more, I would in time feel more comfortable with a woman than a man. Yet right now, I feel like a man that likes women, but would be interested in a relationship with a guy. In all depends on what would make me happy!

    Some may say I'm not embracing my gayness, and I disagree. I'm just embracing the many facets of my feelings towards men and women, and no one can be categorized.We should never follow the mold of others say a gay man acts like this, or a straight man acts like this. Just do what feels best to you!
     
  14. rob_just_rob

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    "
     
  15. Principessa

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    I think there was a thread about this maybe 3 years ago but I don't recall them ever reaching a definitive answer. :confused: Unless it involved some horrible 'religion based conversion therapy' I have never heard of someone going from 100% gay to 100% straight. If this did occur I would tend to believe that perhaps the person always had straight tendencies or were straight curious.
     
  16. andrexx

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    The reason we hear about people going from 'straight' to 'gay' isn't because they had a sudden (or usually even slow) change in sexuality - it's usually because they were always gay and were forced by society to embrace the 'straight' title or be outed. Eventually, they either come out of the closet or they get caught.

    We are taught in society that everyone is straight...except for the 'misfits' who like to be gay and 'sinful'. Of course, this isn't true. Most people who I know who are gay weren't straight and suddenly realize they were gay. They had always liked guys (or girls, I suppose, but I don't really know too many lesbians) for most of their lives, though when they were younger, didn't even realize it was weird. It just...was. Then society told them they were wrong for it so they hushed up.

    Blah...I'm ranting. But what I'm essentially trying to get at is that most people don't change sexuality. They just either didn't realize their preference in the first place...or they have always been and have just been hiding it.
     
  17. heist

    heist New Member

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    Building on this point, one thing to consider is that, by society's standards, "straight" is the expected condition. Therefore, it makes sense that it would be more notable for people to be known for doing the "unexpected." This is the basis of heteronormativity.

    That said, given the rather liberal way people use labels, I would expect that there is someone out there who has changed from "gay" to "straight." Whether that change means the same thing to you as it does to them is a different matter. But the point is, even if we take the most restrictive stance and claim that sexuality is rigid/inborn, it is disregarded anyway by the fact that people don't label themselves very well (due to societal pressures or their own misgivings about labels).
     
  18. killerb

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    I haven't personally seen anyone go from gay to straight or the other way around...

    although I do know a guy who had relationships with other men and is now in a relationship with a woman...but I also know he still likes men...and he still has sex w/ them...
     
  19. luka82

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    U are born with an apetite for DICK!
    that just never dies:)
     
  20. BigDallasDick8x6

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    Some of these religious conversion therapies (i.e. Colin Cook's Exodus) I have seen claim that as a gay man if you have sex with a woman, you have successfully become straight.

    That's as crazy as some the str8 guys on here who claim ONE gay experience means you are gay.

    ONE experience with either gender does not make you anything. Some gay guys have slept with women (me included). It does not make them straight.

    Some straight guys have experimented with dudes. It does not make them gay.

    These "former" gay guys who are now behaviorily straight almost always admit to desires for men on some level. To me your desires, lusts, and fantasies are more indicative of who you really are than what you say or what you do. So no, they have not switched to str8 IMHO.
     
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