From my Sociology Class Today....

[Rikter8]

Something that just put me off track completely...and in a room full of straight people...I just fumed rather than say anything.

The topic was on how other cultures/religions love, live, and seek companionship, and how each one may be slightly different. The definition of Love came into play as well.

So a married guy in the corner Bousts out "What about gays?"

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I spoke up and said "The same thing straight people want". But that comment got brushed over quickly, and the "I don't know what they want, or I dont know if they are capable of loving the same way" was enforced and distilled upon the class.

I just needed to vent... not sure if I should speak up in tomorrows class or not... if it comes up again.

What I should have said, being that we were on the topic of Different cultural beliefs, is said:
"Gay men are absolutely NO different than Straight Men, with the exception that they are attracted to the same gender. Everything is absolutely the same. The Same wants, dreams, need for affection, companionship, EVERYTHING is the same"

Whats your take? Help me put my mind at ease.
C

 

[naughty]

C,

I am so sorry sweetie. I suppose there is a lot of insentivity out here.You are so right that gay is just one part of a much bigger person. It is just one part of who anyone is.... I feel blessed having gay friends and having a window into their lives. I do not know what I would feel like if I were swimming against the current....

Something that just put me off track completely...and in a room full of straight people...I just fumed rather than say anything.

The topic was on how other cultures/religions love, live, and seek companionship, and how each one may be slightly different. The definition of Love came into play as well.

So a married guy in the corner Bousts out "What about gays?"

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I spoke up and said "The same thing straight people want". But that comment got brushed over quickly, and the "I don't know what they want, or I dont know if they are capable of loving the same way" was enforced and distilled upon the class.

I just needed to vent... not sure if I should speak up in tomorrows class or not... if it comes up again.

What I should have said, being that we were on the topic of Different cultural beliefs, is said:
"Gay men are absolutely NO different than Straight Men, with the exception that they are attracted to the same gender. Everything is absolutely the same. The Same wants, dreams, need for affection, companionship, EVERYTHING is the same"

Whats your take? Help me put my mind at ease.
C

 

[Pradadox]

I'm sorry to hear that. First of all, don't beat yourself up over what you shoulda said. Hindsight is 20/20 and take it from me, it's really hard to be *the* advocate all the time and exhausting. I am really sorry that you had to deal with it in the first place. If you decide you do want to bring it up again next class and you get a similar response. There's a few things i might suggest. If you don't feel like you can speak up during class go to him afterwards and tell him how it made you feel. I've said the following to professors before:
"I was kind of upset by what you said in class, i know i'm not the only one. It is one thing to play devil's advocate but some of us feel like you were voicing your personal opinion. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but for those of us who aren't straight... well they kinda wonder if they'll recieve fair treatment in your class because of how you feel. It really hurt the feelings of gay, straight, even bi students and i don't think that's what you meant."
I know he just might not be responsive or care, but really all you can do is say your peace and let it go. Even if he holds tight to it, you have the chance of at least making others think about it and possibly arriving at a more accepting position.
I noticed your profile says unsure. So i don't know how you want to take it up. As someone who's straight, bi, or gay. But if he doesn't know "what they want" maybe he should ask? He's making assumptions. Based on what? I mean he's a proffessor, i'm sure he's written papers before. He of all people should know better than to make such statements without something to back it up.

Most importantly, he is entitled to his opinions, but he is not entitled to his own facts.
Really really sorry Rikter i hope this helps. If it does i'll try to think about this more and post again for you.

Something that just put me off track completely...and in a room full of straight people...I just fumed rather than say anything.

The topic was on how other cultures/religions love, live, and seek companionship, and how each one may be slightly different. The definition of Love came into play as well.

So a married guy in the corner Bousts out "What about gays?"

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I spoke up and said "The same thing straight people want". But that comment got brushed over quickly, and the "I don't know what they want, or I dont know if they are capable of loving the same way" was enforced and distilled upon the class.

I just needed to vent... not sure if I should speak up in tomorrows class or not... if it comes up again.

What I should have said, being that we were on the topic of Different cultural beliefs, is said:
"Gay men are absolutely NO different than Straight Men, with the exception that they are attracted to the same gender. Everything is absolutely the same. The Same wants, dreams, need for affection, companionship, EVERYTHING is the same"

Whats your take? Help me put my mind at ease.
C

 

[prepstudinsc]

C-
I'd just be bold and say what you feel. Tell the professor in a one on one talk that you were offended by what he said and that the only thing different between gay people and straight people is who they sleep with.

The only way to battle ignorance is to educate.

Something that just put me off track completely...and in a room full of straight people...I just fumed rather than say anything.

The topic was on how other cultures/religions love, live, and seek companionship, and how each one may be slightly different. The definition of Love came into play as well.

So a married guy in the corner Bousts out "What about gays?"

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I spoke up and said "The same thing straight people want". But that comment got brushed over quickly, and the "I don't know what they want, or I dont know if they are capable of loving the same way" was enforced and distilled upon the class.

I just needed to vent... not sure if I should speak up in tomorrows class or not... if it comes up again.

What I should have said, being that we were on the topic of Different cultural beliefs, is said:
"Gay men are absolutely NO different than Straight Men, with the exception that they are attracted to the same gender. Everything is absolutely the same. The Same wants, dreams, need for affection, companionship, EVERYTHING is the same"

Whats your take? Help me put my mind at ease.
C

 

[joyboytoy79]

Rik,

You're absolutely right. There is only one difference between people who are attracted to the same sex and those who are attracted to the opposite sex: which sex they are attracted to. On both sides of the fence you have people who are interested in just sex, interested in just money, interested in love, and the myriad of other wants and needs.

Perhaps one day every one else will understand.

 

[Gisella]

Something that just put me off track completely...and in a room full of straight people...I just fumed rather than say anything.

The topic was on how other cultures/religions love, live, and seek companionship, and how each one may be slightly different. The definition of Love came into play as well.

So a married guy in the corner Bousts out "What about gays?"

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I spoke up and said "The same thing straight people want". But that comment got brushed over quickly, and the "I don't know what they want, or I dont know if they are capable of loving the same way" was enforced and distilled upon the class.

I just needed to vent... not sure if I should speak up in tomorrows class or not... if it comes up again.

What I should have said, being that we were on the topic of Different cultural beliefs, is said:
"Gay men are absolutely NO different than Straight Men, with the exception that they are attracted to the same gender. Everything is absolutely the same. The Same wants, dreams, need for affection, companionship, EVERYTHING is the same"

Whats your take? Help me put my mind at ease.
C

Rikter...you please have to say something at least to instructor..omg, how a teacher come up with something like that ? Wired as not human to love? Is he crazy? I maybe not understanding right?

I'm sorry to whats happened and your hurt but be very objective as you go talk to him, because he was very dumb saying that as "instructor". He has to make emendements!

You go and then you come back here tell us, pls!

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

I am a professor (though not in sociology). I can't imagine that in sociology. I would guess that you are at a private university, not a public one, although I've met plenty of ignorant profs from public universities and I've taught at several private ones (including where I am right now), where that would not happen. I might also guess that either that prof hasn't been teaching very long, or on the other hand, has been teaching so long that on some level he doesn't care what he says.....

 

[jakeatolla]

Gays should be allowed to Marry.

They deserve to be miserable just like the rest of us !!! :wink: :biggrin1:

 

[Wrey]

This one needs to go to the dean, my friend. In a sociology of all places. It's the small comments, the little things that add up in people's minds that keeps 'vintage mentality' like that alive and well.

Also, I must agree with many of the other posters. We all wish that in such a situation we could pipe up and effect a profound change in the thinking of others, but this is a tiring role to have to assume at all times.

But with that said, don't let this go! Speak to the dean, the administration, whom ever will listen and has authority. You were slighted in the very halls of learning that are supposed to enlighten us.

 

[Pradadox]

So, i wonder whether i should approve of the right sentiment for the wrong reasons.... hmmmm :wink:

Gays should be allowed to Marry.

They deserve to be miserable just like the rest of us !!! :wink: :biggrin1:

 

[tripod]

That sucks that you are in a sociology class with a bunch of douchebags!!!!!!
They sound like fundamentalist Christians... do you go to Bob Jones University? lol!!!!

 

[Belly_Dancer]

Rik,

You're absolutely right. There is only one difference between people who are attracted to the same sex and those who are attracted to the opposite sex: which sex they are attracted to. On both sides of the fence you have people who are interested in just sex, interested in just money, interested in love, and the myriad of other wants and needs.

Perhaps one day every one else will understand.

I could not have said it better myself.

People are people. End of story.

 

[Shelby]

First off, sociology and all the rest of the soft sciences suck.

Secondly, men are more promiscuous than women. Therein lies the difference.

Fire away.

 

[Belly_Dancer]

First off, sociology and all the rest of the soft sciences suck.

Secondly, men are more promiscuous than women. Therein lies the difference.

Fire away.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

 

[Shelby]

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Apparently not.:tongue:

 

[GoneA]

My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

**tries to adjust his wires so he can be straight and normal**

 

[Rikter8]

straight and normal**

Heres one to twist your noodle - Define Normal.

It is a private university that I just started to finish out my program.

I'll say something today if the topic comes up.
Every one knows everyone in the class due to their course outline, and most of them have had the same classes, the same semesters etc.
Im the new kid on the block, so I dont want to come off as the troublemaker and snub my nose early on.

But, I agree with you folks, I don't think that it was right either, and I think I'll either say it in private, OR I'll just send out a message during one of our class discussions, and try to set the record straight.

Whether they choose to accept it, is a whole-nother story.
Wish me luck - today is the last day, one quiz in the morning, Final exam in the afternoon.
C

 

[Gisella]

Heres one to twist your noodle - Define Normal.

It is a private university that I just started to finish out my program.

I'll say something today if the topic comes up.
Every one knows everyone in the class due to their course outline, and most of them have had the same classes, the same semesters etc.
Im the new kid on the block, so I dont want to come off as the troublemaker and snub my nose early on.

But, I agree with you folks, I don't think that it was right either, and I think I'll either say it in private, OR I'll just send out a message during one of our class discussions, and try to set the record straight.

Whether they choose to accept it, is a whole-nother story.
Wish me luck - today is the last day, one quiz in the morning, Final exam in the afternoon.
C

Yes, here you go!

And Rikter...I'm maybe bit ignorant as not understanding much about academic stuff..but if its a class open discussions about culture religions etc about how people love etc...and people are open to learn the differences between cultures etc..you are going to give a favor to them to brought it up, introduce and clear their minds about human beings in their own culture they are not reckognizin as human and dismissing them, because of ignorance of "them" and many other things...how come you dismiss someones love only because they love the same? It does not make sense...than if someone are studying about even crossing political cultural borders to learn as how others express love in their comunities etc knowingly they are different but love because they are humans of course, how can they dismiss "gays" as not knowing they are capable to love? Only because they love same sex persons?

Its simple, at least to me to first know who are the humans who live in our planet are wired the same. If them dont learn that before live home they are going to crash and dont have trully full picture of expressions of love and object of love going own. How are you going to learn much layers if you dont know the basics? How someone plan travel far away like that when you dont ?

I hope I make sense...because I dont know many times organize thoughts I want express in simple way.

Anyway you go and "the force" will be with you! :biggrin1:

Kisses

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

That such an ignorant statement came from the professor of a sociology class is an indicator of the dubious value of that class. If you don't mind dueling with ignorance, I'd have at him. I have a good idea how he'll react, but it would be interesting to see how the rest of the class responds.

 

[DC_DEEP]

<...>
My Instructor replies: "Well they are wired different. I dont know what they want, as im married".

I'm not wired different[ly]. I'm not wired at all. I'm solid state.

I agree. Since the instructor ignored your comments in class, you should speak with the dean.