I had a fuck buddy for the first time last fall. It was problematic but VERY rewarding while it lasted.
She was an old acquaintance from high school. We'd been, I guess, "friends," but only in the sense that we often hung out in the same group because we had some mutual friends we were both close with. I actually found her VERY annoying and hated being around her most of the time. We struck up more of a friendship when she went off to college and we actually became pen pals for a while. Then she eventually annoyed the piss out of me again and I broke contact and we barely saw each other or spoke for years. Last summer she randomly contacted a few of us and we made plans to hang out, and she looked really great when I saw her. I was hard and staring down her shirt through most of the time we were hanging out. A perennially (and BITTERLY) single friend of mine was angry because she's the type who thinks NOBODY should be getting attention or sex if she isn't, and I had to hide my attraction because I didn't wanna deal with the friend's bitching. That in itself made a whole EXTRA angle of difficulty.
In moments the bitch was away, I was hitting on the girl extra hard. Once during last a terrible heatwave late last August, a group of us were at a nightclub where the AC broke. The girl and I both wear glasses, and it was so bad in the club that our lenses were steaming up just from sitting at the table and drinking, so we excused ourselves and went outside for a while just to be able to see again. We sat on some stairs, me one step above her, and I unabashedly stared down her low-cut blouse and asked questions about her boobs. She told me she was a DD and I didn't believe her because I'm very good at guessing bra sizes. She swore it was true and I reached over, pulled her blouse open, and looked inside; she didn't stop me. I still didn't believe her, and without looking over, she said in a completely businesslike manner, "Eh. Maybe I'll show you sometime."
Responding in kind and also looking ahead, I very professionally said, "We need to have sex."
She said, "...What?"
I said, "We need to have sex."
She said, "....No." Pause. "No." Pause. "I dunno. Maybe."
I looked squarely at her, flashed a huge smirk, and said, "Yeah. Yeah, we should. You need to be fucked."
I could tell I was really getting to her, but she continued not looking at me and shrugged. "Eh. We'll see."
Well, a lot of dirty IMing happened in the following days, and the next week the bitch and I ended up hanging at the girl's house after a night of drinking, and the bitch had picked up on the intense vibe between us and was actually refusing to leave us alone together. She wouldn't say it, but she never left us alone in any room that entire night, and never once went to the bathroom in all the hours we were together--and this girl has a bladder the size of a gnat and pees CONSTANTLY, so she was making a very painful sacrifice to keep us from hooking up, which was so stupid and petty. It got to be like four in the morning and we were ALL yawning and exhausted but the girl wouldn't kick us out and I wouldn't suggest leaving because we wanted the bitch to give up and go. We finally realized she wouldn't, and she kept saying that she needed to follow me out to the main road because she would get lost (which was a total lie), so I finally got in the car and led her out, then ditched her, turned around, and drove back. It was 5am and we fucking ATTACKED each other.
For several weeks, we got together whenever possible and had the fucking hottest sex. I'm talking deeply, intensely, excruciatingly powerful orgasms. It was criminally good. I got attached very quickly, though, and about a week in I was asking her on dates. She immediately shut me down, reminding me that she was serious when we agreed that there wasn't time and it wasn't practical because we're not a match. I, a little hurt, said I understood, and took the steps to mentally compartmentalize sex, which is a wonderful ability to have, I've learned. The interesting thing was that over time SHE became attached and began wanting more from me, and by that time I'd gotten over the whole thing and viewed it very much as just a physical arrangement, and was in fact openly pursuing other girls (and encouraging her to look for a guy who was a good fit). Even though the sex was amazing, in spending time with her I'd been reminded just HOW different and wrong we were for anything else, and I was NOT having the idea of getting into some ill-fitting romance.
She started getting weird and flaking out. She'd call for an appointment and then cancel minutes before. After weeks of this, I finally said if she backed out one more time she could forget it, and she came back with this crap about how she was having a hard time with the idea of having sex with someone when she wasn't involved with them. My answer was, "Tough. You laid out the ground rules--this is what YOU wanted. I tried to change that and you weren't havin it. I'm following YOUR request, and I'm not interested in anything else." So she threatened to break it off, and I think she believed she was calling my bluff. I didn't cave, and it ended. A few months later she came back, wanting to get physical again, and I said okay, if it wasn't gonna get like last time again. She said okay, then made an appointment, then canned it again at the last minute and cited the same damn issue. I went off on her and said that one of the worst offenses someone can give me is wasting my time, and that's what she'd done, and for that she'd just lost me as a friend. I blocked her screen name, deleted her number, and since we don't run in the same circles I don't have to worry about seeing her.
We have not spoken since, and I have nothing left to say to her. The bitch (whom I've since cut off for completely different and justified reasons) saw her a few months ago and said she looks like hell and has gained 50 pounds and seems miserable. Oh well. Shame she had to get weird and ruin a good thing, but I'll always have the memories of the KILLER sex we had, and I still get off REALLY hard thinking about it. Re: the dissolution of the friendship, I don't feel I lost anything at all because she was frequently annoying, had a TON of issues, was very boring, wasn't particularly nice, and we had NOTHING in common. Our renewed friendship wouldn't have lasted very long if we hadn't had the sex, ironically enough. We wouldn't have kept finding reasons to be around each other except that we were testing the water. She's not someone I miss having in my life in any way.
I don't regret anything that happened, not one bit, and I think it was good life/sexual experience. I'd recommend that sort of relationship to anyone IF they're mature enough to be able to handle it without becoming too attached or getting jealous when the person pursues others. Clearly, not everybody's wired for that sort of involvement.
