swimmersox
Expert Member
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2009
- Posts
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- East Coast US
- Sexuality
- 50% Straight, 50% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Here's my experience, as an admittedly bi, but predominantly straight guy:
# FB situations NEVER work with women. The emotional chemistry between the sexes, and that of women especially (IMHO) preclude anything approaching a clean and easy NSA/FB liason. Emotions will always get in the way and/or eventually screw it up. [Yes, I'm generalizing here, and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'd bet they're pretty few and far between, if people are really being honest about it.]
# Between men, however, FB/NSA situations can actually work very well, though their workability diminishes proportionally, it seems to me, according to how casually/well the guys know each other. That is, if they are really close friends going into the FB relationship (or become close friends during it), then the same kind of emotional-static hazards that kill male-female FB situations start to come into play, too -- albeit in somewhat weaker form, in my opinion. But where the guys don't otherwise know each other too well, and don't really try to get to know each other emotionally, FB/NSA relationships can and are terrific, stable, and mutually a helluva lot of fun. (Yes, I'm biased, and yes, I'm referring to my own situation.) Guys, in my view, are just plain blessed (or cursed, if you wish) with the ability to draw a pretty clean line between what turns them on physically and what draws them in emotionally.
Of course, the best of all worlds, for both men and women, is to find someone with whom we can blend the emotional and physical. But that's not what this thread is about. It is about NSA/fuck buddy relationships, and in these, men's ability to separate the physical and the emotional works to their benefit. Hence the proliferation of NSA and FB liasions among gay men -- and the continuing frustration among straight men at the fact that this fabulous nirvana is one that is almost never sustainable.
So there!
# FB situations NEVER work with women. The emotional chemistry between the sexes, and that of women especially (IMHO) preclude anything approaching a clean and easy NSA/FB liason. Emotions will always get in the way and/or eventually screw it up. [Yes, I'm generalizing here, and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'd bet they're pretty few and far between, if people are really being honest about it.]
# Between men, however, FB/NSA situations can actually work very well, though their workability diminishes proportionally, it seems to me, according to how casually/well the guys know each other. That is, if they are really close friends going into the FB relationship (or become close friends during it), then the same kind of emotional-static hazards that kill male-female FB situations start to come into play, too -- albeit in somewhat weaker form, in my opinion. But where the guys don't otherwise know each other too well, and don't really try to get to know each other emotionally, FB/NSA relationships can and are terrific, stable, and mutually a helluva lot of fun. (Yes, I'm biased, and yes, I'm referring to my own situation.) Guys, in my view, are just plain blessed (or cursed, if you wish) with the ability to draw a pretty clean line between what turns them on physically and what draws them in emotionally.
Of course, the best of all worlds, for both men and women, is to find someone with whom we can blend the emotional and physical. But that's not what this thread is about. It is about NSA/fuck buddy relationships, and in these, men's ability to separate the physical and the emotional works to their benefit. Hence the proliferation of NSA and FB liasions among gay men -- and the continuing frustration among straight men at the fact that this fabulous nirvana is one that is almost never sustainable.
So there!
