I used to dread the holidays, but we have simplified things over the years which takes the dread and stress out of it.
1. A $25 spending cap per person on gifts for immediate family only, and dollar store Christmas cards (you're only going to look at it once and then throw it in the recycling bin, so why spend $10 on it?). We all have everything we need, so why go ass over end in debt buying things for people they don't need or want? My favorite is restaurant gift cards. None of us need more stuff, but a dinner out is always welcome and sometimes desperately needed.
2. Taking turns with Christmas dinner. My wife's family is extremely good about this (mine not so much). This year is our turn, so her family and mine will be coming over. Next year it's her sister's turn, and the year after that is her other sister's turn, so we go over there. This is fair in regards to cost and workload. No one should be burdened every year hosting and paying for dinner on Christmas Day. My family is welcome when we are hosting, but when it's my wife's family hosting, they can fend for themselves. I don't fall for the guilt crap from my family. There's nothing stopping them from hosting a dinner if they want to see us that badly. That of course shuts them up immediately. Because we were at my sister-in-law's place last Christmas Day, my family did their own thing. We saw my dad and step mother a week later and went to an inexpensive restaurant for our meal. We had dinner with my mother on Christmas Eve at her place. My sister does sweet fuck all for anyone, so I didn't see her at all which was fine with me. My dead beat brother who treats family like something to take off the shelf and play with when he feels nostalgic (and then ignore for the next year) thankfully lives on the other side of the country. All others are "not my problem". My mother is really bad for this. She always wants to have people over on Christmas Day who mean nothing to me. I tell her to go ahead and have her own Christmas with them, and I'll see her after Christmas. It's not my problem that some of her friends have deadbeat kids who ignore them over the holidays. That may sound cold, but it's non-stop with my mom. I would end up having a houseful of people over who mean nothing to me making it uncomfortable for my wife and I, and also costing us money to feed and create extra work to cater to and clean up after.
The first year in our first house we bought, we hosted 3 dinners in a row - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I was ready to slit my throat by Boxing Day. Never again! The first year in our new country home, my cousins weaseled an invitation to Christmas Day dinner, so it was a mad house. Between my immediate family as well as my wife's immediate family plus my cousins and their kids, there were about 30 people over. That was three years ago, and we still haven't received an invitation to their place for Christmas Day dinner despite their promise to us that they would "host next time". Needless to say I don't feel any guilt by saying "never again" in regards to them not being invited over. You really have to draw the line and stand your ground or people will take advantage. Everyone loves a free meal and not having to do any work.