Fuck! My fucking HAND!

[mephistopheles]

I've been having some problems recently...

I burned the living fuck out of my left hand blisters and missing skin on all my finger tips, and on my middle finger most of the skin is missing... I dont mind the pain... There is only one thing that bothers me...

I use my left hand to jerk off... and it's just not good with my left hand... it feels like some really old dude trying to gimme a hand job... and doing it horribly.

 

[StMonkey]

and here's where you learn to be ambi-dick-strous.

 

[Gillette]

and here's where you learn to be ambi-dick-strous.

I'm sure you mean, ambi-dick-strokes.

 

[dannymawg]

Dude look out for your- hand...

Here's to a speedy recovery :biggrin1:

A friend of mine once shared a change-up technique for switching hands...

Him: What hand are you?

Me: Right.

Him: OK so here's what you do: cut off the circulation to your arm and hand on the hand you don't use to jerk off - so that's your left - and when your left hand falls asleep, try jerking off with it. It's called "The Stranger".

Me: [blank stare]

 

[stretcher74]

you should be alternating hands anyways ot you'll end up bentdick.

 

[Ethyl]

I've been having some problems recently...

I burned the living fuck out of my left hand blisters and missing skin on all my finger tips, and on my middle finger most of the skin is missing... I dont mind the pain... There is only one thing that bothers me...

I use my left hand to jerk off... and it's just not good with my left hand... it feels like some really old dude trying to gimme a hand job... and doing it horribly.

Maybe now is a good time to learn self-sucking.:biggrin1:

 

[B_big dirigible]

Depends on how you burned it.

If it was friction, you're way ahead of most of us.

 

[dolf250]

Him: OK so here's what you do: cut off the circulation to your arm and hand on the hand you don't use to jerk off - so that's your left - and when your left hand falls asleep, try jerking off with it. It's called "The Stranger".

Me: [blank stare]

That sounds a little too strange and I think I will rename that one “the molester.”

 

[AlteredEgo]

I am trying not to laugh, and failing.

I really am sorry that you are suffering, though. Here's to a speedy recovery in the new year!

*huggles*

 

[Love-it]

How did you burn your hand? Is the healing process complete or are you still recovering?

 

[HazelGod]

Maybe now is a good time to learn self-sucking.:biggrin1:

I was going to suggest autobopperbasting. :wink:

And just how the hell does the devil manage to burn himself, anyhow?!?

 

[2322]

Now's a great time to:

A. Use lube (if you don't usually).

B. Get a Fleshlight because it doesn't matter what hand you use. It's the closest thing to real there is.

C. Think happy spiritual thoughts about God and your family while soaking your nads in ice water.

D. Just wait. You'll get horny enough that a cheese grater will get you off.

 

[D_alex8]

C. Think happy spiritual thoughts about God and your family while soaking your nads in ice water.

Knowing Mephisto, I'm almost certain that this is precisely what he will be doing.

 

[vinny_spiruccino]

You might get some relief. "Nocturnal Emissions" are quite natural and common if one gets a bit... say, backed up. The flleshlights a good idea too, though you'll have to wait for it to arrive in plain brown packaging.

 

[chuck216]

Why hasn't anyone just suggested the obvious, and tell him to get someone to do it for him

 

[B_Think_Kink]

must be a reason why they didn't suggest it...

 

[yupp40]

do the pillow hump! works with the bed, blankets, pillows, anything soft. But I totally see why you would be upset, cuz I was thinking about what it would be like to have a cast on my hand and not be able to jack it. well, good luck with it and good luck with your charred hand

 

[B_josiah852]

you should be alternating hands anyways ot you'll end up bentdick.

Oh dammmm. Is what how that happened ? I should have known better.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Why hasn't anyone just suggested the obvious, and tell him to get someone to do it for him

You don't know Meph.
And neither does anyone else on the planet. Heh heh.
And if he goes where his friends are, his whole body will be crisp. Heh heh.:biggrin1:

 

[B_rag0007]

.........just get yourself a handout....try BENNY's.....