Fuck! My fucking HAND!

Discussion in 'Show Off' started by mephistopheles, Dec 28, 2006.

  1. mephistopheles

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    I've been having some problems recently...

    I burned the living fuck out of my left hand blisters and missing skin on all my finger tips, and on my middle finger most of the skin is missing... I dont mind the pain... There is only one thing that bothers me...

    I use my left hand to jerk off... and it's just not good with my left hand... it feels like some really old dude trying to gimme a hand job... and doing it horribly.

    :mad:
     
  2. StMonkey

    StMonkey Member

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    See where you are? not there.
    and here's where you learn to be ambi-dick-strous.
     
  3. Gillette

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    I'm sure you mean, ambi-dick-strokes.
     
  4. dannymawg

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    Dude look out for your- hand...

    Here's to a speedy recovery :biggrin1:

    A friend of mine once shared a change-up technique for switching hands...

    Him: What hand are you?

    Me: Right.

    Him: OK so here's what you do: cut off the circulation to your arm and hand on the hand you don't use to jerk off - so that's your left - and when your left hand falls asleep, try jerking off with it. It's called "The Stranger".

    Me: [blank stare]
     
  5. stretcher74

    stretcher74 New Member

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    you should be alternating hands anyways ot you'll end up bentdick.
     
  6. Ethyl

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    Maybe now is a good time to learn self-sucking.:biggrin1:
     
  7. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    Depends on how you burned it.

    If it was friction, you're way ahead of most of us.
     
  8. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    That sounds a little too strange and I think I will rename that one “the molester.”
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    I am trying not to laugh, and failing.

    I really am sorry that you are suffering, though. Here's to a speedy recovery in the new year!

    *huggles*
     
  10. Love-it

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    How did you burn your hand? Is the healing process complete or are you still recovering?
     
  11. HazelGod

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    I was going to suggest autobopperbasting. :wink:

    And just how the hell does the devil manage to burn himself, anyhow?!?
     
  12. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Now's a great time to:

    A. Use lube (if you don't usually).

    B. Get a Fleshlight because it doesn't matter what hand you use. It's the closest thing to real there is.

    C. Think happy spiritual thoughts about God and your family while soaking your nads in ice water.

    D. Just wait. You'll get horny enough that a cheese grater will get you off.
     
  13. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Knowing Mephisto, I'm almost certain that this is precisely what he will be doing. :rolleyes:
     
  14. vinny_spiruccino

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    You might get some relief. "Nocturnal Emissions" are quite natural and common if one gets a bit... say, backed up. The flleshlights a good idea too, though you'll have to wait for it to arrive in plain brown packaging.
     
  15. chuck216

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    Why hasn't anyone just suggested the obvious, and tell him to get someone to do it for him :)
     
  16. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    must be a reason why they didn't suggest it...
     
  17. yupp40

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    do the pillow hump! works with the bed, blankets, pillows, anything soft. But I totally see why you would be upset, cuz I was thinking about what it would be like to have a cast on my hand and not be able to jack it. well, good luck with it and good luck with your charred hand
     
  18. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    Oh dammmm. Is what how that happened ? I should have known better.
     
  19. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    You don't know Meph.
    And neither does anyone else on the planet. Heh heh.
    And if he goes where his friends are, his whole body will be crisp. Heh heh.:biggrin1:
     
  20. B_rag0007

    B_rag0007 New Member

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    .........just get yourself a handout....try BENNY's.....
     
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