Fuckbuddy to best friend need advice

str8guy_

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Before u start commenting on my 1% status this isn't what I'm asking about.I met a guy at a porn shop couple yrs ago and for about a year we just got together every couple months to mess around. Then we started talking to eachother more often an became friends. We have both met each others families, went on trips together, and there for eachother when we had problems. We still mess around some but lately it seams like he doesn't want to do anything and I would rather do stuff with him and he would rather do it with a stranger. I'm fine with no messing around if that's what it takes to be friends. Iv never had a friend like him before but seams like we are always getting into it about something and it normally involves sex. What do I need to do?
 

notN2pussy

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Wow, tough spot, hard to comment. I understand as I have similar situation . Had a buddy I met on a guy meeting site, we were just friends, not his type, but got to be pretty good friends. a year ago it became physical, was still cool for both of us. Now the last few months hes gotten busy and not so much friends, just wants to hook up a few times a month.Not sure its worth it for me.
 

lopo2000

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Hey, um, I know that you asked not to focus on your 1%, but man, it does sound like you have feelings for him. But I'm not sure what you asked though; are you still in contact with him?
 

rbkwp

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Sorry
not sure what you are asking?

Do you just want to remain on a friendly basis?

Are you in love with him?

are you finding it overwhelming

Just what are you asking or expecting?
 

brockli

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What do you mean you are always getting into it about something (normally involving sex)? Do you guys argue? Do you think that he is not comfortable with something anymore?
 

str8guy_

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I'm not even sure what I'm asking lol. I want to be friends more than anything. I do like playing around together but if I have to give up something I'd rather it be that than a friend. He had a rough childhood and alot of problems in his life and it's like he pushs people away that actually care about him and goes to strangers to get what he needs. His wife has no idea we mess around but she dealing with same kind of stuff. She is just used to it I guess. What I guess I'm asking is it possible to be friends that just happen to fuck and if so how do u make it work?
 

Guill

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Ask him if he wants to just be friends and not mess around? See what's going on in his life. If you are ok with that transition then I don't see what the problem is.
 

rbkwp

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His wife has no idea we mess around but she dealing with same kind of stuff. She is just used to it I guess. What I guess I'm asking is it possible to be friends that just happen to fuck and if so how do u make it work?





Thanks for replying

Geuss i would personally be looking at stating to your friend that is how you would like it to remain,just a real good Friendship and to be fair to his Wife,knock the Sexual stuff between yourselves, on the head
2 Mature Adults like yourself and friend should work that out OK huh?


an aside
his work at a Porn Shop, hope he is not treating you (in a nice way- altho unfair to his Wife) as his sexual outlet for the horniness he is possibly getting from that job???
just an xtra thought ..
 

rayray

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Before u start commenting on my 1% status this isn't what I'm asking about.I met a guy at a porn shop couple yrs ago and for about a year we just got together every couple months to mess around. Then we started talking to eachother more often an became friends. We have both met each others families, went on trips together, and there for eachother when we had problems. We still mess around some but lately it seams like he doesn't want to do anything and I would rather do stuff with him and he would rather do it with a stranger. I'm fine with no messing around if that's what it takes to be friends. Iv never had a friend like him before but seams like we are always getting into it about something and it normally involves sex. What do I need to do?

It seems to me that your friendship is evolving to a point to where the messing around is less inportant to . You say that's OK with you ? It sounds like you are better friends then sexual partners , after all he has a wife. I had a similar situation that started in 95 but with identical twin brothers. Neither one was really gay but just fooling around with each one seperatly when we first met would happen. Today they are still really good friends..We have each others back and can count on each other to be there for help or an ear if needed.The one twin I will call Jay just flew me to NYC for Christmas and paid for the whole holiday just so we could have a nice Christmas together..The other brother I will call John also flew up to stay with us. Friendships are great when they are well defined.