Fucking a friend...

[B_Think_Kink]

Okay so as some of the people in chat know I've been after a straight boy (shocking I know).... but there is a catch here. We've been friends for 10+ years. We've kept in good contact for the past 3 years or so, where I knew his girlfriends and intimate stuff about him. I liked him but it was nothing serious.. I used to make plays at him all the time.. but only recently did it get really interesting. It started with him sharing info about being more horny than usual from working out.. and that night we fooled around a tad bit.. it was 2am in the morning and I had school so it wasn't getting serious. He's got beautiful balls and a very perfect uncut cock..

The problem is, I've never really had to make decisions sober about having sex with someone so close to me.. I try and think about what I might do at the time.. but I can't; and this is something that needs to be planned.

Last night when I was drunk I got the guts to ask him some stuff on msn... the jist of it was: he doesn't like to beat around the bush, just likes to do it. No teeth and lots of tongue with head, balls can be played with but he doesn't care.

I've been trying to formulate what I might do to him... he likes girls that move in bed... I'm quite the opposite.. I like laying and enjoying.

My plan is to get trashed and fuck him.. then I'll be able to kiss him and I'll be in more of a euphoric state where I'm more apt to try things...

Give my some suggestions please!!!

 

[Principessa]

In my experience if you have to get trashed to fuck a man you should not be fucking that man. Why would you want your first time to be dulled or hampered by alcohol? If you really like him and want something more than a FWB, I think you should do this sober.

Most guys won't admit it; but they rarely if ever have any respect or use for a drunk woman after they leave his bed. So if you plan on getting drunk, just know it will be your first and last time being with him. :redface:

 

[Osiris]

Sounds like you know what you want, I'm just not sure that you want to do it drunk. Maybe mildly buzzed, but everytime I have had sex drunk, things came out that I didn't need to and the situations (though sexually awesome) never repeated as a result. If the guy is really interested in you, you two should be able to do a little give and take. Him giving you some lay back and enjoy it time and you giving him some "bed breaking" sex time. It can be done, but you two have crossed a big hurdle, yo've talked about what you like and most long term couples can't get to that point.

You are a highty intelligent and pretty up front kind of woman, I have no doubt you can make a real success of this. The only thing I am mystified about is what suggestions you could want? I really think you have this more in hand than you think. No pun intended.

 

[Osiris]

In my experience if you have to get trashed to fuck a man you should not be fucking that man. Why would you want your first time to be dulled or hampered by alcohol? If you really like him and want something more than a FWB, I think you should do this sober.

Most guys won't admit it; but they rarely if ever have any respect or use for a drunk woman after they leave his bed. So if you plan on getting drunk, just know it will be your first and last time being with him. :redface:

You are on the right track babe, but from a male standpoint, we usually have nothing more to do with the drunk woman because we are asking ourselves "Am I so bad that she had to get drunk just to get in bed with me?"

I would not hate on her for having a belt or two to get loose. It is a scary thing when you get the shot at someone you have been pursuing for a while. A shot or two of whiskey can knock the butterflies out and you will be a little more relaxed and able to concentrate on pleasing each other rather than "What am I doing wrong? He isn't into me? What should I do?"

If your tolerance is low, think of something else that will take your mind off the nervousness and that will also help.

 

[Jovial]

The problem is, I've never really had to make decisions sober about having sex with someone so close to me.. I try and think about what I might do at the time.. but I can't; and this is something that needs to be planned.

Last night when I was drunk I got the guts to ask him some stuff on msn... the jist of it was: he doesn't like to beat around the bush, just likes to do it. No teeth and lots of tongue with head, balls can be played with but he doesn't care.

I've been trying to formulate what I might do to him... he likes girls that move in bed... I'm quite the opposite.. I like laying and enjoying.

My plan is to get trashed and fuck him.. then I'll be able to kiss him and I'll be in more of a euphoric state where I'm more apt to try things...

Give my some suggestions please!!!

My suggestion would be to work through why you can't be intimate with someone unless you are drunk. Then there is a possibility that someday you could actually enjoy sex. Sounds like you are only having sex to get a short term feeling of acceptance.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Sorry Kink but i agree with the others on this. It really isn't right that you feel better having sex drunk. If its someone you care about then you should want full control of your senses to be able to enjoy and remember the experience. if it isnt someone you care about then your probably best off not fucking him

 

[Ed69]

If you can't do it sober then don't do it.Leave the drinks for after the fun.

 

[guyface]

First of all, DO IT! I'm sure you have already made up your mind about it, but I just want to say it sounds great to be able to have sex with a long time friend, I'm sure there is a lot of pent up sexual tension between the two of you, that could just explode during sex!

As for everything else, I'd say you probably want to enjoy this, so don't get trashed. It sounds like drinking is a common enjoyable shared activity between the two of you, so I'd say get a little buzzed first (just half or a third of what it takes to get you drunk) and get things started before you both get trashed. It would be good to loosen up a little, but you shouldn't use alcohol as a crutch or armor, just so you don't become emotionally attached, which I believe you are afraid of. You don't need to drink at all and that could be even better.

So anyway, after some making out and rubbing, ect.. not too long (he doesn't seem to flavor foreplay too much), get down on your knees, whip out that perfect cock and start giving head! I find this sort of spontaneousness very sexy. And of course lots of tongue on the head with little/no teeth (I like it that way too), just like he said. After a while of this, (again, I think not too long) get down to it. I think riding him would be good (to show that you can be active), just be active, if he's on top, move your hips into his thrusts a little, after a while tell him he can do whatever he wants to you (if you're okay with it), I don't think any guy should have a problem with being told this.
Yeah, so for sure, do it a few times if possible, sounds like a good time, then ask him if you could just lay with him, (I'm assuming you like this) kind of a compromise after you had to be active.

Or instead of fucking him, in what sounds like a one night stand, go out with him, try to start a relationship. Would this ruin your friendship? I tend to believe that friends of 10+ years will always be friends.

I wish the best to you and him. I hope you have awesome window shattering orgasms!

 

[TheRob]

doyou have feelings for him
or you just like the idea of sex with him
if it's just sex it isn't worth risking a decade long friendship (tho if its' a real friendship sex will complicate things but I dont' think end it)
but if it's love youf eel he has a right to know, not to have you get drunk and throw yourself at him

 

[B_Think_Kink]

In my experience if you have to get trashed to fuck a man you should not be fucking that man. Why would you want your first time to be dulled or hampered by alcohol? If you really like him and want something more than a FWB, I think you should do this sober.

Most guys won't admit it; but they rarely if ever have any respect or use for a drunk woman after they leave his bed. So if you plan on getting drunk, just know it will be your first and last time being with him. :redface:

I'll compermise and just have one drink. We get high together on a weekly basis. So we will be high too.

Sounds like you know what you want, I'm just not sure that you want to do it drunk. Maybe mildly buzzed, but everytime I have had sex drunk, things came out that I didn't need to and the situations (though sexually awesome) never repeated as a result. If the guy is really interested in you, you two should be able to do a little give and take. Him giving you some lay back and enjoy it time and you giving him some "bed breaking" sex time. It can be done, but you two have crossed a big hurdle, yo've talked about what you like and most long term couples can't get to that point.

You are a highty intelligent and pretty up front kind of woman, I have no doubt you can make a real success of this. The only thing I am mystified about is what suggestions you could want? I really think you have this more in hand than you think. No pun intended.

I just can't visualize having sex with him.. spontaneous ideas are always great. I want this to be special.. not run of the mill sex.

You are on the right track babe, but from a male standpoint, we usually have nothing more to do with the drunk woman because we are asking ourselves "Am I so bad that she had to get drunk just to get in bed with me?"

I would not hate on her for having a belt or two to get loose. It is a scary thing when you get the shot at someone you have been pursuing for a while. A shot or two of whiskey can knock the butterflies out and you will be a little more relaxed and able to concentrate on pleasing each other rather than "What am I doing wrong? He isn't into me? What should I do?"

If your tolerance is low, think of something else that will take your mind off the nervousness and that will also help.

It is scary. I never want to think it's going to happen. I enjoy his company and love snuggling up beside him and most of all touching him. I love skin... when we get high I have to touch skin.. be it my own or someone else, not that he minds.

My suggestion would be to work through why you can't be intimate with someone unless you are drunk. Then there is a possibility that someday you could actually enjoy sex. Sounds like you are only having sex to get a short term feeling of acceptance.

I have two personality disorders and was abused be my closest male friend.

Sorry Kink but i agree with the others on this. It really isn't right that you feel better having sex drunk. If its someone you care about then you should want full control of your senses to be able to enjoy and remember the experience. if it isnt someone you care about then your probably best off not fucking him

I've cared about him longer than he even knows. I was going to use to booze to loosen up and relax the atmosphere. It's going to be a lot of pressure on the both of us to preform...

 

[B_blackkid]

I don't get it, perhaps because I don't drink, but where's the value in having sex with someone and needing or plotting to be under the influence for it? So you want to have sex, fine, and you want to try and be new, fine, but being drunk might not be the thing you need to achieve your goals.

Then again, who am I but a kid??

 

[snoozan]

I have two personality disorders and was abused be my closest male friend.

This is why it's probably as good an idea as any to hold off until you are clear about what your feelings are for each other before you sleep together. It sounds like you brought up the sex part on IM, but not the other very important things that it will mean for your relationship.

Kink, I've been closely reading you posts for about a year, and I'm convinced that you still have a lot of issues to work through, especially in the arena of sex and men. Putting on my Big Annoying Older-ish Woman hat on, I'd say that using recreational drugs period and especially to facilitate relationships (friendships or otherwise) is probably not a good idea for you right now.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

First of all, DO IT! I'm sure you have already made up your mind about it, but I just want to say it sounds great to be able to have sex with a long time friend, I'm sure there is a lot of pent up sexual tension between the two of you, that could just explode during sex!

As for everything else, I'd say you probably want to enjoy this, so don't get trashed. It sounds like drinking is a common enjoyable shared activity between the two of you, so I'd say get a little buzzed first (just half or a third of what it takes to get you drunk) and get things started before you both get trashed. It would be good to loosen up a little, but you shouldn't use alcohol as a crutch or armor, just so you don't become emotionally attached, which I believe you are afraid of. You don't need to drink at all and that could be even better.

So anyway, after some making out and rubbing, ect.. not too long (he doesn't seem to flavor foreplay too much), get down on your knees, whip out that perfect cock and start giving head! I find this sort of spontaneousness very sexy. And of course lots of tongue on the head with little/no teeth (I like it that way too), just like he said. After a while of this, (again, I think not too long) get down to it. I think riding him would be good (to show that you can be active), just be active, if he's on top, move your hips into his thrusts a little, after a while tell him he can do whatever he wants to you (if you're okay with it), I don't think any guy should have a problem with being told this.
Yeah, so for sure, do it a few times if possible, sounds like a good time, then ask him if you could just lay with him, (I'm assuming you like this) kind of a compromise after you had to be active.

Or instead of fucking him, in what sounds like a one night stand, go out with him, try to start a relationship. Would this ruin your friendship? I tend to believe that friends of 10+ years will always be friends.

I wish the best to you and him. I hope you have awesome window shattering orgasms!

I'm sure there is tension that hasn't been discovered yet. I used to get him so horny telling him stuff. He's seen the picture of my hood piercing.. Actually getting high together is the common shared activity. Thank you soooo much for the directional ideas! It sounds perfect.

I doubt the ability of mine to form a relationship. We will continue to be friends with the added occasional fuck friend option. Thanks for the wishes.. everyone will hear about it after.

doyou have feelings for him
or you just like the idea of sex with him
if it's just sex it isn't worth risking a decade long friendship (tho if its' a real friendship sex will complicate things but I dont' think end it)
but if it's love youf eel he has a right to know, not to have you get drunk and throw yourself at him

I have feelings for him. Nothing will spare the friendship; we'd be able to forget that sex happened. Know what? I'm not creeping him out by telling him I'm in love with him.. when I don't rightly know what love is.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

This is why it's probably as good an idea as any to hold off until you are clear about what your feelings are for each other before you sleep together. It sounds like you brought up the sex part on IM, but not the other very important things that it will mean for your relationship.

Kink, I've been closely reading you posts for about a year, and I'm convinced that you still have a lot of issues to work through, especially in the arena of sex and men. Putting on my Big Annoying Older-ish Woman hat on, I'd say that using recreational drugs period and especially to facilitate relationships (friendships or otherwise) is probably not a good idea for you right now.

We're friends, fuck buddies to be and either one can be played. He is someone I somewhat trust and care for deeply. He's very caring and would do anything for me. He's polite and very different from the gay one.

I have many issues, I'll be back in therapy in january. But there is nothing that will change, there is nothing to be changed anymore. They've done all the can for me. Drugs are bad.. but it sets a better mood. I've been doing pot for years now.. not the first time I've fucked on it.. wont be the last time.

I hope you know I'm not trying to contradict what you're saying, but rather shed some light on the situation. There is no much bad that can come out of sex, if it doesn't work, then we go back to friends who watch movies and me touching his skin.

 

[B_blackkid]

... You're such a wishful thinker. Either way I guess you'll find your own paradise; it might just take a little longer. I back you either way.

 

[snoozan]

We're friends, fuck buddies to be and either one can be played. He is someone I somewhat trust and care for deeply. He's very caring and would do anything for me. He's polite and very different from the gay one.

I have many issues, I'll be back in therapy in january. But there is nothing that will change, there is nothing to be changed anymore. They've done all the can for me. Drugs are bad.. but it sets a better mood. I've been doing pot for years now.. not the first time I've fucked on it.. wont be the last time.

I hope you know I'm not trying to contradict what you're saying, but rather shed some light on the situation. There is no much bad that can come out of sex, if it doesn't work, then we go back to friends who watch movies and me touching his skin.

Just be careful.

I said what I did out of experience-- those of us who have psychological/psychiatric issues tend to both get into situations that aren't good for us more easily than others and we tend to deal with and recover from them less easily than others. To me it's like any other kind of sick-- you have to be more careful about skiing if you've broken your leg before.

With that said, I am speaking from experience, which means I did all sorts of shit that may or may not have been good for me, and I'm doing okay now. I just remember how hard for me and for friends like me those late teens and early 20s were.

Good luck, and if nothing else, have fun.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Kink your obviously a strong woman and are going to do what you want regardless. So just make sure you are smart/safe and don't do anything you'll regret later.

I just hope he is as much of a good & respectful guy as you say

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Just be careful.

I said what I did out of experience-- those of us who have psychological/psychiatric issues tend to both get into situations that aren't good for us more easily than others and we tend to deal with and recover from them less easily than others. To me it's like any other kind of sick-- you have to be more careful about skiing if you've broken your leg before.

With that said, I am speaking from experience, which means I did all sorts of shit that may or may not have been good for me, and I'm doing okay now. I just remember how hard for me and for friends like me those late teens and early 20s were.

Good luck, and if nothing else, have fun.

Thanks sweetheart! Love you.

 

[sammy7]

Follow your heart and leave the alcohol be.