fucking hurts

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by edge4hours, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. edge4hours

    edge4hours New Member

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    whenever i try to have anal sex (me being the bottom), it really hurts. i don't get really any pleasure from fingering myself either. sometimes it feels ok but other times i get this feeling like i have to take a crap. yeah i know, it's weird... i've tried topping before and it's not bad but it just doesn't seem right. mentally i feel more submissive like a bottom yet i can't get myself to enjoy anal sex. i usually can't take it for more than just a few minutes (like 1 or 2 minutes)... and i don't know what i can do about it. when i have sex with a guy i often wonder what it would like to get fucked by him but on the other hand i know it would hurt. help me out please!
     
  2. HairyTXdude

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    You might wanna try wearing some plug, get a set one that contains like three plugs that gradually gets larger to stretch yourself, maybe ur just too tight?
     
  3. Roscoz

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    dude your not alone with this problem ... i don't do anal often (unless i'm in a relationship) for this exact reason.
     
  4. Rocky14441

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    It takes a partner who really cares what you are feeling. Sorry to be graphic,, but you're unlikely to enjoy any guy who is bigger than your average dump, unless you dedicate yourself to a "loosening up" regemin.

    That being said, I have never had an orgasm as intense and long lasting the ones I've had when I cum with my partners member up my butt. We usually have simultaneous orgasms.

    That being said (did I really share that?), I've only trusted two guys enough to do that. For me, it's part a deaply trusting intimate relationship, not just being with a guy who wants to top me to get off.
     
  5. Leche por mi cafe

    Leche por mi cafe New Member

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    One trick that worked when I first started to get fucked was the advise I took from an older friend. ( this may be disturbing for some) Clear your bowels first. If you have a movement still within you, it can make things a lot more difficult and painful. Also, you may have not found the right person that would spend the time to make you comfortable/loose enough to take a cock. Our sphincter is capable of stretching itself out to accommodate a cock, but for some of us, it takes some gentle work. If you are having sex with someone that doesn't want to take the time for you to be comfortable, then don't do it! They will only frustrate you even more!
     
  6. edge4hours

    edge4hours New Member

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    come to hawaii... we can not do anal together!
     
  7. Waruiko_ne

    Waruiko_ne Member

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    Rocky and Leche are right. You definately have to feel sexually and physically comfortable with the guy. That way, there is no rushing and there is nothing to worry about. One way that I know I'm ready is if I can feel my taint/prostate tingle in pleasurey excitement. You can then gently, yet forcefully, rub the area that is tingling. Then use your fingers to massage your sphincter. It works for me. There are also positions that help make recieving easier too.
     
  8. boomerguy

    boomerguy New Member

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    Is your partner taking the time to get you loosened up? He should start with one finger and work his way up to three fingers. At least two or three minutes of fingerplay so that both your outer AND inner sphincter muscles are relaxed enough to be able to take a cock without it feeling like you're being ripped apart. In addition he should wear a latex glove and/or have very short fingernails. That will cut down on the chance of his fingernails causing any minor internal cuts that will lead to bleeding. And LOTS of lube is a requirement!! You almost can't have too much lube. And this should go without saying but make sure that he wears a condom.


    I'll also concur with what some other posters have stated about being comfortable with your partner. That can go a long way in making anal sex pleasurable instead of a literal PITA.
     
    #8 boomerguy, Jan 11, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2009
  9. yayme

    yayme New Member

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    ^Agree with what boomerguy said, except I've heard that too much lube can induce a bowel movement. Your ass needs to be loosened up before your partner sticks a penis up there. If you don't like to finger yourself, ask him to do it.
     
  10. earllogjam

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    If it is not enjoyable don't do it. Usually the initial penetration is painful. Ask the guy to hold it there still until the pain subsides and then slowly, very slowly have him start fucking you. If it still hurts, stop and change positions. If you ride his dick you can control the penetration and speed if it starts hurting.

    If it still hurts then maybe his dick is just not a good fit for you or you just didn't take enough time to loosen your spinster muscle enough.

    I dislike large dicks up my ass because it is almost ALWAYS unenjoyable and painful for me so you aren't alone in not finding pleasure getting fucked.
     
  11. edge4hours

    edge4hours New Member

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    which positions are you talking about?
     
  12. OCMuscleJock

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    Also, make sure you clean yourself out. If you're gonna get fucked...at least try to be prepaired. Having umm...waste product up there can make it VERY uncomfortable...and messy. If you're out and about and meet someone...do the water bottle trick. First excuse yourself to the bathroom...go try to poo...THEN take the water bottle...hold it against you while standing over the toilet...and squeeze... hold a sec and let it go... at least you'd be somewhat cleaner than the avg joe. Also, if thats not enough to feel clean..you can refill the bottle at the sink and repeat :) *this was a trick i learned from a power bottom friend of mine.* hahahha
     
  13. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Just make sure you don't mistake that bottle of water for a drinking one.

    I wonder if sparkling water makes a difference?
     
  14. OCMuscleJock

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    ewww FIZZY POO!!!

    and yah... dont drink out of the bottle you stick in your ass. :)

    Just keep it in your ho bag... you know the bag of essentials you put in your car "just in case"... contents being...toothbrush/toothpaste, shorts, swimsuit, contact case and saline, condoms/lube, and something to clean your butt!!! OH and baby wipes... *i'm addicted to babywipes...unscented* and maybe a change of clothes....
     
  15. musclemonkey5

    musclemonkey5 New Member

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    What's so great about anal? Why have it? If you are having this much trouble with it, you can do without it right? It is really hyped up in the gay community, but a long time ago the gay community actually considered it to be nasty and unhealthy. My point (and I don't mean to offend anyone who does do anal): is that you don't have to do it just because everyone else is..
     
  16. 220483

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  17. matthew1985

    matthew1985 New Member

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    me and my girlfriend did it new years day, i got her very relaxed, used fingers first, she is 20 and never done this before and im 8" by 6" and it was great, granted only about 4 inches went in but any more would hurt, but it was still really hot
     
  18. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Musclemonkey5, you are so right. No loving partner would ever demand entrance to one's "most inaccessible portal" --top and bottom have to be fully involved. Patience and utmost care and communication can make the joining such as to remembered for the pleasure; the fleeting discomfort becomes something which is no longer called pain. Even so, those of us who have been there still concede that anal sex is not
    a requirement of man2man sex.
     
  19. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    What's so great about vaginal? Many women have painful penetration.

    I too am not saying this to offend, but pointing out that desire can outweigh pain. I too have problems accommodating anything other than a finger. I can't even use my rude boy because I don't relax enough. I would however, love to be able to experience the pleasures of being penetrated anally despite the fact I'd describe myself as a top. The reason for my desire is that I would love to experience feeling someone that close inside of me, to feel the most intimate part of him moving in me and finally releasing his sperm deep within. There's truly a psychological desire to offer someone, a man I hope I will love, that opportunity to share myself in that very intimate way.

    So far as I can gather, the key is to relax, relax, and relax some more and learn to control your sphincter muscles. There are two up there and while one is relatively easy to control, the one further in isn't. In some people, that inner one relaxes far easier than in others. I think you just have to learn how to do it.
     
  20. midlifebear

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    musclemonkey speaks the truth. However, I wonder if there is a proportional size relationship between the size of our dicks and what our sphincters can accommodate. My ass is basically retired. Has been for quite a few years. But when I was a young man as long as my partner had about a 6" dick I usually didn't have any trouble getting fucked -- unless the guy didn't know what he was doing. However, that didn't mean I always enjoyed it. Guys with larger dicks were always a problem. For a long time I couldn't understand how me fucking someone who was really into having me plow him -- and I mean PLOW WIDE AND DEEP -- could possibly enjoy it and be sexually stimulated. But they do. It would have made me pass out from pain! Frequently I had to work up a sense of anger as well as be horny in order to perform for the size queens who sought me out. I'm not into anger, pain, blood, scat, SM, etc. I like to suck cock, kiss, make love all night just docking with my partner keeping us both on the edge with precum, etc.

    But I have had several lovers in my life who were hung, knew what they were doing and with whom I was so erotically attracted to they probably could have fist fucked me and I would have enjoyed it. In addition to the mutual erotic attraction I'm certain there was something chemical about our attraction -- pheremones? Hell if I know. Wish I did. I only had one relationship where I could slip my partner's cock up my ass easier than drinking a glass of water. But in those pre-condom days we used lots of Vaseline -- REALLY BIG JARS of Vaseline. He was almost as big as me. But I swear that in the days when we fucked without condoms it was much easier to take on a guy with plenty of foreskin than someone who was cut. Although I like both (I prefer uncut, like me).

    Isn't there at least one proctologist who is a member of LPSG who can answer these Kosmic Kuestions?
     
    #20 midlifebear, Jan 12, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
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