Fucking on the First Date

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I'll put my 2 cents into this thread.

I must be a bit older than a lot of you here as I'm in my early 50's now - and back when I was dating in the late 70's and early 80's - sex on the first date was no big deal and almost expected.

Back then most everyone was on the pill and as it was pre-AIDS, almost no one used condoms. I saw posts from other guys who said they'd had lots of first-date sex and I can tell you that it was the norm back then and I can add my name to that list.

I've been now married for over 20 years and I can say that my wife and I most definitely had sex on our first date - steamy car windows and all! And yes, I knew she'd done so many times before me - but again, this was about 30 years ago so times and norms have changed.

I suppose many people would find all of this distressing but it is the way it was. Can't say if it was better or worse - there is a lot to be said for "getting sex out of the way early in a relationship".

I actually had the occasion to watch the old movie "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" recently that dates back to 1981 when it was filmed and you can see the different sexual behavior clearly if you watch the movie.
 

VernalTiger

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A question posed to those people who don't have sex on a first date due to hygiene and STD issues - what are you doing to minimise risks after you've been dating for an extended period?

Do you go get tested together?
Do you use condoms/dams?
Do you ask them and hope that their negative response is truthful/informed?
Do you interpret a desire for delayed sex as meaning they are, by default, less likely to have contracted a disease (because only "sluts" get infections)?
 

D_Sandy_Krautch

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I don't have time to read this entire thread (I'm on my way to bed) so apologies if any of this has already been said.

If you like him and you want to fuck him... do it. I've never understood how a woman's genitals have some magical intense value. The whole "sex is a special gift" thing is such a crock of shit. Sex is sex. Love is love. They can cross paths, but there is no inherent, ever-present link between the two. Simple as that. The link between the two is rooted in religion as far as I can tell. I am not religious. I do not believe that Jesus reserved my vagina for my "one true love". Sex is a fun thing to do... like bowling... but WAY better :)

As far as a guy not dating you because you have sex too soon. Ugh. That is only that way because women allow it to be so. If women would start owning their sexuality and doing what many (not all... but many) really wanted to do, without the guilt and shame that we're taught to have, men would have no choice but to accept that this is how life is. The stigma associated with female sexuality was created. It isn't going to magically disappear. We can sit around and wish things were different, or we can flip it the bird and MAKE a change.

I fuck on the first date fairly often. Every relationship I've ever been in has started with first date sex. it's never lead to marriage, but I remain close friends with every man I've ever been in a relationship with. I'll take that over a stressful, failed marriage any day.

Go on girl... get you some :)
 

D_Sandy_Krautch

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Never. For so many reasons.... hygiene, STDs, lack of morals and self-respect, the list goes. If somebody is willing to (or asks me to) put out on the first date, I doubt I'd date you. I would never have sex on the first date. I value myself too much to do that.


Lack of morals and self respect. *sigh* I somehow doubt that whoever taught you about morals would approve of you posting on a site dedicated to huge cock. This is all learned behavior. As far as STD's are concerned... No amount of time knowing someone changes their health status. Period. You trusting them doesn't make them any more or less clean. You take a risk every time you have sex with ANYONE. I don't care if you've been in a relationship for 5 years. People cheat and contract STD's. Bottom line... be responsible. Use protection. Understand that you are taking a risk and weigh your options.
 

D_Dick_S_Lapp

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I've done it a couple times and don't regret it. I do regrets some actions afterward though, like sticking around when i could tell there was no real chance of the relationship evolving into something stable.
 

baaman

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I've never slept with a girl on a first date, and I don't plan to. I don't want to be that guy that expects a girl to jump into bed when we hardly know each other. I need to get to know a girl very well and feel that there's a future for the relationship before I'm comfortable with sleeping with her. And to me waiting for a little while makes the first time even more memorable. But that's just me, everyone is different.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Never. For so many reasons.... hygiene, STDs, lack of morals and self-respect, the list goes. If somebody is willing to (or asks me to) put out on the first date, I doubt I'd date you. I would never have sex on the first date. I value myself too much to do that.

I don't understand this at all.

I guess I can see how you'd want someone whose morals and attitudes match your own - I get that bit even if I disagree with what you consider to be moral. The bit that confuses me is the bolded bit. Lack of self-respect? Are you judging how you believe other people respect (or don't) themselves by their sexual behaviour? Or is that judgement reserved for yourself only?

If you are simply talking about yourself then no one can really argue - or at least the argument would be fairly futile. But if you are judging how you believe I feel about myself from my sexual behaviour then I have a big problem with it. I have plenty of respect for myself - and for my man, with whom I fucked on our first date. In what way were we disrespecting ourselves and each other by having beautiful, passionate sex? It was mutually desired, mutually agreed upon - I can't imagine a more perfect start to a relationship.
 

rber42

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to me it all depends on how much u like that person, as in do u see a future with that person, if u do, then i wouldnt fuck on a first date,on the other hand, if the only thing u have in common is just a physical attraction and nothing else then by all means hump away! A lot of times we get love confused with extreme attraction and sex then once that wears off, you see that this isnt the person for u and end up in a unhappy relationship.
 

B_625girth

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I have had sex on the first date a few times. many of those times are due to the fact that the gal & myself frequented the same bars. we were friends before dating. if fact the actual date was kind of an official way of saying to everyone "hey, we're a couple". sometimes, that first date meant friendship had blossomed into romance, and there was some fucking to be done.
 

redz_rule

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I don't have time to read this entire thread (I'm on my way to bed) so apologies if any of this has already been said.

If you like him and you want to fuck him... do it. I've never understood how a woman's genitals have some magical intense value. The whole "sex is a special gift" thing is such a crock of shit. Sex is sex. Love is love. They can cross paths, but there is no inherent, ever-present link between the two. Simple as that. The link between the two is rooted in religion as far as I can tell. I am not religious. I do not believe that Jesus reserved my vagina for my "one true love". Sex is a fun thing to do... like bowling... but WAY better :)

As far as a guy not dating you because you have sex too soon. Ugh. That is only that way because women allow it to be so. If women would start owning their sexuality and doing what many (not all... but many) really wanted to do, without the guilt and shame that we're taught to have, men would have no choice but to accept that this is how life is. The stigma associated with female sexuality was created. It isn't going to magically disappear. We can sit around and wish things were different, or we can flip it the bird and MAKE a change.

I fuck on the first date fairly often. Every relationship I've ever been in has started with first date sex. it's never lead to marriage, but I remain close friends with every man I've ever been in a relationship with. I'll take that over a stressful, failed marriage any day.

Go on girl... get you some :)

Lack of morals and self respect. *sigh* I somehow doubt that whoever taught you about morals would approve of you posting on a site dedicated to huge cock. This is all learned behavior. As far as STD's are concerned... No amount of time knowing someone changes their health status. Period. You trusting them doesn't make them any more or less clean. You take a risk every time you have sex with ANYONE. I don't care if you've been in a relationship for 5 years. People cheat and contract STD's. Bottom line... be responsible. Use protection. Understand that you are taking a risk and weigh your options.

You really don't post often enough Ms Succubus :You_Rock_Emoticon:

I wanna be you when I grow up ;p
 

Mercurygirl

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Twice I've been with guys I met only a few hours before. Something tells me that lots of beer had something to do with it although I don't really remember? :rolleyes: I was a freshman, testing my own sexuality, and experimenting I guess. Both times it was awkward and I was left unfulfilled and didn't have an orgasm. Maybe I worked myself up on how epic it would be to a point it could never reach my expectations? Dunno? But the next day I even felt worse about the whole experience. I've learned I need more emotional attachment to get my sexual side in gear. That's been my experience anyway.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Twice I've been with guys I met only a few hours before. Something tells me that lots of beer had something to do with it although I don't really remember? :rolleyes: I was a freshman, testing my own sexuality, and experimenting I guess. Both times it was awkward and I was left unfulfilled and didn't have an orgasm. Maybe I worked myself up on how epic it would be to a point it could never reach my expectations? Dunno? But the next day I even felt worse about the whole experience. I've learned I need more emotional attachment to get my sexual side in gear. That's been my experience anyway.

Or maybe you just need to be sober when doing it.
 

Mercurygirl

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Or maybe you just need to be sober when doing it.

That could be true only I've been drunk with guys I've been seeing for awhile and the sex was fantastic. The whole hooking up with a stranger does nothing for me anymore. Been there, done that, it's not for me. I've got to get to know a guy before the sex falls in line and is good. Different strokes for different folks.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Sure, hence the 'maybe'.

Just to give you a different view though - for me too drunk sex with my man is great fun (not that I get drunk very often these days but it has happened) and in the past, when I was single, I've done the drunk hook up thing and it has been decidedly 'meh'. I've also done the sober or stoned hook up thing and had some fun experiences - from that I draw the conclusion that my decision making when drunk is not to be trusted. In other words I misread chemistry and chose unsuitable partners. When sober or stoned however I seem to have landed good'uns and had a fun time. That's me - YMMV.
 

Mercurygirl

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You could have something there. Perhaps my goggle vision got in the way of me choosing the correct partner from the get-go, thus the sex sucked. Come to think of it I wouldn't of hooked up with either of those guys if I were sober and had known them longer. Based on physical attraction that is.

Speaking of pot, I do so like it as pre-sexual ritual. Do you find it increases your sexual appetite or experience?
 

RawDog

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Speaking of pot, I do so like it as pre-sexual ritual. Do you find it increases your sexual appetite or experience?

I know your question was to MB, but I find this to be the case with certain kinds of pot. The more sativa blend gets me hyper and my mind races, but it's definitely an erection killer. The more indica blends get me relaxed and absolutely hard as a rock for an indefinite period of time as long as I'm stoned.